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December 15, 2006

Dear Yeast Infections

Dear Melinda,

Thanks for emailing me regarding your web site featuring "Ghorgeous Gbirl Soucks BIGCOCCK & Gets Tuitty Cwumshot". I'm really not interested though. See, I'm a homosexual and that whole scenario is a total turnoff. I'm also not interested in your web site with the woman sucking off a well-endowed horse. Frankly, I find that really disgusting and nauseating. So please contact someone who would get off on that sort of thing, you dirty whore.

Dear Jefferey,

Thanks for emailing me about "TOP quality med$ for the most attractive prices"; but you see, I no longer take drugs, so your product is really of no interest to me. I hope you overdose. In the meantime, I suggest contacting someone who would enjoy your type of product.

Dear PayPal,

Thank you for informing me that my PayPal account has been compromised. The only problem is I don't have a PayPal account. Frankly, you're a fucking asshole. Please contact someone more retarded and gullible.

Dear JohnC,

Thank you for taking the time to post hundreds of comments weekly on my site, but you're really wasting your time and mine. You see, I have comment moderation turned on specifically for e-coli like you. None of my readers would be interested in your home loans or your casino sites or your fake penis enlargement pills or your goddamn printer ink cartridges. I hope you get anal warts. So please head on over to a new blog who could probably use the traffic.

So, to all of you cyber yeast infections, stop contacting me about these things. Your tenacity is quite disconcerting. I mean no disrespect, but if you were to be beheaded, I would probably chant "Allāhu Akbar" along with the others.

Sincerely,
dBud

Posted by durban bud at December 15, 2006 12:03 AM

Comments

Posted by: Dagon at December 15, 2006 12:11 PM

Posted by: homer at December 15, 2006 01:13 PM

Posted by: Brad at December 15, 2006 06:33 PM

Posted by: TigerYogi at December 15, 2006 11:53 PM