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December 07, 2006
Make the Yuletide Gay
So begins the time of year when we're aurally pounded by "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".
This is the most dreaded song for paranoid closet cases. They think everyone will stop, point, and shame them when the word gay is uttered. At least I did.
It's funny how gay is now solely synonymous with homosexual. I don't know anyone who has ever used the word to mean happy. That's why it makes hearing those songs a bit awkward cuz you know everyone is thinking of homosexuality, however briefly, in a Christmas song.
I remember hearing that damn song the Christmas before I came out. My mom invited a number of relatives over for dinner. I was in charge of playing the background music. The kids were clamoring for some John Denver with the Muppets, so I obliged. Of course, the gay song came on during one of the quiet moments at the table. I deliberately started a conversation when it got close to that one line, to avoid any uncomfortableness. But it didn't go as planned.
John Denver sang, "Have yourself a merry little Christmas, make the yuletide--." And that's when it happened; the CD started to skip: "ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga..." I got up, ran over to the CD player and tapped it on its side. The music stopped. It got very quiet, then resumed: "gay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay." Avoiding any awkwardness was now replaced by awkwardness times twenty.
Nervous smiles came in my direction. The gay verse did not signify "happy"; it signified "TJ doesn't have a girlfriend and probably likes man butt." I was aware people were speculating.
Deck the Halls was always a pisser too, but the "Don we now our gay apparel" verse goes by nice and quick, unlike HYAMLC, which is slow and lingers.
Anyway, I look forward to watching the new HD version of Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer on my new bitchin' plasma this Friday. Rock! On!
UPDATE: The way they remastered this for high definition was incredible! The colors and details were so crisp. It was so crisp you could make out the li'l bulge in Yukon Cornelius's pants. btw- He's a total bear.
Posted by durban bud at December 7, 2006 12:13 AM
Comments
Will the ambient light glow red like the outcast's nose? Will it pulse?
Posted by: RED at December 7, 2006 10:16 AM
Now TJ, perhaps you can model some gay apparel?
Posted by: homer at December 7, 2006 01:19 PM
I used to look a lot like that when I was younger. Same haircut. Different shoes.
Posted by: Dumbek at December 7, 2006 09:25 PM
Maybe the TV knows too and the ambilight will give your walls the appropriate lavender glow.
Here's hoping your holiday is Mary & Gay!
Posted by: rodger at December 8, 2006 01:27 AM
My favorite part of Rudolph was always when Hermie the Elf gets all 'piggy'. You just KNOW he was being used as a hole by Yukon Cornelius. That's why he got on all fours and starting oinking...
At least that was my interpretation when I was eight.
Posted by: cb at December 8, 2006 12:59 PM
Nothing says 'gay' like Rudolph and Hermie running away together to find acceptance.
Posted by: Blobby at December 10, 2006 10:02 PM