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March 09, 2006
Behind Brown Eyes
Hi Kids! Did you miss me??? Sorry for the lack of contact but these are some strange days. I'm back after a self-imposed break from the chaos that can sometimes be called DC. I just had to get away for awhile. I went to a place that some would call a rehab; I call it...my parents' house.
Now, before I get flamed by my friends in good ol' upstate New York for not contacting them while I was there, please understand this was a non-social visit entirely. (I will contact you all at a more appropriate time in the future). I just needed to reconnect with my parents and aunt and uncle whom I've selfishly ignored for the past 2 years.
My uncle is near death with every type of cancer. I grew up with this man. They live next door to my parents. He had no idea I was visiting. We surprised them the next evening I was home. My aunt told me (after I visited) that he was so excited to see me that he called a bunch of people to let them know who he just saw. I felt like Jesus or maybe the producers of that crappy Best Picture movie, Crash. Remember, people, it's the little things that matter, seriously.
My uncle can't walk without assistance. When my parents told him I was upset about some work stuff, he insisted that he visit with me. This was the first time he wanted to venture outside of his house since he became progressively worse with the cancer. But he was there. He was there. I'm upset about silly shit and this man is slowly dying and he wants to make sure I'm okay; kinda puts things in perspective. Before I left for DC, I kissed him on his head and told him I will see him in a month. I really hope I do.
My parents are so cute. They have been married for over 40 years now and still love each other immensely. My dad is retired but my mom still works. He gets up before her every morning and shovels the driveway (this is Rochester, NY after all) and makes her coffee. He drives her to work and picks her up. They still hold hands and kiss each other. It's sickeningly sweet. I plan to be just like them. Rob and I are still together after 10 years and I want to keep that tradition growing.
Sidenote: Quick facts about Rochester, NY
* It has some of the nicest houses ever built downtown. Home of the Eastman House (the Kodak guy)
* It is the third largest city in NY (smaller than Buffalo, bigger than Syracuse)
* It has the second largest gay population in the state (yes, all the boys from Buffalo and Syracuse and Ithaca come here if they want something a little more tasty) and it also has a really cool "gay" area downtown
* Kodak, Xerox, Wegmans (the coolest grocery store ever) and Bausch & Lomb are all based here
* Susan B Anthony lived here and is buried here
* Frederick Douglass lived and died here
* Durban Bud grew up here
After spending so much time with them, I realize how comical they are. They, like most of my friends, could have their own sitcom. I, too, could have my own sitcom. I would play the lead role, of course, as a primadonna 11-year old girl constantly drunk on wine coolers. Trust me, it would make great television. I would just need to lose the goatee to look natural.
My mom complained to my father during my visit that the toilet was too loose. My dad thought she was crazy. He and I both assumed she meant the toilet seat but she said it was the whole thing. They both then took turns sitting on the toilet and quickly getting off it to prove her point. My mom was unable to prove her point. However, I just wish there was a camera there. The whole event must have been seen to be understood.
If, for nothing else, this visit helped me and my dad get even closer. My mom and I have always been close. My dad and I have always been close but he never really "got me" before. My mom always put up with my odd sense of humor. This time my dad "got me" and, I believe, I got him. He's a really wonderful, loving human being. It's amazing what this man would do for me. I'm very lucky and you are too if you know him.
Anyway, people, I'm doin' okay. I'm gonna go away again for awhile and then I'll be back and we can finally all kiss and make up. Our birthdays (on Feb 23) sucked this year so when I get back, we better have a slammin' coming out/birthday/be happy/thankful cele-fuckin'-bration gathering and you all better be there. Seriously.
;-)
Posted by durban bud at March 9, 2006 02:12 PM
Comments
Speaking on the subject of Dbud's parents I can vouch for the fact that they are just as sweet as shoefly pie (though not cloying :-P) Meeting Dbud's parents was exactly like meeting Dbud - we hit it off immediately. His mother is what you could call "a hoot" and is hysterical funny, especially since she has a unique blend of WVA and upstate NY accent. She is just as talkative and effervescent as can be and has always treated me like I was family. I think we have the same personality - don't get us going, she is one of the few people who can keep up with me.
Now his Dad on the other hand is so laid back and casual. You'd have to be a reject if you didn't just start talking with the man. He always says "well hey buddy!" whenever he sees me. He is warm and inviting - the kindof guy you would want to go to a ballgame with - even if you didn't like sports.
I love when they come to visit. With parents like that it is no wonder that Dbud is a swell guy and my best friend!
Now if Mr. M would get blogging I could write how he and I could have been switched at birth with our Italian New Yorker/New England families...
Posted by: TOS at March 10, 2006 02:47 PM
My favorite update ever, Teej. (Choked me up a bit, I'll admit.) Good vibes to you guys, Gerry & Carol and your folks. You're so right -- we feel SO lucky to know all y'all. Glad you got away. Didn't know if I should call up there, or not. Not sure what was happening. Thanks for the update...
Posted by: Ken at March 10, 2006 07:43 PM
So glad you had a chance to be home and looked after in such great hands. I repsect your space and will continue until I hear from you. You are prayed for often and I wish you the best in this ride you currently are traveling on.
Your uncle is a great man. Remember the time he came to help us when my car ran out of gas......I'm sure him seeing you gave him a dose of what not even medicine can provide. That man has always been a huge fan of yours.
Reading about you and your Dad.....wow. I've always adored that man. Your parents are wonderful and supportive people..you're blessed to have them.
You hang in there....you deserve what you are searching for.
Love,
Pam
Posted by: Pam at March 13, 2006 06:58 PM