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October 19, 2005
Roomba
Rob and I usually celebrate our own Christmas after we visit and spend time with one of our families. We switch off respective places to spend the holiday every other year. We're very versatile that way. Both families send us packages with gifts but we do not open them until we get back. It actually gives us something to look forward to after the 25th.
Last Christmas my mom told me she had gotten me something "unusual" and if I did not like it to please return it and that she would not be offended at all. I was concerned what she had gotten me cuz she was so adamant about telling me this every time I spoke with her. I also received a call from my sister who laughed and said, "Please call me as soon as you open it. Ha ha ha." I was really nervous.
I have to add that opening your gifts away from your family and in the privacy of your own home is awesome because if you really don't like it, you don't have to suddenly become Meryl Streep and pretend how much you love it. In fact, you can say "yuck" and throw it. It's really better this way. I remember when I was younger and opened presents in front of my relatives; someone would always have a video camera. The pressure was so intense to put on your best performance (especially if each person took turns opening their gift while everyone waited). "Oh, thank you, Aunt Bonnie! This Old Spice cologne set is just awesome. Can't wait to use it!" Hopefully, there were always eager little kids around who were so ready to open their next gift so the camera would quickly pan away. Whew!
Well, the time had come for us to open our gifts from last X-mas. We actually got some pretty decent stuff. I waited to open the infamous large package my parents had sent until the end. I opened it up and gasped. It was a Roomba! A look of terror came over my face. I wasn't sure how to feel. First, I thought, Oh my God, my mom watches infomercials. Do her friends know? Then I felt insulted. Does she think I am that filthy and lazy that I can't use a vacuum cleaner? Lastly, I began to laugh. It's a funny looking little object. Then I remembered I had read somewhere that these things actually work pretty well. What the hell, let's give it a try.
We turned it on and let it do its work. It went all over the place. If it would bump into something, it would keep turning until it had a pathway to move again. If it got stuck on a rug, it would just keep trying (even kind of moving upwards to get off it). It was pretty cool and it kept going over everything again and again. We opened its little dirt container and it had managed to pick up a lot of shit. I was impressed.
Sometimes I can be easily entertained so I would turn it on and just watch it for long periods of time. If I were stoned had a few beers I could even watch it for an hour or so. It was such an interesting little robot. After awhile I started to feel a bond with my new mechanical friend. He was becoming a part of the family.
I would play with him. I would run around with a string and see if he could catch it. We would have dinner at the table together. He would hang out with us during barbecues. We would sit and watch "Newlyweds" together and just laugh our asses off. He even celebrated gay pride with us this year.
We thought about having portraits taken of our alternative family. It would be me, Rob, the beagle we sometimes took care of and the Roomba. It would be beautiful. A beautiful, loving family.
Well, the beagle moved away and the Roomba and I had a falling out. He's still around but we don't play with him much anymore. Just like every gift you get, you tend to put it away after awhile. You just lose interest.
Plus, next Christmas is right around the corner and I need a new toy. Can't wait!
Our Roomba celebrating Gay Pride
Posted by durban bud at October 19, 2005 11:28 AM
Comments
I wish I could have seen Bailey freaking out with the lil Roomba chasing him around!
I think you me and Rob need to go put on our xmas sweaters and go down to JCPenney's portrait studio to get a photo taken for my fireplace mantle - maybe we could get the faux forest background... OOOH better yet - the laserbeams in the background!!!
Posted by: TOS at October 19, 2005 04:46 PM
Damn -- now I have to think of something else to get you guys. :)
Posted by: stina at October 20, 2005 03:23 PM
LOL i love your Roomba
Posted by: brant at January 1, 2007 07:27 PM