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October 18, 2006
Michael's Thing
This NYC bar rag was recently found in Rob's deceased great uncle's belongings. It's from 1975. I guess it's similar to Metro Weekly here in DC or HX in NYC, only it cost 75 cents.
That cover shot is so sex-ay, and proves that gayface existed back then as well.
I have the utmost respect for people who were out in the 70's and even the 80's; and people out before the 70's deserve to have their own star on the Stonewall Walk of Fame.
Living in my own contemporary secluded gay world, it's hard to imagine what life was like during that time. Judging from the documentaries and movies I've seen, it still was a good time; but the homophobia must have been even more difficult to deal with than it is now-a-days.
My first gay experience happened in 1991. I put a personal ad in one of these types of bar rags in Rochester, NY. I remember that day specifically cuz Terminator 2 was just opening, and I was all excited about it.
I made a date with some guy who answered my ad. I was not out so I was extremely nervous. I agreed to meet him in the parking lot of a McDonald's. That should have been a foreshadowing of what was to come.
I drove into the lot to find a really skinny guy who resembled Alan Jackson, complete with a mullet. I was mortified. He certainly was no Happy Meal. Ba-da-boom.
I was such a scared little closet case; I wouldn't get out of the car. I noticed he had an earring! This was certain to identify him as gay, and me by association. I told him to get in my car, and we would decide what to do as we drove around. I knew I would not be seen in public with this guy, for fear of being discovered.
We drove and drove and drove. Poor guy. He suggested a number of places to go, but I wouldn't budge.
Despite not being attracted to him, I wanted to experience being with another guy. I drove to a secluded golf course parking lot. We talked for a long time, and got along very well.
It was getting dark, so I had to make my move. I drove down an even more secluded dirt road by the golf course, way, way back near the woods. That's where we messed around. For the record, the experience was very vanilla; there were no butts involved.
As we finished the deal, I noticed some flashing lights in the rear view mirror. Oh. My. God! Here we are in the middle of nowhere, and a fucking cop car is pulling up behind us. This does not look good.
The cop shines the light in the car, obviously looking for drugs. "What's going on here?" "Um, we're just talking." "Well, you're not supposed to be back here. Find somewhere else to talk." "Yes, sir. Sorry." Ugh. I was shaking.
The cop left, and we followed him. I drove fast, and dumped Alan Jackson off at the McDonald's.
Being in the closet sucks, and luckily I came out not too much longer after this incident, and graduated from dirty sex in cars.
Anyway, this bar rag got me thinking about all that. It's definitely a collector's item. The ads are priceless. Check out the price for this meal in 1975:
Posted by durban bud at October 18, 2006 08:48 AM
Comments
With prices like that, even I'd have to go to the gym 5 days a week.
No more dirty sex in cars? So you cleaned out the car and wrapped it in saran-wrap after that?
Posted by: Carl at October 18, 2006 10:25 AM
My experience was very similar. I noticed all the graffiti in the local park bathroom and became fixated in meeting a guy there. I was maybe 16 years old. Of course it turned out to be a guy 25+ years old. The thing I remember most about giving my first blow job is that his crotch smelled freshly scrubbed with zest soap.
Posted by: Mark at October 18, 2006 11:28 AM
I didn't have to go through any of this stuff... I had the luxury of sucking off the neighbor boy about once a week from 7th grade through graduation... he's still one of the biggest I've had. Ahh.. the good ole days :)
Posted by: Paul at October 18, 2006 12:36 PM
I'm real depressed knowing that we'll never have dirty car sex. Guess I'll go hunt up some old, warty congressman instead.
Posted by: homer at October 18, 2006 02:10 PM
Not to be off subject with the comments regarding TJ’s experience, but I wanted to add: my mom's family are from NYC and my "uncle" is actually her uncle. In Italian families, everyone is your uncle, or your cousin; there are no second cousin once removed. Anyway, Uncle Lindy was an out gay man in the 70's. He died when I was fairly young (10 years old); though I remember him fondly. He was always fun to be with and he had a collection of music boxes that fascinated me as a child. The bar rags were a gift to me recently from my aunt who found them in Uncle Lindy’s belongings. She titled the package “family memorable.” I was happy she thought to give them to me. It was definitely an interesting time capsule and a small glimpse of my uncle life. I visted his grave in NYC a few years back. I wish I had know him in my adult life. It would have been great to hear his coming out story.
Posted by: rob at October 18, 2006 03:49 PM
The Beau Geste? It was just up Third Avenue, and I remember it well. I used to think it was full of rich, snooty Gramercy Park types, but then, back in 1975, I was 21 and having a rollicking time in the East Village. And the prices listed were more expensive than the places we hung out!
My partner and I have a collection of old rags like this, and it's fun, every couple of years, to take 'em out, laugh a lot, and recall the old stories.
By the way, I think homophobia is MUCH more pervasive now than it was in the 70's. You have to realize, that after living through every kind of "liberation", most people seemed perfectly happy to let you "do your own thing".
Posted by: Mark at October 18, 2006 04:39 PM
Why don't we have a gay Walk of Fame? Who would be on it?
Posted by: Glenn at October 18, 2006 07:30 PM
that was a hot story. I masturbated to it.
Posted by: Steve at October 18, 2006 10:38 PM
Hmm, first of all, I'd think the Gay Walk Of Fame would be pink triangles, not stars. First 5: Harvey Milk, Sylvester, Billie Jean King, Martina Navatilova.
And Al Parker.
Posted by: Joe.My.God. at October 18, 2006 11:10 PM
I was out by 1982 and hung out with a bunch of folks that were out in the 70’s, there was a real sense back then that being gay was some how cutting edge. We gay people thought we had our pulse on what was new and exciting, and back then I guess it was. However a lot of those who were out in the 70’s and early 80’s were dead by the late 80’s/90‘s. The middle 80’s and the AIDS crisis was one of the scariest times to be gay in modern history, I think much more then the 70‘s was. Not only could you catch a deadly disease and die but the Christian Right took full advantage of this to further promote their long history of terrorism against gays. The American government turned it’s back on the problem which made it escalate into a global problem. These days to me being gay has lost that cutting edge of new, thanks to Queer Eye, QAF, Will and Grace, ect., being gay has become very mainstream, there isn’t that sense that your in on this really cool secret culture, because everyone is in on it. The straight guys these days look more gay then I ever did (Can I start calling them FAG?). In the 2000’s being gay doesn’t mean you’re a progressive type of a person it just means you're lame.
Posted by: Baldmonkey at October 20, 2006 04:31 PM
as i was reading the story, it brought to mind a very similar experience i had with a young man in a car, in a park, with an officer coming up to the window....you mean to tell me i wasn't the first? you are too funky.
Posted by: john at October 28, 2006 06:48 PM