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September 29, 2006
Cool Fags
We live in the back of a row house on the first and second floor. So I guess we live in the house's ass. We are surrounded by the asses of other houses from a parallel street. Many of these houses have decks on their second levels.
Many a time I have found myself wandering around my second level late at night wearing only my boxers. No big deal, right? Well it is a big deal when you realize your neighbors are hosting a family party with children on their deck, and you're sporting a semi-erect penis. Obviously, when it's dark out and the lights are on, you can see what's happening in here, but it's hard for me to see what's happening out there.
I just came upstairs to watch some telly in the peace and quiet. I opened a window to cool off the place, only to hear the loud cackling of a nearby party. Great. They have now all seen my bizness.
Drunk Girl was at the party, screaming and yelling things like, "OMG, shut up! Nuh-uh, you shut up!" She sees me. I hide.
Not realizing I can hear EVERYTHING now, I hear her giggle and say, "Who livthhhhs over thhhhere?" Neighbor Boy says, "A couple gay guys." "OMG thhhere fagthhhhhhhs?" This is followed by a few "Shhhhhhh's." It gets real quiet. Neighbor Boy says, "Yeah, but they're cool fags."
Gee, thanks!
I walk back to the window and wave enthusiastically to the party goers; then I lick my hand and blow them a big, wet, french kiss.
I'm such a bad ass. I close the window slightly, and turn on the TV. It is now peaceful. Drunk Girl has shut her trap. For now.
Update: It's after midnight, and Drunk Girl is screaming louder than before. She's shouting to strangers that pass by the party. Ugh. I hate her.
Finish your Zima and go back to Virginia, betch.
Update II: It's after 3:00pm; I just woke up. Drunk Girl kept me up late. I woke up at 9:00am, but saw that it was raining, so I went back to sleep. I can do that, cuz I'm a cool fag.
We're now heading to Frederick, MD to go to a big, gay party hosted by these cool fags; so Drunk Girl will not be there, but I'm sure there will be plenty of Drunk Gurls. I'll take my camera for documentation. See ya, wouldn't want to be ya!
Posted by durban bud at September 29, 2006 11:23 PM
Comments
I live on a second floor apartment and have a 10'x8' window that looks right onto an elevated subway line. I have totally been pinned under a gentleman and made eye contact with a commuter on a train stopped infront of chez moi. I'm bad about remembering to pull the curtains ;)
There's no excuse for retarded straight girls... you shuld consider a ball-gag next time.
Posted by: habitat67 at September 30, 2006 09:33 AM
I'm sure the ass is a very cute ass.
Posted by: Glenn at September 30, 2006 10:51 AM
HEY HEY!
She doesn't live in Virginia!
Sounds like Maryland trash to me!
Posted by: Thomas at September 30, 2006 10:55 AM
And why were you semi-erect? Maybe you shouldn't have Jake Dakota on your couch, waiting for you upstairs.
I hate drunk girl. Now that I've conquered most of my "gay throwing", I'd be tempted to pitch small objects her way.
dBud: You've conquered your gay throwing? Please show me.
Drunk Girl finally shut up around 3am; I think she may have fallen off the deck. Poor, pathetic thing.
Posted by: carl at September 30, 2006 12:46 PM
Well if you think that is bad there were about 150 drunk or cracked people from Merrland making merriment, picking fights and just all out being GHETTO in my neighborhood last night between 2 and 3:30am - I was not happy, that crap woke me up and was so loud I called 311 and finally some flashing lights drove by a couple minutes later and then finally all that ghetto trash went back to PG county...
Posted by: TOS at September 30, 2006 01:31 PM
u should have asked them if they like what they saw. then u should have said. i still do gurls too. lol
Posted by: robert at September 30, 2006 10:57 PM
Umm - Hellooo - I live in Frederick, MD and have yet to meet any fags, much less a cool fag..! Damn brother - help this fag out!
Posted by: Steve at October 3, 2006 12:08 PM