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November 30, 2005

American Girl

* Do not buy American Girl dolls for your daughters or nieces this holiday season. I have learned my lesson. And I'm not saying that because they make Peppermint Patty-like dolls; I'm saying that because they automatically put you on their little girly mailing list. My sister told me to buy my niece one a couple years ago. So I did. There was an American Girl catalog addressed to me lying on the floor of our lobby the other day. I was mortified. How dare they. No wonder my neighbors have been looking at me funny. They think I collect dolls.

* Is it just me or is "King Kong" the most popular bestiality movie ever made? No one seems to mention this. They sure aren't promoting "Brokeback Mountain" like they are "King Kong." Guy on guy romance = bad. Gorilla on girl romance = HOT! Naomi Watts must be sore.

* Bob Mould performed a rockin' version of "Days of Rain" the other day at the Birchmere. He also played "Can't Fight It." It made me happy. We all had a great time. If you weren't there, I am so sorry.

* I had more to say but I can't remember what it was right now. This will have to do.

Posted by durban bud at 10:16 PM | Comments (7)

November 28, 2005

Happy Cyber Monday!

I guess I'm to start shopping online today, cuz the media has coined a new term for today and tells me I should. It's Cyber Monday! So everyone log on and purchase your Trailer Trash Turleen dolls before midnight!

If you woke up at 4am to go shopping on "Black Friday", then you really need to get out more. Seriously. I don't see how anyone would want to put themselves through all that chaos. I love watching the video from the news of all those losers running through the entrance of the Wal-Mart pushing each other over. If I were forced to go out that day (at Wal-Mart), I would start slam dancing into people. I would trip anyone running. I would throw things. I would scream like a girl. I would tell little kids that the Wal-Mart regional manager told me that Santa Claus isn't real, and that they should have their parents call him to see if it's true. And I would shoplift anything I wanted cuz Wal-Mart is evil. If you don't believe me, watch this movie and see what a fucked up company they are. But if you MUST shop at Satan's Lair, please just take shit and leave.

Anyway, we had a blast all weekend. Saw lots of movies. Thanksgiving dinner went very well. Such good company. Diverse group of friends. One of our favorite movies is "Flirting With Disaster" so we made everyone watch that after dinner. We laughed our asses off. It was a good time. We had so many leftovers (even after we sent everyone home with doggy bags) so we invited everyone back Saturday for a sequel of T-Day.

Friday, we went to see a musician/salad maker/dinner guest perform at Ram's Head in Annapolis. Show was HOT. In fact, it was smoldering. Who do you think caused this a few doors down? Coincidence? I think not. For a good rundown of the show, check out this from a couple new bloggers.

Saturday, I went to a movie at DC's cool, new independent theaters downtown, E Street Cinemas. Great place to see a movie. Anyway, Marla and I went to see "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic." Wow, what a crazy, funny, sick, stupid, odd movie. I laughed through the whole film (although it seemed I was the only one). She makes fun of every racial stereotype, or any stereotype for that matter. She also jokes about 9/11 and the Holocaust and other no-no's. Makes for some uncomfortable laughing but you can't help it. I could have done without some of the musical numbers and skits, but her stand up is really good.

Saturday evening, we had the same T-Day crew over again (plus 2 additions) to eat all our leftovers. We watched "The Upside of Anger." Another one of our favorite films. It seems like a chick flick for a good while but has a great ending. Everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Anyway, I had stuffing for breakfast this morning. Ugh. How can we still possibly have food left over? Must. Hit. Gym.

Some random pics from the paparazzi on T-day & T-day 2. He took about 700 pics so I'll post the best ones when I get them. Not sure why some of them are so small but I do not ask questions from freelance photographers.

Pretty Table

The group (except for Jose)

Learning that the neck and giblets should be removed before cooking and not after.

Random photos from Turkey I and Turkey II

Posted by durban bud at 11:21 AM | Comments (3)

November 23, 2005

Turkey Baster

So yesterday my good friend, David, took me grocery shopping to get all the food for our Thanksgiving meal. As I've mentioned before, we always have Thanksgiving at our place and invite a few friends over who are staying in town. And, yes, I cook.

As we were walking to the store, David looks at me in disgust. It was as if he had seen a vagina for the first time. And the vagina had teeth. He then says, "Dude, your ears are filthy." Gee, thanks; how sweet of you. True friends are honest so I appreciate his honesty. Since I had no q-tip, I stuck my finger in my ear, did a thorough swipe and wiped it on his jacket. Thanks for the notice.

Of course, I'm totally kidding. I wiped it on his jeans.

I picked up a 19 pound turkey from Whole Foods. I guess we'll be having lots of leftovers since there are only 7 of us. I got all the usual foods one has during this type of dinner.

The one thing I do miss about not eating with my family is the biscuits my mom would always make. My parents are southern and there is nothing like southern biscuits and gravy. Yum.

We'll pig out, giggle, tell stories and watch Steel Magnolias lots of football.

Looking forward to it.

Posted by durban bud at 09:29 AM | Comments (5)

November 21, 2005

Taggot

Call me Bob Taggot, I don't care. I have been "tagged" in the past and have never responded but now I will. I was not tagged for this entry but I'm going to do it cuz I ain't got nothin' else to say, bitches.

Two Names You Go By:
1. TJ
2. Teej
3. T
4. dBud
5. T-bagger
6. durban

Oops, that's 6.

Two Parts of your Heritage.
1. English
2. My dad says I have about a pinkie finger's worth of Indian inside of me. And that sounds just about right

Two Things that Scare You:
1. Not reaching my potential
2. Letting people down

Two of your Everyday Essentials:
1. Caffeine
2. Orgasm

Two Things you are Wearing Right Now:
1. Boxers
2. Reading glasses

Two of your Favorite Bands or Musicians:
1. Nirvana
2. Green Day

Two Things you want in a Relationship:
1. Lots of passionate sex
2. Respect for independence

Two Truths:
1. Everyone should be in some sort of therapy
2. Trust, Intimacy & Respect = Healthy Relationship

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You:
1. People who take care of themselves
2. Nice butt (and face, of course)

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies:
1. DJ-ing
2. Cooking

Two Things you want Reeeeaaaalllly Badly:
1. A home in Europe
2. The new iPods with Video

Two Places you Want to Go on Vacation:
1. South Africa
2. New Zealand

Two Things you Want to Do before You Die:
1. Make sure Rob is happy
2. Travel the world

Two ways that YOU are Stereotypically a guy:
1. I drink a lot of beer
2. I'm not so clean

Two Things You wouldn’t Normally admit:
1. I like the Golden Girls
2. I was raised a southern baptist

Two Things you are Thinking about Now:
1. Hot man sex
2. Peace in the world

Two Stores you Shop At:
1. planetxusa.com
2. Target

Two People I Haven’t Talked to in awhile:
1. Pam
2. Bobbie

Two bloggers who may now dislike you for passing this on to them (and who will likely not even respond):
1. Bob
2. Matty

Posted by durban bud at 02:21 PM | Comments (3)

November 15, 2005

June Bugs

I learned a new term for lesbians. The boys from New Hope, PA are calling them June Bugs. For example, "Did you see the line of June Bugs waiting outside the Frog Pond to get in?" I thought it only fair that gay men should have their own insect term so I shall now refer to them as Cockroaches. Straight men are still, of course, Mosquitos.

I've decided I'm doing all my Christmas shopping at this place. They have lots of cool, weird stuff. I bought my mom a doll from there. It's called Trailer Trash Turleen. I think I might also get one for my niece for X-mas. Would that be bad? The doll doesn't really say anything offensive. She just burps and says things like, "Bubba Junior, get off your sister!" I invite all of you to get one for somebody as a holiday gift. It will make the holiday get togethers much more bearable and humorous.

I once worked with a girl named Katrina at a Blockbuster Video back in the day. I wonder how she feels about being named after a terrible hurricane. She was kind of a bitch. On the news you constantly hear reporters referring to "the Katrina disaster." I wonder how that makes her feel. Will guys be more cautious when asking her out? Will they see her name as some sort of omen and avoid her? I wonder if I'll ever have a hurricane named after me. I kinda doubt it. I'll bet there will be a Hurricane Marla or Hurricane Ira someday. I can feel it. Yeah, those last couple sentences were esoteric. I didn't know what esoteric meant until I heard Naomi Judd use it on an episode of Star Search. I had always heard the word used but never knew what it meant. Then, I figured if Naomi Judd knows what it means and I don't I better find out ASAP. So I did. I looked it up in the dictionary and now try to use it as often as I can.

I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. This year has flown by. We always spend Turkey Day here in town with our friends who do not leave town (or have other plans). We cook a huge meal and just chill out. It's always a good time. Friends are family so we always do the biological family thing for X-mas. Hopefully, you will be joining us. I'm a good cook. Believe it or not.

Gobble, gobble.

Posted by durban bud at 11:22 AM | Comments (3)

November 08, 2005

The Daily Show: Homometer

Have you seen this clip from The Daily Show? It's hysterical.

Via Jeremy.

Posted by durban bud at 02:07 PM | Comments (6)

November 07, 2005

Cuz You Really Want to Know

This is what I did this past weekend. And by the way, it was a good weekend.

Friday night, Rob made me watch Star Wars III. I agreed because I knew it would sound awesome on our kick-ass surround sound system. Seriously, you should come over and hear it sometime. It will bring a tear to your eye.

Anyway, the movie was as painful as I imagined. Sorry, Matt & Matt. I realize I'm in the minority on that but I'm just being honest. I don't know if it's my ADD or if a portion of my brain is damaged that prevents me from really understanding science fiction. I tend to drift off.

Here is the problem I have with the newest Star Wars films: George Lucas hired actors we are already very familiar with.

When I see Samuel L. Jackson in his little futuristic robe, all I can think about is Pulp Fiction and I laugh. When I see Jimmy Smits, all I can think of is LA Law and I laugh. When I see Ewan McGregor, all I can think of is Trainspotting and I laugh. When I see Natalie Portman, all I can think of is that movie where she had a baby at a Wal-Mart and I laugh. When I see Hayden Christensen, all I can think of is Very Bad Acting and I squirm. When I see Yoda, all I can think of is that's exactly what it would look like if Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog had a child. And I really laugh.

Saturday was absolutely gorgeous. Went to the gym. Took our spinning class. Did I tell you I finally gave my spin instructor the postcard that Debbie Gibson signed? Yeah, well he was touched. Said he was gonna get it framed. Remember, people: It's the little (or slightly creepy) things that can bring joy into someone's life.

Later in the evening, we went to an art exhibit with Joe. Bob and his band were jamming there so we thought we'd stop by. It was nice to do/see something different. Cool space too.

Went to dinner at David Greggory downtown. I had no idea he had his own restaurant either! It was right next door to Tim Russert and Nina Totenberg. Went back to Joe's and watched about 3 hours of Da Ali G Show. So funny.

Sunday was also gorgeous. Did some work. Went to the circle and hung out for awhile with Rob and Bob. It was packed. People everywhere. Very relaxing. Life is peachy.

And that's about it. Now you know.

Posted by durban bud at 11:35 AM | Comments (4)

November 03, 2005

Funny Leaf

Okay, I realize this was probably released a long time ago and most of you have already heard it but, if not, check it out: What if God Smoked Cannabis. Just heard it for the first time. Hopefully you can listen to music at work. It made me giggle hard.

Posted by durban bud at 11:54 AM | Comments (2)

November 02, 2005

Zombie Nation

So last night as I was curled up on the couch in the fetal position sucking my thumb while watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, I saw a shitload of drug commercials. I was watching "The West Wing with Geena Davis" and then I watched "Boston Legal" (which I had never seen before cuz Captain Kirk is in it and he has fake hair and it's hard for me to watch that). 95% of the commercials were from drug companies. This needs to stop. Almost every one of them I felt I needed (except for the one to stop your period; although if I saw the ad enough I might believe I had a little baby pussy). There was a new ad for some leg shaking disorder. I'm like, I have that! I never knew this was a "condition." The remaining 5% of the commercials were mostly disgusting political ads for the upcoming Virginia elections.

The pharmaceutical companies have taken over TV. We're constantly told how awful life can be for some people. No wonder health care costs are through the roof. We're paying for it during prime time television. This should only be discussed between a doctor and patient and come recommended by the DOCTOR first.

A friend of ours stopped by briefly during one of the shows. He is one of the happiest people I know. Always in a good mood when he sees us. He's one of the guys people would label as "good energy."

Well, he goes on to tell us these stories of how he has been on every type of medication and locked up in the psycho ward and everything. He says he's still fucked up. I don't get it. He's a good looking straight guy too!

It just feels like in the past few years a dark cloud has entered the atmosphere. I think I know the reasons but I'm a skeptical motherfucker and don't want to get too political. Almost everyone I know, surburban or city dwellers, are on some sort of medication and/or therapy. If they're not, they tend to be the most miserable people to be around. Now, don't get me wrong, I think a lot, if not most, of these "conditions" are real for most people but how did we get this way? Maybe they always existed but were never diagnosed correctly. I mean, we used to not live as long as we do now. I don't know.

And seeing these commercials for politicians running for office the last few weeks doesn't help. If you live in DC or Virginia, you know what I'm talking about. They are so fucking nasty.

They all talk about Jesus and loving the Lord, and yet, they smear each other like the other one is Osama Bin Laden or something. Again, I don't live in Vaginia, so please stop airing your commercials on DC television. I understand you are trying to reach the cool people of Northern Vagina but still. Northern Vagina should get its own TV stations. That Kilgore guy is a fucking asshole and one of the most hateful politicians I've ever seen. Then again, so is everyone to the right in congress these days.

Perhaps, they all need some medication.

Posted by durban bud at 10:56 AM | Comments (6)