Focus, I tell myself.

She ran a number of tests on me and said my results were "through the roof." Great. So what do we do about it? I told her I didn't want to take medication for it, cuz, ya know, I'll end up snorting the shit. She said, "Well, if you cut your knee, you need to put a band-aid on it before it will heal; the same thing applies to this situation." I didn't have the heart to tell her that I would probably let my knee bleed until it stopped.

She asked how I had been feeling lately. I told her I felt fine, but was having some trouble sleeping.

"Are you depressed?"

"Um, I don't think so."

"Are you often tired?"

"Not really, but I do feel really lethargic around 4:00 in the afternoon."

"Well, that makes sense because it now gets dark earlier. Plus, it is getting colder. How is your mood during the winter months?"

"I'm not a big fan of winter. I tend to hibernate. I think it's part of my bear-like nature."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"I think you may have Seasonal Affective Disorder."

"Huh?"

"It's a serious disorder that causes lethargy and depression during this time. There is now treatment for this."

"But I'm not depressed; I just have sleeping issues. What is the treatment?"

"There is a medication that has recently been approved. It is an anti-convulsant and regularly prescribed for people with bi-polar disorder."

"But I'm not bi-polar." OMG, am I?

"I know, but there are other benefits to this drug. It mellows you out."

"I don't need to be any more mellowed out. I'm 'through the roof' on that one too. Some people already think I'm post-mortem."

"Well, I think you should think about it."

"Okie-doke," I lied.

I didn't need to hear this. I need to focus on one disorder at a time.

She started blathering on about other things, but I wasn't really listening.

I think this whole ADD thing might have something to do with my disinterest in science fiction/fantasy films. All the gays seem to love this stuff, which I think, comes from identifying oneself as an alien in the world. But I have never been a fan, except for the Sigourney Weaver/Alien films.

Too many things are happening in those films; I can't keep up. Star Trek bores me to tears. Battlestar Gallactica seems interesting, but I can't watch it for more than five minutes. The Lord of the Rings movies were really cool, but I couldn't tell you what they were all about.

The only thing I could tell you about the last one in that trilogy was that it was one of the gayest movies I've ever seen. Frodo and that chubby guy were totally in love; I couldn't focus on anything else. Gay, gay, gay!

Anyway, on top of all that, I think I may be getting sick; karma, I suppose, for my barrage of ornery posts this week.

I guess I will take a nap. With the aid of some medication, of course.