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January 05, 2007
Signs of the Apocalypse
As I was accidentally rummaging through my nasal dust filter the other morning, I found something troubling: a long, WHITE hair. I always use my fantastic nose hair trimmer, so I'm all, "What the fuck?!?" Evidence here (definitely NSFW).
I believe this was purposely placed there to remind me that Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend is quickly appoaching. To prep for the big event, I planned on working out every day and eating healthier at the start of the New Year, but that all got shot to hell when I somehow consumed an entire package of cookie dough yesterday.
I believe, that too, was purposely placed in the store, to remind me that you don't have to be ripped to attend MAL. So I'll prolly just visit the exhibitor booths at the hotel. Not sure why though; it's usually the same thing every year. And really, how many new things do I really need?
I went to the MAL dance party at Nation last time. Some of these leather guys take the event very seriously. I always feel like I'm intruding since I'm not decked out in full leather gear. Someone told me if I wore a t-shirt that said "POLICE" on it, I should be fine. So I did. I felt like a retard, like I'm some sort of bad ass for implying I'm a cop. The very next guy who walked on the floor had the exact same t-shirt on. By the end of the night, I saw ten guys with the same shirt. It also didn't help that there were actually two REAL cops patrolling the event, snickering at my wannabe-ism.
I do have some, um, outfits; I just don't think I look good in them, especially compared to the hardcore leather gods.
It's funny how we gays enjoy playing dress up from time to time (leather, cowboys, drag, Jimbo). I wonder what causes that. And why leather??? Why not fur, polyester, spandex or hemp? I think it would be cool to have a Mid-Atlantic Super Hero Weekend. We could all be like the Super Friends. I would be Green Lantern.
It's also a sign that I am getting older, and my birthday is coming up. Y'all have 49 more shopping days left! I hope you've been saving up.
I'm sure I'll hit Blowoff that weekend, but what does an aging gay boy stuffed with cookie dough and sprouting white, runaway hairs wear?!?
Rodger thinks the outfit in that photo up there would be appropriate. btw, I think that's Tos.
Posted by durban bud at January 5, 2007 11:12 AM
Comments
I know of people who are into spandex. But I guess it's not as popular as leather or drag.
I wanted to be Green Lantern! I always thought he was hot, especially the greying temples. Perfect choice for you I guess.
I'll be the Green Arrow, or the Flash, perhaps.
I have a pair of chaps, but they don't fit me, they certainly won't fit you.
>; )
Posted by: jimbo at January 5, 2007 12:03 PM
Leather queens- I.just.don't.get.it.
Posted by: homer at January 5, 2007 01:00 PM
the dress code for the discerning gay in 2007 is gingham & paisley, preferrably in combination. And collars that pop up.
Posted by: henry at January 5, 2007 01:06 PM
I always suspected Jimbo would be the Flash. At least if the bathroom wall at the Lantern is any indication.
I can't wait to read this in the first post-MAL Blade:
"We were always too old, too fat, too hairy, or not built enough for Nation, and you made us feel unwelcome. Then we got our own party. Now that Nation is closed, you’re trying to take over with your bitchy attitude, drug ODs and childish — and sometimes violent — behavior. Thanks for ruining MAL, circuit queens."
Posted by: chrisafer at January 5, 2007 02:51 PM
You should wear as little as possible, that way you won't have to worry about attire. Or you can borrow my burqa.
but they don't fit me, they certainly won't fit you. Harsh!
Posted by: Carl at January 5, 2007 03:09 PM
Ummmm that is so not me... he has 3 chest hairs and I only have two... ummmmmmmmkay?
Posted by: TOS at January 5, 2007 05:52 PM
There was a party to which I went a long time ago for which it was "required" to wear latex. It was really fun. And HOT (in all senses of the word).
Why don't you just wear a pair of black jeans, and no shirt? Perhaps with some neck bling, like a dog collar or some such thing? This kind of thing always works for me when I go to "leather" events...
Posted by: erquirk at January 5, 2007 09:30 PM
That picture gives a whole new meaning to the term "jawbreaker"... ;)
Posted by: TigerYogi at January 6, 2007 09:10 AM
Just wear the classic combo of jeans, t shirt and an arm band. The rest of that stuff is too difficult to get off after you have been sweating in it.
Posted by: Herb at January 6, 2007 09:54 AM
Think long, white nose hairs are troubling? Wait until you discover your first long, kinky, white ball hair. That'll really make you feel old!
Posted by: Bubala at January 6, 2007 11:40 AM
My husband informed me that I now have grey hairs in my perineum area (from the nuts to the hole) of this aging body. He did not stop munching, however.
Posted by: Mike at January 7, 2007 11:00 AM
Frankie say: Relax.
Give in to the leather. Even if you don't measure up to "demigod" status-- or even Flash Gordon Hawkman extra status-- its still fun to don the cuir apparel.
I completely get a different attitude when I put on a harness and arm cuffs.
Posted by: cb at January 8, 2007 04:21 PM