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November 16, 2006
Mario Lopez Has a Nice Butt & Other Observations
* My annual Thanksgiving Day feast with friends at my place will be replaced this year by a Thanksgiving Day feast with Mom & Dad at my place. They are staying a few nights, which means I will need to completely de-sex the place and wash the sheets, for a change. This will take hours. I'm sure some pesky nipple clamp will somehow magically appear while they're here, like last time. I hate when that happens.
My mom always feels the need to investigate my closet organization. During her last visit, I caught her reapplying my shirts on their hangers. Apparently, I don't do it neatly enough. As she was doing this, a leather, wanna-be cop cap fell from the top of my closet and hit her on the head. Without missing a beat, she picked it up and placed it on a more appropriate hook. Nothing was said. She continued sprucing up my closet. I was like, "Mom, my closet is fine." In her southern accent, she says, "I reckon it's okay, but yer shirts and pants (pronounced: "paints") are a big ol' mess (pronounced: "mayis")." Whatever.
I've never cooked a full meal for them before, so this should be interesting.
* Some 18-year old whore named pinkyboobies keeps asking to be my friend on myspace. I totally denied her. But she keeps coming back for more. Sorry, pinkyboobies, but I'm not interested in your whore web cam.
The spam situation is out of control on that site. The other day I got over 100 requests for friendship. They were from strippers and twinky male prostitutes. And if you have over 300 friends, I'm guessin' you don't really need another.
* Normally I'm not attracted to pretty, smooth boys, but Mario Lopez is hot. He has a very perky butt. I'd like to spank it.
The new Bond is also a beautiful man. Again, not normally my type, but very sexy. I may actually see this one.
Penelope Cruz is a beautiful woman. Again, not normally my type, but I would totally have sushi with her.
Balthazar Getty is totally my type. He's come a long way since Lord of the Flies. Sadly, he's one of them heterosexuals.
* If someone sends you a smile on Friendster, or something similar, are you supposed to respond? I don't know the protocol.
* What the hell happened to Carson Daly? He needs to eat a meal or two. He used to be cute; now he looks like he enjoys the crystal meth. I attempted to watch his show the other night when I couldn't sleep. I have never not laughed so much in my life.
Posted by durban bud at November 16, 2006 12:39 AM
Comments
If they send a smile on Friendster with no text, I respond only if they're hot, single, and from DC. If they say something nice I try to respond in like manner.
Posted by: jimbo at November 16, 2006 02:29 AM
Balthazar Getty revved me up in Charmed and now I get more, more, more. Also I love Brothers & Sisters, and Calista is growing on me. We'll see how heterosexual he is after i show him pictures of Charlene.
I plan on seeing the Bond film, probably on Saturday.
Posted by: Carl at November 16, 2006 09:47 AM
"The spam situation is out of control on that site."
I originally read this as "The SPERM situation is out of...". I was all... "maybe I'm not accessing the right part of the site"...
Make sure your parents bring you some white-hots and WPOP. My brother actually brought me a garbage plate via jetBlue once.
Posted by: Paul at November 16, 2006 10:21 AM
Aw man. I feel so "Jr. High School" all over again... No one wants to be my friend on MySpace. Not even pinkyboobies... :-(
Posted by: Bubala at November 16, 2006 11:55 AM
you HAVE seen the shower scene from Nip/Tuck with Mario AND Julian on youtube, right?? After that, nobody will even remember Frau Smirnoff anymore (although I always enjoyed that he was shimmying across the dancefloor with a vodka bottle...)
Posted by: henry at November 16, 2006 02:36 PM
I so have dibs on Mario, keep your nipple clamps off of him!!~!
Posted by: homer at November 16, 2006 03:08 PM
Mario is rather tasty looking.
As for Carson. Maybe his new motto "huked on crack, wurked 4 me".
Posted by: moby at November 16, 2006 04:17 PM
Carson is sporting the Basedow look. Ghastly.
Posted by: jimbo at November 17, 2006 03:58 PM
I have this thing for Giovanni Rabisi
Posted by: Patrick at December 22, 2006 11:35 PM
That pic of Carson is funny. You dont happen to have a image with a higher resolution do you? I want to print it out on our large plotter at work ;)
Posted by: Nice Butt at July 17, 2008 05:14 PM