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April 14, 2006
Rehab Rehash
Guess who's back?
I survived! I can now add rehab to my list of accomplishments! I'm on a roll.
Rehab was a definite eye-opening experience. I met some amazing people and learned a lot about myself. Here are some highlights:
* We weren't allowed any TV, portable music devices, phones, internet access, fiction books, games, computers, newspapers, etc. It was all about concentrating on ourselves. That was a tough adjustment.
* When I got there I naturally bonded with one of the other loner freaks. He's one of those goth guys. He's a DJ and bartender (well, he was a bartender). We came in the same day and left the same day. He's an amazing person and I will definitely keep in touch with him. We both agreed that the whole experience was more tolerable because we had each other.
* Alcohol was the primary drug of choice for most of the patients but crack was a close second. It is the new DOC for upper middle class individuals (surpassing cocaine). I met an older philosophy professor and chemistry school teacher both addicted to it. I also met some housewives who you would never guess were smoking crack. It destroyed all stereotypes.
* There were no crystal meth addicts while I was there. This was surprising. Then again, there were virtually no gay guys.
* I have never been in such a straight environment since I was in high school. This took some getting use to. I had to endure several comments like, "Did you see the tits on her?" Um, no.
* Guys who were loud and obnoxious in high school tend to grow up to be loud, obnoxious 50-year olds. My counselor told me this happens because they usually started using drugs in high school and never sought treatment until they were older in life, so their maturity level is still the same. Makes sense. We decided that my maturity level makes me about 25. And I am happy with that conclusion.
* I did my own independent Dbud survey at the 'hab and concluded that people named Chris, Don, Jim and Bill tend to be addicts. I realize those are common names but I met very few Mikes and Matts. So be warned. Women named Catherine (or the nicknames derived from that name) are cokeheads.
* I had to sign an agreement that I would not disturb or disclose the names of celebrities that are seeking treatment there. There was a "rock star" there before I arrived. He fronts one of the bands that the kids are listening to these days. There was also a local news anchor.
* While I was at the gym one day, I looked around at all the other people working out and thought, no one would ever believe all these people are addicts. They were executive vice presidents, Olympic athletes, school teachers, psychiatrists, pharmacists, commercial airline pilots, construction workers and, of course, several lawyers. Again, shattering myths.
* My roommates were all really cool. One of the guys was an adorable 35 year old former basketball player. When he saw Rob again with me, he asked why "my friend" was visiting again. I told him that he was my partner. He said, "Huh?" After several minutes of explaining, he said, "Oh, that's cool. Sorry for being so dumb about it." When I saw him again, he avoided me. I thought he was just a homophobe. He came into our room while I was sleeping. He laid down on his bed and said, "Sorry I was so aloof earlier; I just thought you were lying to me to be funny." I said, "Don't worry about it. No big deal." There was a long pause and he asked, "TJ, are you mad at me?" I was like, "No." He said, "You don't sound very convincing. Cuz if you are mad at me, I won't be able to sleep. I'm serious." I assured him I wasn't mad. It was all very cute. He finished his treatment the next day and left me the nicest note with all his contact information.
* I read two books while I was there, both by Augusten Burroughs. Both were excellent. If anyone wants to read what my life has kinda been like during this period, read Dry.
* I haven't been this clear headed in about 15 years. I always had at least a few drinks or drugs during a 2 week period - at least - during that time. It's an awesome feeling.
Anyway...what a whirlwind the past few months have been. I've decided to bypass the months of January and February from now on. My worst moments tend to occur then. Since I am kinda bear-like, I will hibernate instead.
Until then, I'm back and I'm on a roll. :)
Posted by durban bud at April 14, 2006 01:04 PM
Comments
I must've known that you were back--I dreamt about you and Rob last night. No! Not like that!! But I did make you a smoothie w/ strawberries, bananas, and oj. I made myself one w/ rum. Rob said he didn't want alcohol either, so I made him one like yours except I had run out of oj and substituted coke(a-cola) in his. Dreams are weird.
Welcome back!!!
Posted by: jeremy at April 15, 2006 04:53 PM
Good to see you back, bud.
Posted by: Tom at April 15, 2006 05:34 PM
Fantastic man!
BTW, I am a Chris and an addict. =)
Posted by: Chris. at April 15, 2006 08:36 PM
Yay! Welcome back to TJ! Glad that you're back!
Posted by: Bubala at April 15, 2006 08:59 PM
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back....
Posted by: Bob at April 15, 2006 10:06 PM
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Congrats on finding your new path and welcome home. You were missed.
Posted by: Steve in IAH at April 15, 2006 11:25 PM
Welcome home!
Posted by: Dumbek at April 16, 2006 10:50 AM
Welcome back 'bud.
"There were no crystal meth addicts while I was there. This was surprising. Then again, there were virtually no gay guys."
Both facts you stated about your facility were surprising to me too. Maybe (I hope) they're getting help at some other treatment center.
Posted by: jimbo at April 16, 2006 11:26 PM
cheers to you and your new start!
welcome back!
Posted by: jiminy at April 17, 2006 12:12 AM
I think you have heard it from me already but I am very glad you are back... but happier you feel better :-)
Posted by: TOS at April 17, 2006 08:18 AM
auwww tj.
i so wished we could go park in our old spot, drink coffee for hours and chat about all that you experienced there.
whatever with the bastetball player!!!
how sweet is he!!! i got teary reading this......how odd.
i'm glad we're still connected to each others lives.
your story will never get old for me......
keep writing.......can't wait to see what's next!
Posted by: Pam at April 17, 2006 09:17 AM
Glad to hear you are home and feeling so good. I was delighted to see you are back on this, my first visit to your blog since I knew you were going away. Stay strong and healthy and when I finally make it down to visit we can celebrate (drug and alcohol free of course). I'm thinking ice cream in the park and a ride on the merry-go-round. ;) Still luv ya, always will!!
-Stina
Posted by: stina at April 17, 2006 09:59 AM
Have you heard of the book "Chasing the Hawk?" I really like it...and it too is a memoir dealing with family and alcholism like Dry. You might like it.
--RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com
Posted by: RC of strangeculture at April 17, 2006 11:04 AM
Have missed you buddy! Glad you're back! If you're looking to hibernate, come join all the bears in SF. :)
Posted by: Matt at April 17, 2006 08:20 PM
welcome back, handsome! feel the love. go on, i insist.
Posted by: t.todd at April 17, 2006 11:10 PM
Good Luck...We all make it some day. I'm doing well, but just out spening 3 days in the hospital ammonia levels were high but got out Sunday. Give me a call or drop and e-mail(Bill with the screwed up face and a cane(804)556-6539
Posted by: Bill at April 18, 2006 06:07 AM
I'm glad you're back and feeling better. And I'm happy to read that you haven't lost your sense of humor!
Posted by: anger hangover at April 19, 2006 03:18 PM
Hey baby! welcome back bro and glad you are doing well - I knew you'd be ok Teej! As for Jan/Feb - come hybernate with me in LA anytime you want. The 80 degree sunshine will make you completely forget that it's winter..LOL
Posted by: Brian at April 20, 2006 12:52 PM
Hey buddy! Its me, Johnny(the "loner, goth guy" from rehab, for those who read the above entry). I miss you like crazy!!! Hope you are doing well.
Posted by: Johnny at April 23, 2006 11:29 AM
well done tj, and not an easy thing to accomplish either. much credit to you for making your journey so public. sorry we didn't have the chance to reconnect when i was in dc last week, but i'm sure you were pretty busy, maybe next trip. peace.
Posted by: john at April 23, 2006 04:13 PM
I can't quote any stats, but I don't think crystal is unique to gays. Cross-country truck drivers (likely to not be gay) have apparently been using it for years. My mother is always sending me articles about labs blowing up in Indiana. Even in my little hometown (Peru), it seems to be quite prevalent-- being made in Cole Porter's childhood home, in the attic of the Baptist church, and right out in a cornfield are some of my favorite stories.
All that aside, I really do applaud your accomplishment. Slaying the demons that control us, whether they live in a bottle or a-- White House, is always a good thing. Take care. David
Posted by: David at April 24, 2006 12:24 PM