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May 24, 2006
Herbie Goes Bananas
I watched American Idol for the first time this season. What a spectacle this show has become. I went to my friend "Herbie's" to watch it. He is OBSESSED. I've never seen anything quite like it. He even bought that Diana DiGarmo chick's CD.
At about 7:45 I was in the middle of telling a story, and he's like, "Is this gonna take much longer cuz Katherine McPhee is gonna start singing in about 15 minutes, and she is fierce." Um, okay, I'll abbreviate it for you.
At 8:00 he cranked the TV so loud I still have a ringing in my ear. When the American Idol theme started, he got up and did the "running man" dance. Please sit down, and maybe pop a Xanax.
Katherine McPhee was introduced.
Me: "I think she's really pret-"
Herbie: "SHHHHHHHH!"
Me: "I like this Cherry Tree son-"
Herbie: "SHHHHHHHH!"
He turns the TV up even louder.
Me: "Do you think that Taylor guy dyes his ha-"
Herbie: "SHHHHHHHH!"
Me: "I think I have a tumor."
Herbie: "SHHHHHHHH! I've so got McPhever!"
He raised his "Kat, YOUR Forever MY Girl" sign he made over his head.
Me: "Noone can see that."
Herbie: "I can, bitch."
Anyway, I don't think either one of the finalists are all that great. The guy who kept chanting "Soul Patrol" seems slightly retarded, and irritating, but he has a better voice. It's more unique. The girl has more star quality, and I could see her being in a video or something, but her voice isn't always consistent. I think I'd rather see her win cuz she's the underdog, and I like underdogs.
I feel bad for them cuz they're forced to sing these awful, sappy, "original" songs written for them. Both songs sounded like they were written by 6th graders. I've decided I'm going to submit a song for next year's competition. It's called "Pretty Rainbow." It goes something like this:
I see a rainbow over there
The birds are flying without a care
The Lord is telling me of who I'll be
I'm gonna make it most definitely
I'll grow some wings and fly so high
It will be hard to tell my trailer goodbye
My time has come, I hear my calling
Through the sky I'll soar, never falling
chorus:
The rainbow is pretty, the grass so green
I'm living out my American dream
I'll fly above the clouds, just like an eagle
I'm beautiful and wise, i ain't no seagull
and if I fall into a million little pieces
I'll look to the sky and thank my sweet Jesus
Fade out.
This is my CD cover:
I guarantee someone will sing a variation of my hit single next season. Just you wait. Everyone will be in tears.
At 8:45 Herbie frantically dialed his vote in, although voting wasn't even open yet. I really hope McPhee wins, or Herbie is definitely gonna go bananas.
Posted by durban bud at May 24, 2006 12:51 PM
Comments
I always knew you had a future in inspirational singing... Maybe you could get a job at that store in the mall that sells the posters with cats hanging off a tree limb with a caption saying "Determination" or "Hang in there"
LOL
Of course you left one thing out of your song - the accopanying ASL "lyrics" a la Cum Ba Yah.
Posted by: TOS at May 24, 2006 04:15 PM
Several weeks ago someone sang "Pay to Cum" by the Bad Brains.
Posted by: anon at May 25, 2006 07:51 AM
Hilarious! Yet very Idol like.
I'm fairly certain your song will be big on the 2007 graduation circuit.
Posted by: The Other Herb at May 26, 2006 06:27 AM
actually tj that is totally better than any AI song i've heard yet. are you sure you're not on their payroll? and i never got the mcpheever cuz i had my mcvaccination.
Posted by: john at May 26, 2006 10:39 PM