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December 20, 2006
Christmas Sux Donkey Dick Part 2
I finished my Christmas shopping within an hour at Target. I just ran in, grabbed shit off the shelves, paid and left.
My sister sent me a list of what to get her kids. Of course, I didn't get any of her suggestions, since the last time she did that, they hated what I got them. Six and eight-year olds really don't like fraction puzzles, apparently.
Since my sister enjoys reading, I bought her "He's Just Not That Into You."
And since her husband is a republican, I bought him the Dixie Chick's latest CD.
My 9-year-old nephew is a really bright kid, so I think he'll enjoy the Brokeback Mountain DVD.
My 7-year-old niece likes dolls, so I bought her Turleen.
And since I got Turleen for my mom last year, I think she'll enjoy Turleen's new friend, Jerwayne Jr.
My dad enjoys smelling fresh for my mom, usually by wearing baby powder, but I'm upgrading him to the sexy new fragrance by Pee Diddle. I mean, who doesn't want to be sexy like Pee Diddle? It obviously works for him!
I think they'll all be pleasantly surprised. All in all, it was a fairly painless shopping expedition.
As for gifts for my friends, I've decided to send them all smiles on Friendster.
Note to women with big asses: Please do not wear skin tight jeans to go Christmas shopping. No one wants to see your holiday camel toe; Jesus would frown upon that. But if you insist on wearing skin tight jeans, at least make sure your weave is on straight.
That's all.
Posted by durban bud at December 20, 2006 03:53 PM
Comments
Well I hope you got your brother-in-law the deluxe version of the Dixie Chicks cd. - it has the video to 'Not Ready to Make Nice'. May as well rub in the visual too! :)
dBud: Actually, I did!
Posted by: Blobby at December 20, 2006 08:29 PM
You can forget issuing notes to women with big asses at Target: they won't be reading them.
Posted by: Chris at December 20, 2006 08:37 PM
"Jake Shears" of Scissor Sisters has a spectacular camel toe in the video for "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'." The toe makes an appearance at 0:21 and continues for the whole video:
Posted by: Aaron at December 21, 2006 12:49 AM
I have to agree with Chris's comment about the woman in the the tight clothes...she probably will not be reading anything on any computer...maybe make a sign and hang it on the front of the target though...
Posted by: Kelly at December 21, 2006 07:35 AM
Awesome shopping, love the Dixie Chicks CD...I need to shop like this!!!!
Posted by: patrick at December 21, 2006 09:34 AM
You always get people the coolest gifts! I just created a Friendster account. Where's my gift smile?
Posted by: Bubala at December 21, 2006 09:50 AM
Um, I'm pretty sure there was a camel toe or two at the manger... but they were attached to a real camel.
Posted by: cb at December 21, 2006 10:38 AM
how hard is Julie going to laugh at that.
you're too much
Posted by: pam at December 21, 2006 12:22 PM
My lesbo aunt used to buy us toys guaranteed to torture our parents, like big loud yellow plastic toy power tools you started by pulling a ripcord. Those were sweet on car trips.
Another idea, a very loud toy assault rifle might be especially effective in vexing the Republican...he'll want to love the gun while hating the noise...
Posted by: Chris at December 21, 2006 04:11 PM
Love the Xmas spike! We have a lil gift for you too - I'll be in touch!
Posted by: TOS at December 21, 2006 04:28 PM