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July 27, 2006
Is There Drama In Heaven?
Heaven is a wonderful belief; we get to see all the people who died before us that we miss. But what do we do after we enter?
I guess we get to "catch up" with our loved ones, but then what? Do we just walk around endlessly smiling at one another? Do we play shuffleboard? Trivial Pursuit? Twister? Do we work? Do we gossip? Do we get to masturbate? Do we poop? What the hell do we do? Think about it.
There would be like, a trillion people in heaven, if not more. If there are a trillion people, there must be some drama.
I know I would stalk Kurt Cobain, Thomas Jefferson, and Dana Plato (from Different Strokes) for awhile, but would I get annoyed because so many other people are trying to monopolize their time? Would I even attempt to speak to Jesus, or is he too busy running from the divine paparazzi?
Do we become like ghosts or spirits, and head back to planet earth to watch over the ones we love? I would probably do that for like, a day, and then I would scope out all the people having sex so I could watch for days. But if I'm thinking that, all the other ghosts are thinking that, so that means billions of people are watching us all have hot sex. The idea is kinda creepy.
Do we speak to the other ghosts who are looking over the same person that we are? If so, do we have disagreements over the proper haunting technique? If we don't interact with other ghosts, does our spiritual existence become lonely? Do we get to complain to God if one of the other ghosts is bugging us?
And most importantly, what would we wear? Would we wear all white outfits like this guy, or would we wear what we died in, or would we be all naked?
An eternity is a very long time; I don't want to live an eternity. I think I would get really bored. In fact, after about a month of "catching up" with my relatives, I would be ready to kill myself. Can I do that there?
Maybe heaven is a poorly thought out illusion to comfort our fears about death. It's a nice idea, but details matter.
It probably doesn't matter for me, since I'll be in hell for all the butt sex I've had, but if, by chance, I do enter heaven, I need these questions answered before I sign up.
Posted by durban bud at July 27, 2006 08:27 AM
Comments
Actually I'd be more worried about what age you are when you get there. I sure as hell don't want to be 15 again. I'm pretty sure it's a figment of our puny little minds.
If god isn't doing shit when you ask him to do stuff now, what makes you think he'll do anything if you're dead? ;-)
Posted by: Carl at July 27, 2006 01:48 PM
I told Suitecase Sally that it wouldn't be too long before that pic surfaced again! He will rue the day he bought that shirt!
Posted by: TOS at July 27, 2006 03:26 PM
Maybe as gay folks we have our own private hell .. err.. heaven. You know ... Velvet on the weekends, JR's, Green Latern, etc. for happy hour during the week.
Think outside the box ...
Posted by: Steve in IAH at July 27, 2006 10:13 PM
Death scares me a lot more now than when I was younger. I think that is why I'm fascinated by all the Forensic Files and Cold Case shows on Court TV (just like you!) Death is senseless and that is a scary thing to live with.
I just try and be a good person and hope that's enough for the ever after...or at least to a groovy bed in purgatory.
Posted by: matt at July 28, 2006 12:00 PM