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May 09, 2006
The Hearing Slut-Boy
I took a sign language course in college. I went to RIT back in the day. RIT is also the home of the National Institute for the Deaf, so all my classes there included a signing interpreter. I was kinda fascinated by this unique language. After RIT, I tranferred to AU here in DC. They offered a course in signing; I needed an elective so I took it.
For some reason there was an influx of gay deaf boys in DC while I was taking the class. This provided me an opportunity to put my mad signing skillz to work (and maybe also score some deaf man-butt). I really didn't know that many phrases but I could always spell them out cuz I was the king of the alphabet. My limited signing vocabulary consisted of, "My name is TJ," "I go to college," "I like to drink beer," "Nice to meet you," "I enjoy making out," and "Yes, Jesus loves me, for the bible tells me so." That last one I learned when my parents forced me to go to sunday school as a wee young boy. It was also the one I would pull out if I wanted to clear the room.
Remember when gay guys referred to each other as "Mary"? Yeah, that annoyed me too, but a friend of mine introduced me to the "Whatever, Mary" signing technique (demonstrated right over there <---). I felt I needed to teach some of the deaf boys this new bitchy phrase so I showed them how to do it. They loved it.
I was at JR's one drunken evening. The place was packed with deaf boys. I could see a number of them signing "Whatever, Mary" all the way at the other side of the bar. They would try to speak this whenever they would do it but it ended up sounding like "Whaaa-ebahhh Ma-wee" which was followed by loud deaf laughing. Seeing a bunch of drunk, obnoxious gay guys doing this was priceless. I felt I had contributed to deaf culture. And this made me happy.
I would always close the evening by signing "Nice to meet you." They would usually giggle when I signed this. I didn't understand why.
I went to get coffee at a local cafe down the street. There were a couple deaf guys there signing so naturally I had to involve myself in their conversation. One of the guys was very attractive; the other one looked like Beaker from the Muppets. He's my favorite muppet. When this guy tried to speak I swear I could hear a high pitched, "Me-me-me-me-me."
Anyway, we signed for awhile and I closed with my infamous, "Nice to meet you." They began snapping their fingers wildly with the sign for "No!" Huh? What did I do wrong? They put their two index fingers together and said, "This means meet." They then put their index and middle fingers together (which is what I always did) and said, "This means fuck." Uh-oh. Beaker reprimanded, "You said, 'It was nice to fuck you.'" I got bright red. They couldn't stop laughing. But I could. So basically I was telling all the gay deaf boys in DC that it was nice to fuck them. How lovely. I was now known as the hearing slut-boy. I felt so dirty. I stopped involving myself in signing conversations after that.
In deaf culture the difference between meeting someone and fucking them is one finger. Something to remember.
Posted by durban bud at May 9, 2006 08:23 AM
Comments
Great post ! Funny !
Posted by: kinny at May 9, 2006 10:01 AM
I'm cracking up. Damn you could have a lot of explaining to do...
Posted by: Carl at May 9, 2006 10:26 AM
OMG---thats too damn funny!! Nice to fuck you too TJ! LMAO---thats priceless! Glad to have you back buddy--you were missed!! BTW--I'm a make out guy too--WOOF!!
Posted by: Tod at May 9, 2006 05:23 PM
Beaker has always been my favorite muppet too. Bunson Honeydew is pretty funny too... that show was waaaay ahead of its time.
Posted by: TOS at May 9, 2006 06:51 PM
I thought meeting and fucking were always separated by just one finger . . .
In other news, the deaf queers have moved on to "Whatever Oprah Winfrey, Your Mama Works at MacDonald's". If I ever meet you in person I'll demonstrate, but I'm sure you can figure it out.
Posted by: jeremy at May 10, 2006 04:12 AM
'the difference between meeting and fucking in the deaf community' sounds about as small as that difference is in the gay community, too, dontcha think? one of my best boys has always referred to the first hookup (often after just meeting) as 'the gay handshake'. our people just have our own ways, don't we?
on a related note, i heart tj.
Posted by: t.todd at May 10, 2006 04:58 AM
haha, that's hilarious. I've had moments like that lol.
Posted by: scott at April 7, 2008 08:00 PM