« Manhattan Furball | Main | Lesbians Dig Us »
June 17, 2005
Poughkeepsie Girl
Our dear Marla celebrates her birthday today. Is it just me or was almost everyone born in June? Why is that? Do we become more horny in September or is ovulation in overdrive then? Hmm.
I met Marla about 5 years ago. She had just moved next door to us in the Wardman. I was walking down the hall and this woman stops me and says, "'Scuse me (as she snapped her gum), I locked myself out of my apartment. Do you have a ladder (Snap, snap went her gum)?" "The building has a ladder downstairs," I said. "Could you help me get it?" "Sure, Nell." "By the way, I'm Marla, your new neighbor." And you've already locked yourself out of your apartment, I thought to myself. This is not a good sign. "Nice to meet you, Nell" I said.
We walked downstairs to get the humongous ladder. We take it outside and prop it against her windows. The windows were open but the screens were not. Marla runs up the ladder and starts thrashing at her window screens. She was stabbing them with scissors. "You can't keep me out of my own apartment, motherfuckers," she yelled. "Like a tay in da win." Huh? She seemed to sway back and forth as she repeated that line. I became a wee bit concerned about my new neighbor. Was she on medication? She had two cats who were watching this whole incident unfold from inside. They were looking at her as if to say, "Umm, why are you breaking into your own place?"
She finishes ruining her screens and is able to reach her hand in and push the windows up. I'll never forget the sight of her dangling out of the window with her ass in full view. She held that position for a long time while talking to her cats. "Mommy is home again. Everything is safe. Mommy loves you." The cats looked at her and then looked at the screens. "You're gonna fix that, right?" they seemed to say.
Dave from across the hall then comes into her apartment after hearing all the commotion. He sees what she has done to the screens. He then reaches outside of the window and pushes the screen up. "You realize," he says, "that the screens open from the outside too. You just need to push them up." Oops.
So that's how I met the infamous Marla. We have remained great friends ever since but I will never forget our first meeting. Classic.
Happy Birthday!
Here is a picture of what Marla's life would look like if she stayed in Poughkeepsie.
Posted by durban bud at June 17, 2005 10:27 AM
Comments
Hmmm I like the story about almost setting the building on fire better... of course my favorite story is from my first Chanukkah with Marla and the boys... each year since the 1st year I met the boys and Marla, we have celebrated the late winter holidays - namely Xmas and Chaka-khan together. Marla is of the Hebraic descent so we did the whole Menorah and dreidel bit which reminds me of my childhood... To commemorate the event I even made my now famous potato latkes :) well not famous b/c of the taste (though I recall people enjoying them) but from people walking in and saying "Why is TOS making latkes - he's not Jewish!?!" What can I say, I have what it takes to be a Jew (nose, dark hair, latke making prowess) and yes I grew up down the street from a temple as a kid... anyhow, that is my favorite Marla story, l'chaim to Marla!
Posted by: TOS at June 17, 2005 02:14 PM
Ohhhhhh, yeah! Totally forgot about the fire story. Guess I will have to do a Part 2 of this post. That was a crazy night. Of course, I could do so many stories on Marla.
You do look kinda Jewish, Tos. Work it.
Posted by: durban at June 17, 2005 02:20 PM
Happy Birthday
As long as we are sharing Marla stories an honorable mention would be the time she caused the evacuation of our entire apartment building at 10:00 PM on a Sunday evening. It was the first night of the new series Queer as Folk on Showtime. Our building having many gay residents was anxiously awaiting the series premiere.
Sunday evening 9:30 ish
The phone rings and Marla has called, anxiety in her voice, to summon me to her apartment next door. There was a problem with her fireplace. I opened the door to see an apartment filled with smoke from a blazing fire log. A strong downdraft was fueling the flames and sending the smoke out of the hearth into her living room. Marla was attempting to smother the log with wet dish towels. The feat ultimately worked but the smoldering log continued to bellow thick smoke. Despite all of the windows being opened in her apartment the living room continued to fill with smoke. I commented to Marla, “I am surprised the fire alarm has not gone off.” As I returned to my apartment the entire common hallway was murky with gray smoke. Several minutes later the fire alarms were howling and people were evacuating the building with pets in their carriers and residents in their PJ’s. Needless to say as the firemen arrived with axes in hand running toward her door she pursued them to spare her front door.
Posted by: rob at June 17, 2005 02:33 PM
ahhh....he counters his furball story with a "good deed" story...good boy ! Marla sounds like a hoot. Happy B'day Marla (whoever you are...).
Posted by: Ken at June 17, 2005 03:25 PM
well, i am sooo glad to find out that my daughter is a creative one...even if her "ass" has to hang out while being creative!! thank goodness all of you live close enough to be involved in her escapades...here's to dear marla...carry on with pride!!!!!
Posted by: Marla's mamala at June 17, 2005 03:41 PM
I must honour her properly... if you want to really know Marla you must know a few key phrases... find them at: http://tos.blogs.friendster.com/chasing_the_wanderlust_in/2005/06/marlaspeak_in_h.html
Posted by: TOS at June 17, 2005 03:54 PM
Happy birthday Marla! Miss you and hope you have an amazing weekend!
Posted by: Matt at June 17, 2005 03:57 PM
tj - my family and friends get much joy over the silly things i do. i recently heard that photo you created has made it to the cover of a SUNY school's marketing materials. seniors at my old high school are now actually studying for the SAT's so they can get out of poughtown! poughkeepsie really is a great place, mullets and all. thanks for the love and laughs over the years.
Posted by: Marla at June 17, 2005 04:42 PM
I am fortunate that Marla has flown out to HOT Phoenix to celebrate her B'day with me today!!!
I enjoyed the stories about the Marla locking herself out and about the fire. Thanks for sharing!
I was wondering something......Marla has been throwing this saying out quite often on her visit here in Phoenix---"That is so 80's." It is a hoot! She is helping me decorate my condo, and I have found out that half the things in my home are
"That is so 80's."
Does she pull this on you guys too?
:))))
LOVE YOU SISTER!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Jodi
Posted by: Jodi (Marla's sis) at June 17, 2005 05:30 PM
give it up for Miss Marla, the stankiest, most phabulous Wardman Lady I know!! lovin and smooches to our gal!! p.s. Bailey Beagle sends a lick!
Posted by: t.todd at June 17, 2005 08:13 PM
Happy B-Day Marla!! We gemini's kick ASS. Our first memory meeting Marla was TJ & Rob's oscar party a year ago (I think it was oscar party or was it that HUGE OVERKILL Thanksgiving Day dinner we had??) Even though we only had brief "hangouts" with her and have known her only a short time, she left a permanent impression on us and we love her nonetheless. I'm sensing the need for a ROAD TRIP for the bunch of you to come visit us here in sunny AND NO HUMIDITY Cali (although a there's been a lot of shaking lately)
ciao all! and again, Happy Birthday Marla!
Posted by: BM at June 18, 2005 11:07 AM
Oh man...I totally blew it missing the grand dame's birthday on the 17th. Gosh, we could start a separate blog on Marla. The greatest, the best; she is totally A W E S O M E (and you have to drag out the "some" for effect)...must be another word from the 80's.
TJ, you're story on the window screens was right on! I remember my first view of her apartment with the slashed screens. Being the nice neighbor, I fixed them for her and we have bonded ever since. I also became her handy-man and would always love helping her out because I knew the next night there would be a nice hot cassarole dish of baked ziti (I think it was the ONLY dish she could master), but it was delicious.
Three cheers to Marla! I miss you, babe.
Happy Belated Birthday!
Posted by: Dave at June 20, 2005 06:26 AM
Don't forget spinach dip!!!
Posted by: TOS at June 20, 2005 09:21 AM