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July 08, 2006
Things You Don't Really Need to Know About Me
* I've never seen an episode of Law & Order or any of its spinoffs, although I have deliberately caught glimpses of Chris Meloni from time to time.
* I've never seen an episode of CSI or any of its spinoffs.
* I've probably seen all the episodes of Forensic Files.
* When I was little, I used to pretend I was Robin from Batman. I took the red shirt off my Winnie the Pooh doll to use as my Robin shirt. I also had a mask.
* For about 3 years in a row, I dressed as a witch for Halloween. The witch hat was attached to long blonde hair. My parents got me this costume, so basically they dressed me in drag as a child.
* I was selected by my 4th grade class to give a speech in front of the school about the release of the Iran hostages. My sister was selected by her 6th grade class to also deliver a speech. The media was there filming the event. My sister was featured on the local news; I was not. I'm still bitter.
* I like almost every type of food except crabs and Ethiopian cuisine. I'm not a picky eater.
* I don't have any allergies that I know of.
* I drink too much caffeine.
* I have a strange fascination for washing machines. Whenever my mom would do a load, she would prop me on top of the machine so I could watch the whole event. I still find myself watching until all the clothes have been sucked down and are nice and wet.
* I first had sex with a dude when I was 20. It was lame.
* I used to be very anti-drug in school. I stormed out on several occasions when my friends decided to partake in illegal substances.
* I've been in two fist fights in my life. One of them was with a guy who was constantly bullying me. I totally kicked both their asses. I rule.
* I think Steve Carell from The Office is kinda hot, although he could probably fuck a small goat with that nose.
* I appear calm, but my mind is usually racing in a million different directions.
* I used to be roommates with a gay republican. He was a secret service cop. He took me target shooting once with his 9mm. I was a good shot. That was the only time I've ever used a gun.
* This same roommate took me on a private tour of the White House. I got to hold Socks, the Clinton's cat.
* I had a blanket I used to take everywhere when I was a kid. My mom still has it.
* My parents have created a large collage of different photos of family and friends through the years on a wall in their home. All of the photos surround two enormous large high school senior portraits of me and my sister. You have never seen terror until you have seen a large image of yourself with a mullet for everyone to see.
* My first job was at an ice cream place. It lasted two weeks. I got in trouble for constantly sticking my fingers in the cream.
* I had the coolest fat pussy when I was growing up. I was the only one who gave her any attention. She beat up several dogs who dared to enter our home. And she had no claws.
* My cat was black. One year, I dyed her tail blonde.
* My first concert was The Police with A Flock of Seagulls & The Fixx. My dad took me.
* I'm terrible at getting back to people who have tried to contact me.
* The telephone ringing is one of my least favorite sounds.
* I used to have a waterbed. I totally had sex on it.
* I played soccer in high school. Well, I mostly watched from the bench.
* I used to play the drums.
* I own a pair of leather chaps. And a harness.
* I changed my major 4 times in college. I still don't know what I really want to do.
* I'm a huge flirt.
* My dad took me several times to see the Buffalo Bills play. I was obsessed with football for a few years.
* My parents took me to a religious choral concert at some church. When it was over, I asked one of the 50 singers for their autograph.
* I miss Beavis & Butthead.
* I was in the cub scouts.
* I find cigarette smoking disgusting.
* Spring is my favorite season. Turn, turn, turn.
* I don't have a car. I used to, but I don't really need one anymore. Walking or cabs are best for me.
* I like Eminem. I like Moby too.
* I wrote all of this while watching a terrible movie called "Failure to Launch." What a piece of crap.
* I hate stupid movies.
Posted by durban bud at July 8, 2006 09:21 PM
Comments
Awww...I remember your kitty....Chammie, and how close you were to her. You should get a cat, or two.
Posted by: Kinny at July 9, 2006 09:17 AM
Please don't ever associate you and big pussies again... ewwwwwwww LOL
You should add: "TOS and I once destroyed a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken after dreaming about it for weeks - we haven't done so since..."
Posted by: TOS at July 9, 2006 08:40 PM
1. you loved that cat. i remember your mom calling me, to call you to be with you when she passed. what was the song you used to sing to her? It was funny.
2. it's a good thing you don't have a car or drive.... :)
Posted by: pam at July 10, 2006 09:26 AM
I remember when you dipped Chammie's tail in bleach to make it white. ha ha
Mullet or no mullet, you were always a cutie. :)
Posted by: reenie at July 10, 2006 10:29 AM
You and I share a love for Forensic Files. Did you see the new FF Advanced? It's like Pop Up Video meets FF. It's awesome!
I think Steve Carrell is hot too, btw...
Posted by: matt at July 10, 2006 10:56 AM
I too think Steve Carell from The Office is kinda hot.
Posted by: jimbo at July 10, 2006 05:27 PM
Pam:
I did not sing songs to my cat.
Reenie:
For the record, I didn't stick her tail in bleach; that would be too cruel. I simply applied the same frosting treatment my mom used for her hair. I lathered it on, applied some foil, and made her wait until it was thoroughly set.
Also, thanks, but my mullet was frightening.
Matt:
Is FF Advanced a new Raging Stallion flick? Actually I have seen it and like it.
Posted by: durban bud at July 11, 2006 09:20 AM