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June 27, 2006
Big Love
I saw one of the most beautiful things the other day; two morbidly obese women were holding hands walking down the street. I was happy they found each other. I realize their love may be cut short by diabetes or heart disease, but at least they do have this time together.
It goes to show there is someone for everyone. I do believe in the whole soulmate idea. I believe some of us do go through many soul-aquaintances for a period of time, but the real soulmate is out there, and not all of us find them unfortunately, but if you're lucky enough to find them, you will know.
I see a lot of people desperately searching to find "the one". I'm not sure it works that way. I think it happens more naturally, and without much effort.
I also see some people become so bitter and jaded about not having a partner; this negative aura breeds through their relationships with others; they may not think it shows, but it really does, and I'm sure it turns people away.
We all have baggage, all of us, and relationships are fucking hard sometimes, but it's best to check the biggest baggage before boarding the plane of love. Obviously, some of that baggage will be brought into a relationship, so you'll need to stow it neatly in the overhead compartment, and check on it periodically to make sure it hasn't shifted into a worse place. Trust me, I know this firsthand.
The bottom line is we all have someone out there who fits us like a glove. In the meantime, relax, remove resentments, take your anti-bitter pills, enjoy life and let things happen. And when it does happen, you will absolutely know.
Posted by durban bud at June 27, 2006 11:01 AM
Comments
I'm trying to consolidate my baggage into just one carry-on item. I still need special pre-boarding assistance from time to time. Well...most of the time, actually.
Posted by: anger hangover at June 27, 2006 06:36 PM
while i appreciate your romanticism, durb, i've gotta say that, well, maybe there's not a soulmate for everyone. maybe some people are just meant to be alone. i mean, i've been essentially single for 6 years and i don't foresee that changing anytime in the future. i'm tired of feeling like coupled people see this as a deficiency. its just the way i live. i'm not bitter about it and i don't actively seek it, but that doesn't make me less than, does it?
Posted by: jeremy at June 28, 2006 02:16 AM
Yes, it makes you less than. Of course not! But if you did meet someone you were completely compatible with in a year or 5 years or 20 years, would you turn that person away because you've decided you just want to be alone? If you're not bitter and you're not desperately trying to make something happen because you just can't be alone, then you're doing exactly what I said; you're just letting things happen, and moving along in life, and if it means you're alone for an extended period, that's fine.
I do believe though that there's a guy out there who feels the same as you, but he also wants to take care of you and bake you chocolate chip cookies and make sweet love to you on a regular basis. Maybe you guys will meet, and maybe you won't.
And remember, just because someone is coupled doesn't mean they're happy or that they are with their soulmate; they are simply just coasting along.
Posted by: durban bud at June 28, 2006 05:18 AM
I love the chocolate chip cookies and the sweet love part... somehow it is the magic formula to erasing all the crazy ex-boyfriends, closetd years, rainy days etc.... sigh :-)
Posted by: TOS at June 28, 2006 08:06 AM
Maybe one of them was blind and being led by the other? : )
nah nice post makes me remember I decided the same thing last year. Thanks
Posted by: tim at June 28, 2006 09:49 AM
awww tj.....
wisdom is so attractive on you.
who knew....;)
i agree. i also am starting to think that that becomes closer when the new tune in my head hears " it will when it's time" instead of ..."i hope it happens".
great writing piece....thanks for the reminder.
xoxox
Posted by: pam at June 28, 2006 09:59 AM
Great thoughts which I agree about. I walked into the Double L in Rehoboth and met the man I'd knew I'd grow old with and he felt exactly the same when he met me. That was 6 years ago and yeah the baggage comes dislodged and gets thrown across the cabin, but we both work on getting it secured. Relationships are not easy, they can get old and stale, but it's worth keeping it going. As you age together your priorities change and it is something that bonds us tighter together. I would not trade it or him for anyone.
Posted by: Donn at June 28, 2006 01:16 PM
Pam - you forgot to remind tj to check his myspace :-P
Posted by: TOS at June 28, 2006 01:48 PM
'Morbidly Obese Woman'? Bitch, that was ME!!! I'll cut you for that.
Seriously, I did find my Dick Mate once. A Dick Mate, like a life mate, is the one whose dick fits perfectly up your butt. You're REALLY lucky if your dick mate is also your soul mate, but the likelihood of that is almost statistically impossible. Anyway, my dick mate's name is Keith, fyi.
An old organic cattle farmer woman told me once, "It's OK to have your idea of a soulmate or ideal man, but be ready to accept 75% of that idea, and deal with the rest." Words to grow on.
But I do not believe in a One. I think there is a number of optimal people with whom you can best get along with.
Posted by: jimbo at June 28, 2006 02:47 PM