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October 22, 2006
Manhunt Troll
I got my hair did by an angertwink today. I've given up on going to fancy-schmancy places to get a haircut. Usually I'm just getting what little is left buzzed, so why pay $30 when I can get it done for half. So I went to the Hair Cuttery.
I always give a fake name, cuz it's always fun to watch people's expressions when they page me. Today I was Robocop. Since the place is usually filled with old women, most of them don't get the joke; but I do, and if I can make myself smile on the inside then I'm all kinds of happy on the outside. Only they fucked it up. I hear "Rob" over the speaker. A bunch of us are looking around at each other. Another "Rob". No response. "Is there a Rob Ocop here?" Ugh. "Oh, I guess that's me. Sorry."
A light-skinned, black angertwink motions for me to follow him. He looks to be all of twenty years-old and weighs about 100 pounds, yet is taller than me. He is not smiling. He is wearing lip gloss.
"Your name's not Robocop, is it?" "No, don't be silly." "So what's your real name?" I hear "Too Shy" playing in the background. "It's...uh...Limahl." "Limahl?" "Yep." "That's a cute name." "Thank you." Angertwink smiles, barely.
As I'm getting my hair did, a few other customers are debating the merits of Flavor of Love 2.
"I heard Delishis on the radio, and she sez she's single now. Who in da hail would go on a show to meet sum body?"
"Flav look like a troll. Would you wanna marry dat troll? Hail no!"
"You couldn't pay me enough money to be on dat show. Why would you want to emberse yourself like dat. Hail no!"
So this conversation got me thinkin' about my Halloween costume.
Looks like the majority of you suggested the Count Chocula costume. I looked at the costume details more closely and decided against it. I think I would look less like Count Chocula, and more like Scatman. Plus, I really would like to cover up my face.
Mr. Potato Head was my next choice, but after reading how it would be shipped, I vetoed it. I would look less like a potato, and more like a prune.
So I looked around at other costumes and found one I really like, a troll. I placed an order for my troll costume. I will be adding my own personal touch, of course.
I will be going as a Manhunt or gay.com troll. Think Larry Craig cruising online. Stay tuned.
Update: I just found out my order is sold out, so I don't know what I'ma gonna be now.
Posted by durban bud at October 22, 2006 11:07 PM
Comments
"Limahl" as in Kajagoogoo and "The Neverending Story"?!?!
With that name, how could a guy not turn into an angertwink?
dBud: "Too Shy" was playing on the radio there, so that's the first thing that popped into my head. And he was in angertwink mode before I uttered a single word.
Posted by: Chris at October 23, 2006 12:44 AM
TJ, you are DC's own "Girls Behaving Badly". As a manhunt troll you'll need a few "special characteristics" and one redeeming feature. Get an orange hankie and you'll be set.
So what do you call a really bitter, angry, furry guy?
He would be called a BitterBear.
Posted by: carl at October 23, 2006 01:12 AM
Hmmmm, you'll need a sign saying something like "39-year-old (but really 48), GWM, no fats or fems, seeks hung 18-22 year old..."
Posted by: homer at October 23, 2006 11:37 AM
Now that you've experienced angertwinks you're ready to experience HomOverload:
http://myoclonus.blogspot.com/2005/04/homoverload-somewhat-less-amusing.html
Posted by: Chris at October 23, 2006 01:12 PM
Troll: hot.
If you want to avoid the angertwink experience at Hair Cuttery, ask for Tina. She's very nice and will give you a 'do that will make men want to hump you [more].
Posted by: jimbo at October 23, 2006 02:06 PM
Funny! Sounds like a fun costume. You could make it really genuine by setting up an actual Manhunt profile complete with pics of you in your troll costume. Then, you could take a laptop with you and keep a browser window open with your Manhunt profile on it. On second thought, that sounds like a whole lotta work for nothing... but, it would still be a funny profile!
Posted by: Bubala at October 23, 2006 03:27 PM
You have such a handsome face why do you want to cover it up?
Posted by: Bald Monkey at October 23, 2006 09:02 PM
Just make sure you post pictures of yourself in that 5-foot high bright orange hair. It could be a bit chilly to be completely nude in October though.
Posted by: Brian at October 24, 2006 10:35 AM
Well... what did you settle on? Anything yet?
Posted by: David at October 24, 2006 01:50 PM