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January 20, 2007
Tight Holes and BitterBears
I was supposed to go to the Baltimore Aquarium with some sexy bears today, but then I realized I don't have a car to get there. They offered to pick me up, but that's like way out of the way for them, and I really didn't want to feel like Miss Daisy.
Then I considered going out to some gay bars tonight to act all slutty and shit, but then I realized I'm a pussy, cuz it's too fucking cold to leave my home, now that winter has finally hit DC -- I'm supposed to be hibernating anyway. I probably won't show my face again until my birthday next month. I'll walk out, do a quick wave, and run back in -- and I'm cool with that.
So instead, I watched a marathon of "To Catch a Predator" on MSNBC. I'm still not sure how I feel about that show. The only reason, really, people watch is to see the humiliation when the men get caught. It's a lot like American Idol in some ways, innit?
After that nonsense, I searched the men of Big Muscle Bears looking for new mandies in the area, and seeing if I recognized any holes. I did notice a few acquaintances of mine. One of these guys had a profile informing us that he has a "tight hole." I didn't really need to know that, but I suppose it's good to know he doesn't have to wear diapers. But really, who doesn't have a tight hole? I mean, isn't that fairly standard? It's kinda like saying, I have really wet saliva. I would hope your hole is tight. If not, I would expect you to use a colostomy bag, and mention that in your profile.
There are some really sexy men on that site. Not everyone is hot like a porn star, but at least they have the guts to put themselves out there, especially if they're looking for a date. And some guys have some really well-written profiles.
Other guys bitch too much on their profiles, listing a bunch of things they don't like about guys or complaining about some guy who did them wrong, and then wondering why they can't meet anyone of quality. Um, I know a few reasons, and one of them is cuz you're a BitterBear (new word!).
A BitterBear is a furry, athletic, gay man ranging in age from his late 20's to mid 50's, who believes the world now owes him something, since he has finally gotten into moderate to great shape, after years of neglect -- and if he feels these accolades are not bestowed upon him, he throws hissy fits and constantly bitches. He thinks he is the shit now, but his maturity level has been at a standstill since high school. Steroid users, guys who came out late in life, and aging club kids tend to be BitterBears.
And I think we all know a few of those.
Please add it to your vocabulary. Remember, I'm here to educate.
Posted by durban bud at January 20, 2007 09:51 PM
Comments
I think BitterBear will definitely be a part of the official Clickboo™ lexicon. :)
Posted by: tom at January 21, 2007 03:20 AM
I dunno, I've come across more than a few loose holes who could not be tight even if a DC bus drove through. Like a tic-tac thrown down a hallway...
Posted by: jimbo at January 21, 2007 12:03 PM
Just don't abbreviate it BB ;-)
Posted by: TOS at January 21, 2007 01:35 PM
So many BitterBears around, should we label them? Bitching is not hot, they should be forced to wear burqas. ;-)
"To Catch a Predator" creeps me out. It exposes the very deepest doubts I have about the jury system, since it prejudices the jury pool. Plus it moves law enforcement from the trained professional to the idiot with a camera. Won't be long before one bites back and blows up NBC HQ.
Posted by: copperred at January 21, 2007 02:46 PM
The profiles with laundry lists of dislikes make me weary.
Posted by: homer at January 21, 2007 03:30 PM
I prefer to think of myself as a Bitchy Bear.
Is that worse?
And how did my profile score on the Bitter Scale?
Posted by: Joe.My.God. at January 22, 2007 01:44 PM
You should have let us come and pick you up. If you had started acting like that Miss Daisy woman, we would have just bitch-slapped you, that's all!
Posted by: Bubala at January 22, 2007 04:55 PM
I think you should list all the BMB profiles that you think are BitterBears and tight holes. I better not be on that list, although having a tight hole isn't such a bad thing.
Posted by: ROBOCUB at January 22, 2007 10:59 PM
See I am gonna disagree on the tight holes. First of all, I think there is a big difference between sloppy and gaping. Sloppy is good. I just don't like to force it in, I like it when it just sorta gets sucked in :) I could def do without the 'ow', 'slower', 'hang on a sec' and 'pull it out' during the initial stages of sex. And I know I am not alone.
Posted by: Gay Canuck in the Capital at January 23, 2007 01:48 PM
Ha! BitterBears. Nice one, TJ. There are a few of those here in SF as well...
I too am constantly amazed by how people put themselves out there on BMB and the like. Of course, I still enjoy it!
Posted by: Ben at January 25, 2007 03:00 AM
this is a really, truly, disgusting thought, but could mr cheney be a BitBear?
I feel sick.
Posted by: jeff at February 8, 2007 02:47 PM