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September 11, 2006
Comcast Sux Donkey Dick
*May not be safe for work*
We received a letter from Comcast informing us that they are no longer offering HBO on their basic cable system, so we need to upgrade to digital cable in order to continue receiving it. Okay, fine, we'll upgrade. Cha-ching for them. We have the equipment for it, plus it's time to get better picture quality.
A member of 50 Cent's entourage shows up last Thursday to install our new "box".
"Do you want me to hook it up?" he asks as he enters my home.
"Um, yeah. That would be mighty helpful."
He unhooks our cable and tries to install the new box to our bitchin' plasma TV.
"This ain't gonna work."
"Why not?"
"Cuz this don't have the right input; but the HD box do. If you get the HD box, it'll work."
"We already have an HD tuner."
"You have to have a Comcast HD tuner."
"Why?"
"That's just the way it is."
"How much more is their HD box?"
"About 5 dollar a month."
"Okay, we'll get the HD box." Cha-ching.
"I don't have an HD box in my truck; I can come back first thing tomorrow to hook it up."
"Okay, fine." I'm such a pushover sometimes.
He attempts to hook our original cable back up.
"It ain't workin'. I hooked it up exactly like it was before."
Um, no you didn't cuz it was working fine before you showed up. At that point, I just wanted him out of my home. I can live without the TV working for a day. I think. It's always weird when strangers are in your personal space. And I had an enormous fear that one of my butt-sex pornos was gonna show up as he moved some of my DVDs to access the equipment.
Next day, he doesn't show up on time. I call his cell. He's on his way. Great.
He brings in the new box along with another member of 50 Cent's entourage, G-Murda.
"He's training with me."
He hooks up the new box. It doesn't work. He spends an hour trying to get it to work. G-Murda is just sitting there with his head in his hands.
"I don't know why it won't work. I've tried everything."
"Can you call someone else who might be able to fix it?"
"I've hooked up a million of these things. I'm one of the head techs. If I can't do it, they can't either."
He spends another hour trying to hook back up our original cable. G-Murda is still sitting there, head in hands.
"Well, how are you going to fix this?"
"I'll call my supervisor, and see what we can do."
"You are gonna come back and fix this today, right?"
"Yeah, I'll call you after I speak to my supervisor."
I know that will be the last time I see or hear from him.
I call him at 3:00 & 4:00 & 5:00 & 6:00 & 7:00. No word. Nothing. By 8:00, I'm fuming. It takes a lot to get me pissed off. I like to think I'm pretty mellow and non-confrontational. I called customer service and went off. I asked to speak to a supervisor. The supervisor tells me they will send someone out next Wednesday to fix it. "Uh, wrong ansa! It needs to be hooked up now! This whole thing started because of you guys. You told us we couldn't get HBO unless we got digital. Being whores for HBO, we need it now! Plus, you're now getting more money from us! Fix it!"
"We're sorry, sir." He tries to instruct me how to hook back up our original cable box. "Yeah, buddy. This ain't gonna work." "Okay, call me around noon tomorrow and I'll see what I can do." He gives me a direct line number.
I call the direct line number at noon. It rings and rings. And rings. No answer. Nothing.
I call the main customer service number. I wait on hold for 20 minutes.
Someone answers, "Thanyafocallcomca, howhelu."
"What?"
"Thanyafocallcomca, howhelu."
"Is this Comcast?"
"Mmmmmhmmmmm."
It appears Shirley Q Liquor has gotten a job at Comcast.
"I'm trying to reach Cesar at extension 2188. By the way, how you durrin'?"
"Huh?"
"Nevermind."
"Please hold."
Another 20 minutes go by.
Someone answers, "Thanyafocallcomca, howhelu."
"I'm waiting to be transferred to extension 2188!"
"Please hold."
"No, I don't wa-"
The line is disconnected. Mother. Fuckers.
I call back. The woman informs me that she will "email the supervisor."
I am at the mercy of these dickwads.
Finally, the supervisor calls me back and tells me the tech supervisor will call me to schedule a time to stop by. How many fucking supervisors are there?
I'm out of options. I have no recourse.
Needless to say, that is the last time I have heard from anyone. I have a Comcast HD box here that won't work. And no cable for the past 4 days.
I am going to switch to DirecTV or Dish. This is where I need your help. Which one is better???
Posted by durban bud at September 11, 2006 02:53 PM
Comments
Sounds like a fucking nightmare but I wouldn't go switching to satillite tv. you wont be able to watch anything if u have bad rain or snow. Satillite sucks. I'd try comcast again, unfortunately.
Posted by: Andrew at September 11, 2006 05:11 PM
I'm still with Comcast. They haven't fucked me that bad yet. Question -- did they bring the HD cable/cord with them when they brought you the HD box? According to the guys who sold us our plasma, I was told we needed the HD cord to connect the HD cable box to the plasma. Don't know if that helps you at all, but thought I should share. Of course, we haven't upgraded to the HD box yet (stil have regular digital cable) but we've been thinking of upgrading -- although we heard it was free so long as your TV had a HD tuner and you just needed a "compatible" box or some crap like that. Then again, the person who said its free has Cablevision, and they probably don't suck as bad.
Posted by: stina at September 11, 2006 05:32 PM
Just one typo: he couldn't have mustered the "th" sound in they.
I think this is one of the reasons no one who has worked for a big corp in the region can win elected office. We know some parts of DC gov't are still awful, but we can also imagine it being SO much worse.
Posted by: carl at September 11, 2006 09:01 PM
Comcast blows! Fortunately, we have a choice of cable companies where we live so we are not stuck with Com-crap.
Posted by: Bubala at September 11, 2006 09:43 PM
What about Starpower?
I used to have cable (living on the Hill then, living on the Hill now (well, actually what the dimwads call Hill East - I don't see the difference except more black people live in my neighborhood than west of 14th St.)). I think it was called DC Cable or something. I'd be willing to bet the same people who worked for the cable company then work at Comcast. I won't bore you with the details but it sucked. Sounds like it still does...
I have rabbit ears. Why pay $50 a month for shit? And bad service for shit?
Posted by: nocable at September 11, 2006 10:06 PM
Comcast is evil.
http://dumbek.blogspot.com/2006/06/comcast-is-beast.html
I emailed the Mont. Co. Government's Office of Cable Affairs (or whatever it's called) about my experience. Within a matter of hours I had someone from Comcast calling me, apologizing profusely and finally agreeing to give me a full MONTH's credit for making me wait all day. Maybe DC has a similar office?
We're switching to DirecTV in a month or so. Everyone I know that has it swears by it. Comcast can suck it.
Posted by: Dumbek at September 11, 2006 10:35 PM
Direct TV all the way. In 4 years it has only gone out once maybe twice never for more than an hour or so max.
Posted by: Ira aka suitcase sally at September 12, 2006 01:02 AM
Glad I got a good laugh at your expense. It sounds so bad I'm on the floor rolling! Move to Virginia. I told them when they were coming to my house, and they did. I am never put on hold, and they always respond fast!
And on yeah... nix the digital dish idea unless you have a backyard to hide it in. Looks ghetto on a balcony or deck. The weather screws with it too.
Posted by: Thomas at September 12, 2006 02:02 AM
When I moved to the burbs, we switched to RCN. LOVE them! Comcast gave me a similar run-around and kept making me call back 3 times to get an appt. to set-up service. RCN gave me next day service. I have phone, internet, and cable for $99 a month. The cable package includes the HD service and has Showtime, Movie Channel, Cinemax, and Starz thrown in for free! I think the HD tuner is maybe $4 more a month to rent.
Posted by: Brian at September 12, 2006 07:29 AM
We love "Direct TV"
Posted by: Warren and Steve at September 12, 2006 08:31 AM
We have DirecTV and are perfectly happy with it. It's owned by the Great Satan From The South (Rupert Murdoch), but everything seems to be owned by one Great Satan or Another.
Plus, it's a great weather indicator, when we lose the TV signal, it's going to rain very, very, very badly.
Posted by: Gay Veteran at September 12, 2006 08:58 AM
Yes, Comcast sucks.
Posted by: Aaron at September 12, 2006 09:30 AM
Go with DirecTV. In the 4 years we've had it, it's been out perhaps only once, and then only for a couple of hours. A bonus to DirecTV is the XM Radio channels for no additional cost.
Posted by: Todd at September 12, 2006 09:31 AM
If you can get DirectTV, I'd recommend trying that.
Otherwise, Comcast isn't bad... But you can't depend on their techs to know anything. I walked mine through the whole process, and was able to connect my TV using an HDMI cable, which handles both HD picture AND sound. The tech was like, "cool!" :)
The SD box would have been able to work on your Plasma TV as only as the Plasma TV had the right inputs and you had the right cables (most likely you needed S-Video). The DC techs only carry coax, which many TVs do not have.
Next time, invite me over and I'll take care of it. :)
dBud: I may take you up on that offer! :)
Posted by: tom at September 12, 2006 11:47 AM
I'm biased because my company started the whole DIRECTV satellite TV thing, and my stock options are still with them, but honestly we love it. I've got two Tivo receivers (one HiDef) and I cannot live without it. We've had it for over 4 years and have very seldomly ever lost signal, it has to be a very severe storm.
dBud: Really? Perhaps you have some sway with them? I would really love it for free. Can you work it for me? I will reward you.
Posted by: Donn at September 12, 2006 12:04 PM
Comcast service sounds like Washington Gas service. You can come over to watch cable at my house, especially on Project Runway night.
Posted by: jimbo at September 12, 2006 02:33 PM
It's been 9 months. We're still waiting for Comcast to fix the nightmare they created at our house.
Posted by: snapperboy at September 12, 2006 09:49 PM
Starpower (now RCN) sucks! Trust me on that one - i blogged about my horrid experience but am too tired to find it...
Posted by: TOS at September 12, 2006 10:06 PM
Is RCN an option?
Posted by: brian at September 12, 2006 10:22 PM
Yes - comcast sucks..
I went with Direct TV about a year ago - and picture is great and I love it - BUT- make sure you have a clear view of the satellite, because that is why folks loose their signal. Also, since you have want HD - the 5-LNB satellite dish is a fucking monster. If it cannot be secured by a post or with extra bolts on your house - I would not bother. Good Luck.
Posted by: Steve at September 13, 2006 12:53 PM
I just want FiOS because of how much Comcast blows! It's taken a week to get the procession of dumb ass techs that have shown up to install a stupid cable card. Is it working? Of course not. Just got off the phone with an idiot customer service rep who had the stones to claim that thier cable cards don't work with the TiVo HD.
How does one company find so many idiots to work for them? Forget the lawyers, let's start with Comcast idiots!
Posted by: Tom at October 9, 2007 07:40 PM
lol best comedy of the year
Posted by: comcast hater at October 22, 2007 03:08 PM
LOL My favorite parts.....
A member of 50 Cent's entourage shows up last Thursday to install our new "box".
"Do you want me to hook it up?" he asks as he enters my home.
He brings in the new box along with another member of 50 Cent's entourage, G-Murda.
I call the main customer service number. I wait on hold for 20 minutes.
Someone answers, "Thanyafocallcomca, howhelu."
"What?"
"Thanyafocallcomca, howhelu."
"Is this Comcast?"
"Mmmmmhmmmmm."
ALL OF THIS IS SOO TRU
GREAT POST
Posted by: Kyle at June 26, 2008 03:07 AM
Comcast Sucks DICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
You Fucking Fuckersssssssssssssssssss
DICKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs
Posted by: Me at July 14, 2008 07:15 PM