« Lesbians Dig Us | Main | I Despise Tom Cruise »
June 21, 2005
Yet Another Friggin' B-Day
I am going to re-post an entry because it is Todd's birthday and this story is all about him. But first, I have to talk briefly about the death of music. I saw a music video this morning. It was Jessica Simpson doing a cover of "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'." It was frightening. It was more frightening cuz Willie Nelson was also in the video playing guitar and singing backup. I want to puke. How did this happen? Then, I saw a video from my favorite band. Green Day's 4th single from their American Idiot CD is "Wake Me Up When September Ends." It's a wonderful 4 and a half minute song. The video version is over 7 minutes and includes TALKING. Actors reading lines, people. How did this happen? It is terrible. Please edit this video and resubmit it with no actors. It is so cheezy.
Ugh, anyway, happy birthday, Todd. Here is your present. Enjoy!
Please Do Not Call Me At 4 in the Morning
I was enjoying a nice klonopin induced sleep last night. Then. The phone rang. I woke up completely startled. I looked at the clock. It was 4:12 am. Who the fuck would be calling now?
There are only 3 reasons someone could possibly be calling at this hour. (1) It's a family emergency, (2) A friend is in the 'hood and desperately needs a place to crash, or (3) it's Pat O'Brien. It was none of the above.
The caller ID suggested a local number but after the answering machine picked up I heard a not so local voice. It was our friend Todd and his buddy calling from San Francisco. They were obviously having a good ol' time. I appreciate you thinking of us over there and wanting to express your love over the phone while having a wild time but please remember, we were 21 in 1992. That was like 13 years ago.
I would also like to remind people that if you do call and leave a drunk message I will save it, edit it with some audio software and put it to music. It will be played at all the local house parties and it will be funny. Trust me. I've already made 2 hot dance tracks this way and a third will now be on its way. There is the hit "I'm a Fuckin' Drunk" by Bobbie B. taken from her audio message that said, "I don't know what the fuck time it is but I'm fuckin' drunk..." which was followed by some more foul language and slurring. There is also "Big Baby Bottom Girl" by "Dino" taken from his message that said, "When you send out that Evite to everyone on that list about my upcoming birthday party, please do not refer to me as a girl, or a big girl, or baby girl or bottom. Some of these people are my co-workers." Okay, I won't.
Todd is one of the most unique people you could ever meet. He's the owner of that beagle I'm chillin' with in the picture on this page. He is brilliant and crazy at the same time. He was a lawyer and a political consultant for the past 7 years. He, like me, was raised Southern Baptist so we both have interesting stories about that (I won't bore you with that now). His talent is much better put to use doing more creative work. He left DC to pursue something different in San Fran. I hope he has found it there. He has a lot to offer.
We went to see Todd (and a few other friends) a couple months ago in San Fran. We made plans to see Todd one night. We went for a bite to eat and then he took us to some bar in the Castro. He's very social so he started talking to the first people he saw. He immediately had his arms around them and we were forced to engage in idle chit chat.
One of the men looked like Francis Ford Coppola, the other can only be described as a platinum blonde twink. The next thing I see is a member of Menudo standing with us (or he looked like he is/was in Menudo). He couldn't be more than 20 (so I guess he was kicked out of the group). Todd has his arm around him and informs us that he is leaving with him. "Umm, what? You are curb dropping us?" Then, for some completely odd reason, Todd suggests the twink go back to our hotel with me and Rob. "Ha, ha, ha, very funny." I then ask Todd in front of his new friend, "Are you going to have anal?" I invite all of you out there who get curb dropped by your friends for a complete stranger to ask this question. It makes for an extremely awkward moment for the new couple and a whole lot of comic relief for everyone else. Todd leans over to me and says, "that's inappropriate." I know, and so is curb-dropping your friends for Menudo. Whatever, they end up leaving together. Rob and I are standing there like, "should we leave?" The twink then whispers in my ear, "I would love to watch you and your boyfriend have sex. I would also love to give you both a blowjob. It would be so hot." Umm, ew, no thanks, raincheck, bu-bye. We left and that was the last time we have seen Todd. Just thought I'd share.
Posted by durban bud at June 21, 2005 08:45 AM
Comments
On this day bellybuttons for all men and my nipples were doomed... Happy Birthday Mama!
Posted by: TOS at June 21, 2005 09:19 AM
T Todd
Happy Bday, we miss you (and the beagle) but not the glitter. Hope San Fran is all you ever wanted. Have a great birthday.
Hugs and Kisses
Rob
Posted by: rob at June 21, 2005 01:40 PM
aaaaaah, boys. you make t.todd smile ;o) taking a gaggle of sparkling souls to SF's legendary Trannyshack! tonight to celebrate in proper glittered style. you might want to turn your ringers off when you go to bed . . . ;o)
Posted by: t.todd at June 21, 2005 02:34 PM
is that Madge from Solid Gold???
Posted by: TOS at June 21, 2005 04:23 PM
No, it's Todd from MAL weekend.
Posted by: durban at June 21, 2005 05:37 PM
Random thoughts.....and comments.
Tos: After I hit send, I noticed that I added that extra "s". My bad. That beer sounds good.
Stina: I wanna have a beer with you as well.
Thanks for the info on the new Coke. Diet Coke with Splenda....not too bad.
TJ and Rob: I have vacation time the 2nd week in Aug. Will you be around?
TJ: I thought of you the other night surfing the movie channels. Wanna know why?.... "Night Mother" was on.
This was a movie that TJ tried to make me watch. The end result: I started crying and began asking......."why would you wanna watch this".
Man, was I fragile!
I wanna start a blog. Is it easy to do?
Posted by: pam at June 21, 2005 08:39 PM
Just got into the office after a night of debauchery with Todd. I have to say, in the few months he has been here, he has formed a gaggle of amazing glamazon girlfriends and a hot collection of straight guys who adore him. Had a great time and the night will go down in history as the night I met Lady Bunny...
By the way, over at Todd's, I gave Bailey an extra hug and told him it was from Aunt Rob and TJ. :)
p.s. I am glad Todd's bday is only once a year...
Posted by: Matt at June 22, 2005 12:44 PM
Pam,
To answer your questions:
1. Yes, we should be around that week. Book soon.
2. 'Night Mother was a good movie but, yeah, it is very depressing. I went through my depressing movie phase and have come out of it as a trooper. I also made my mom watch Reservoir Dogs during that period. Very odd.
3. If you want to start your own blog I recommend going here:
http://www.blogger.com
It's easy to set up and use.
Posted by: durban at June 22, 2005 01:01 PM
Pam,
Definitely use blogger.com if you want to start a blog. That's what I used, and except for Word & Explorer, I am otherwise practically computer illiterate. If it wasn't for good friends and family who know what they are doing, I probably would have blown up my 'puter ages ago.
And I'd like to have a beer with you too. :)
Posted by: stina at June 22, 2005 01:24 PM
How did my blog turn into Friendster?
Posted by: durban at June 22, 2005 01:46 PM