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May 04, 2005
Corporate Book Stores & Their Employees Suck
It was a beautiful day on Sunday so I thought I would go to the closest book store to purchase "Stories From a Moron" by Ed Broth (Jerry Seinfeld) and sit in the Circle and read it and giggle a bit.
I stopped by Books-A-Million to get it (right by the Circle). I looked in their "Humor" section but could not find it. Everything in that area is completely disorganized. For some reason books about painting and animation are mixed in with other "Humor" books by Jon Stewart and Ellen Degeneres. I couldn't find it so I decide to go to the 'Customer Service' area. Shockingly, no one is there so I stand in the check out line with 10 other people. Finally it comes to my turn. The check out lady (we shall call her "Lateesha") looks clearly annoyed that I have a question and not a purchase. I told her the name and author of the book and she looks it up on her handy dandy computer. She says, "It looks like we do have some in stock in the Humor section." I inform her that I have looked there but it is hard to find anything. She tells me to look again and if I cannot find it that means it is all sold out. Ummmm...okay. I walk back over to the "Humor" section thinking this isn't very funny. I look again. "Authors listed in alphabetical order" the sign says. Okay, let's see: Jon Stewart, Dave Barry, Ellen Degeneres, Erma Bombeck, that guy who wrote "He's Just Not That Into You", Gary Larson, David Sedaris, etc. Hmmm, no Broth. I decide to march right back up to Lateesha and tell her I still can't find it. I thought maybe, just maybe, she would go to the section with me to help me locate it. No such luck.
I decide to walk 8 blocks towards downtown to Border's BOOKS & Music. Surely they would have it. I mean this is a book written by Jerry Seinfeld. I arrive at the store and locate the 'Information' sign. A petite young woman is standing there (we shall call her "Emily"). I give her the info and she types it in. For some reason when I say the word "Moron" she looks at me as though I have just asked her to look up a porno. In fact, her response suggests she really believes I have asked her to look up "Fuck My Tight Juicy Ass" or "How to Take a Fist With Very Little Lube." She says, "Ummm, no we DO NOT carry that and NONE of our other stores around here will be carrying that title either." "Huh," I say. "It's a book by Jerry Seinfeld." "I'm sorry," she says. What the fuck. I decide I hate Emily.
I haul my ass back to the circle, lay down on my blanket feeling defeated. I realize I could easily order from Amazon but I wanted the book that afternoon. Of course, when I get back home I look up Borders.com, do a search for the book and there it is. I could have it delivered the next day they say. Corporate online book stores rule.
Posted by durban bud at May 4, 2005 11:44 AM
Comments
Only one comment: WHY would you spend your hard earned money on a "humorous" book by Jerry Seinfeld? (Egads...loved his show, but hated his stand-up..)
Posted by: Moi at May 4, 2005 03:47 PM
Go to your local library and check out "Letters From a Nut" or "More Letters From a Nut" by Ted L. Nancy (who is, I believe, Jerry Seinfeld's alter ego). This IS NOT his stand up schtick. These are actual letters sent in to businesses requesting some of the most ridiculous things. The responses from the businesses are hysterical. This new book by "Ed Broth" is almost the same thing except he writes to editors of obscure magazines. Check it out before you judge. ;-)
Posted by: durban at May 4, 2005 04:11 PM
Corporate anything sucks, unless it's a corporate blowjob by a VP/CEO with lots of sugar daddy moolah.
Then I'll be a corporate whore.
Posted by: Chris. at May 4, 2005 04:19 PM
don't forget presents for me
Posted by: rob at May 4, 2005 04:44 PM
Durban, are you SURE Ted L. Nancy is JS? I could swear that I heard about these books (years ago) on late-night tv and it was somebody else. I could be wrong, but they sound very familiar. That guy that played Father Guido Sarducci (sp?) comes to mind....forgot his real name.
Posted by: Moi at May 4, 2005 06:27 PM
Mr Moi, you're showing your age. The Guido Sarducci (Don Novello) book was similar but it was called The Lazlo Letters and was released a long, long time ago. Jerry Seinfeld did promotion for Ted L Nancy when Letters For a Nut came out. He was on all the talk shows appearing for his "friend" Ted L Nancy. Don't argue with me. You will lose.
Posted by: durban at May 4, 2005 09:38 PM
Lazlo Toth... now THOSE were some funny books. I took the 2nd book with me to read on my very first international flight (to Japan - it was 14 hours long) and of course finished the damn thing in the terminal LOL
Books a Million is a waste of time, even super crown was better.
Just be glad you didn't go to Kramerbooks - i stupidly went there once thinking it was a real bookstore only to find out it was an overpriced greasy spoon with books as decoration and a staff that rivals Latessha's intelligence and Emily's charm...
Posted by: TOS at May 5, 2005 10:15 AM