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November 19, 2006
Five-Alarm Phone Sex
A friend of mine had phone sex with a blogger while he was in his car, parked in front of an apartment building. Apparently, he shot a big load all over himself. Then he noticed the sound of sirens. He looked in his rearview mirror and saw a number of firetrucks heading his way. Covered in his own semen, he reached down to pull his pants back up. Five firetrucks stopped in front of the apartment building. He was sandwiched between all the trucks and couldn't get out. So there he sat, alone, scared, stuck -- with sperm dripping from his forehead -- a product of his own sinful lust.
I told him that phone sex is so 1990, and that phone sexing with a blogger, especially, signifies the lack of a moral compass.
He chastised me for including his name in one of my earlier posts. A bunch of his co-workers at his new job googled his name and my post was the first thing that came up. So now they all think he's a slutty alcoholic who has an affection for curb-dropping his friends when he gets horny. I love blogging!
Which leads me to this...
If you're introducing me to strangers at a party, please do not introduce me as a blogger. It's a sure-fire way to kill a conversation. He did this recently, and the look on people's faces was as if they smelled rotten cabbage. They looked at me with pity, until one of them said, "I don't read blogs." I said, "Most people don't." He added, "But if I were to read your blog, what is it called?" Naturally, I said, "The Sean Show."
Posted by durban bud at November 19, 2006 03:09 PM
Comments
I love Sean's blog. You can e-mail me privately about the identity of the phone sex blogger, non?
Posted by: Aaron at November 19, 2006 04:23 PM
Now we know how all these boys find Sean...
Could have been worse: If he hit his forehead, he could have hit himself in the eye.
Posted by: Carl at November 20, 2006 09:36 AM
For some reason, this post has induced a recurring loop of "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."
Curse you DB!
Posted by: Brian at November 20, 2006 09:52 AM
bitch, please.
Posted by: t.todd at November 22, 2006 12:29 AM