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February 18, 2007

Flippy-Floppy

If there is anyone who can kill my libido, it's Ms. Sue Johanson. And Oprah, of course.

The following comes from one of her sponsor's sites:

"After two children, I had serious incontinence problems. My vagina had that 'flippy-floppy' feeling. I could barely feel anything. Sex was just not the same."

I think "two children" is codespeak for "being a whore." And I know a few flippy-floppy men who should consider a trip to San Antonio.

On her show she just got done discussing queefs, and used a dildo to demonstrate how air can build up in a vagina, causing a funny, little sound during sex. Fascinating television!

Another highlight was a man asking if it was okay to foot-fuck his girlfriend, even though she has athlete's foot. Answer: Prolly not.

Or maybe, the guy who asked if it was okay to have anal sex with his partner, even though his man-cooter was littered with hemorrhoids. Answer: Abstain from anal and tuck the large rhoids back into his butt, so they heal faster. Interesting. And gross.

Jimbo and I are considering having our own podcast, in which we can answer some of these probing questions. I think that would be educational. And this would be one of our sponsors.

Posted by durban bud at February 18, 2007 11:56 PM

Comments

Aaaaaaaand . . . I'm done with breakfast.

I vote yes on the podcast, but I think it should be called probecast.

Posted by: Long Story Longer at February 19, 2007 10:04 AM

I wonder if LVRI of San Antonio advertises on billboards?

Posted by: Raybob at February 19, 2007 10:55 AM

I hate the commerical for Climatique during Sue.

Posted by: Sarah Spelled the Right Way at February 19, 2007 11:16 AM

Remind me to invent a sex problem so I can call in to your show.

Posted by: homer at February 19, 2007 11:36 AM

The other day on Oprah, one of the guests (a doctor) said that the vagina is a self-cleaning oven (ie, no need to douche). I don't believe that for a minute.

Posted by: stebbins at February 19, 2007 1:54 PM

I agree with Stebbins. With my super-enhanced mutant senses, I have smelled more than a few rotten snatches on the MetroRail.

We can do the podcast, but you have to take care of the tech stuff. I am barely able to set my alarm.

Posted by: jimbo at February 19, 2007 4:04 PM

A Podcast is a Great idea! It'd be an instant hit, for sure! I'll take care of the tech stuff.

Posted by: Bubala at February 20, 2007 12:31 PM

I'd support the podcast only if it had less vagina than the blog.

Posted by: Brian at February 20, 2007 1:42 PM

The only one that would freak me out more would be Dr. Phil talking about queefing. I can almost hear him coining something like, "Now that's just stinkin' queefin'!"

>>

Posted by: cb at February 20, 2007 4:38 PM

Thanks for the link to Sue. [grimace] I hadn't thought of her since I left North America. Now it'll take weeks to get out of my head the image of her hand movements as she describes various sex acts.

Posted by: sandy at February 20, 2007 11:36 PM

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