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May 30, 2006

Mating Season

Memorial Day weekend kicks off mating season in Rehoboth Beach. So I just got back from a 5-day stint there. I am sore. I didn't get a sunburn, but I did get a sand burn. The wind was-a-blowin' on the beach. Ow.

I went into the freezing cold ocean too. Even the kids were steering clear of the water cuz it was so damn cold, but, ya know, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go. A full bladder trumps all common sense. A cute 5-year old Asian girl pointed at me as I doggie-paddled out to a safe point and said, "Mommy, Look at da gay! Look at da crazy gay."

This year, I was very well behaved (unlike last year). I kept all my clothes on, and I remember EVERYTHING. This is a good sign.

Suitcase Sally played awesome host once again. Did I mention how much I love him? Yeah, I think I did last year, but it begs repeating. He makes good husband material, so if any of you would like to apply for this prestigious position, please send your resumes to prada_love_muffin@durbanbud.com.

The Swan and Testacles also joined in the holiday weekend festivities. I saw Bob and Rich, Clickboo & CynOp, and infamous hot tubbers: Tim & Donn. It was a pleasure seeing everyone on such a gorgeous weekend. The weather couldn't have been any better.

One of the highlights of the weekend was getting Suitcase Sally to step foot into a Friendly's. I've developed quite a sweet tooth lately (mainly due to my lack of alcohol intake), so I need to get my fix sometimes. I told him that Friendly's had partnered with Tiffany to serve their specialty sundaes out of Tiffany's fancy-schmancy champagne flutes, so he fell for it. And it was delicious. Better than crack. So if anyone wants to buy me a sundae with a cherry on top, I'm yours.

I ate so much. We went to my faves: The Cultured Pearl, Cafe Sole and Confucius. Confucius is a lovely, quaint Chinese restaurant. Rob and I popped in for a "romantic" dinner. They seated us at a two-seat little table by the window. As we were munching on the best Chinese food we've had in a long time, a woman spotted me from outside and began waving and pointing frantically. I got worried. I recognized her as a new friend I had met in rehab. I thought, "Oh shit, the bitch is SAUCED." She flung open the door, and darted to our table. Um, "Hi there." Turns out she wasn't sauced; she was just overly ecstatic cuz she just witnessed the horseshoe crabs mating ritual at Delaware Bay. Apparently, this is a spectacle to behold. I think I'll pass. Horseshoe crabs are harmless but they are the scariest looking things when flipped on their backs. I don't care how harmless they are; when they look like the baby aliens from those horror movies, keep that shit away from me.

After going out all weekend, we decided to stay in for our final evening. We watched a show called Dr. 90210, and I learned for the first time of a procedure called "labiaplasty." There is a reason I am a gay man, and that reason is called labiaplasty. Oh. My. God. I had no idea this was ever a problem for women. I am clueless. And we watched it after having a large Memorial Day feast. Ugh. Just google the word if you wanna see photos.

Now I'm back in DC. And back to the humidity. And summer hasn't even begun. I'm thinking I could live in Rehoboth. I could be some sort of tour guide for the annual mating season of the horseshoe crab. I'm seriously thinking about moving there. Seriously.

Posted by durban bud at May 30, 2006 01:59 PM

Comments

Posted by: TOS at May 30, 2006 08:10 PM

Posted by: jeremy at May 31, 2006 02:26 AM

Posted by: jimbo at May 31, 2006 05:38 PM

Posted by: Donn at June 2, 2006 05:49 PM

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