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February 27, 2007
Mister Fister & His Slaveboy Harem
There are benefits to having a kinky little fucker as a friend.
Mister Fister stayed with us over the weekend. Since he likens himself to a Daddy Master (tee hee), we asked him to search out a slaveboy and order him to clean our place before the Oscar party.
I don't mind that he seeks out these adventures when he's in town, as long as he does his bizness elsewhere. And he washes his hands at all times. I always stock up on Clorox baby wipes when he visits.
He's a great guest, cuz he logs onto Manhunt so I can look at all my friends' penises and whatnot, and find out what they're into. As always, I'm not surprised. (btw, the rumors about Carl are totally true!)
The only drawback is letting the kinky fucker use my computer to land "dates". I get on to check my email and 6 instant message screens pop up saying things like, "Sir, what do you want pigboy to do now, sir?" Um, first I want you to get off my pristine christian computer.
What does one say to pigboys? I wanted to find out, so I'm all, "Touch your toes."
"Master, I just touched my toes for you."
Hmmmm.
"Finger your bellybutton, pull out any lint and set it on your kitchen table."
"Yes, sir. I'm fingering my bellybutton, looking for lint."
"Good boy!"
This is fun. I didn't have anything prepared to order them to do so I just rambled shit, totally kidding.
"Now email Dr. Phil and tell him his wife sux donkey dick."
"Sir?"
"DO IT, YOU FILTHY WHORE!"
"Yes, sir. I'm sorry."
"Here's his email: drphil@drphil.com. DO IT!"
A couple minutes later, "Sir, message has been sent."
OMG! This kid loves to obey; I could get used to this! S & M rules!
"Master wants you to come over and clean his apartment."
"Yes, Master, what does Master want his slaveboy to wear?"
"Just a jockstrap." And then for some retarded reason, I said, "And that's Master dBud to you!!"
"dBud?"
"Yes!"
Silence
"Is this TJ?"
Sign off.
Posted by durban bud at February 27, 2007 12:05 PM
Comments
See that was one reason I had to leave Manhunt all those months ago: Too Many Penises of people I knew. The rest fine, but if that's the first thing I see, I will call you out. Ya gots ta have some decency, and leads with ya face!
So you're not going to say who it was are you? I'm going to be pondering that all week.
Posted by: Carl at February 27, 2007 02:36 PM
Rock On!
Posted by: patrick at February 27, 2007 03:36 PM
Hilarious post. I love your blog. You have quite a sence of humor, plus you are HOT!
Posted by: Mark at February 27, 2007 04:09 PM
Why didn't I think of the slave boy thingy instead of cleaning my own house? I=stupid.
Posted by: homer at February 27, 2007 04:42 PM
You are a funny guy. :-) Makes me smile. Um, sir.
Posted by: Raybob at February 27, 2007 05:52 PM
I have a hard time believing that Jimbo didn't know it was you during that IM conversation.
Posted by: Aaron at February 27, 2007 06:26 PM
HAHA that totally rocks!
Posted by: Scott at February 27, 2007 06:44 PM
Too funny! :)
Posted by: TigerYogi at February 27, 2007 06:54 PM
Our place still needs a good cleaning. If you supply the jockstrap I'll provide the windex.
Posted by: rob (the other half) at February 27, 2007 09:02 PM
That's so funny.
Posted by: Stephen at February 27, 2007 09:14 PM
Oh my goodness that was funny. Thanks TJ! Just got into the office and am still trying to wake up and then I read this. HAHAHAHA!!
Posted by: CTPete at February 28, 2007 01:29 AM
Hmmmm.... Now that might just explain why some people are so into the master/slave fetish. I never thought about using it for exploitation like that. My house does need a good cleaning, and I do have a few jockstraps around here someplace...
Posted by: Bubala at February 28, 2007 08:21 AM
And what would Master dBud wish of me next?
Posted by: cb at February 28, 2007 09:01 AM
Um, first I want you to get off my pristine christian computer.
This has been cracking me up since yesterday....
Posted by: Chris at February 28, 2007 10:42 AM
I think I need to go wash my hands...
Posted by: Matt at February 28, 2007 11:47 AM
Why is it that I am the ONLY one out of this whole bloggerati that hasn't seen any of your cocks?!? I wanna see too!!!!
Posted by: A-Ron at February 28, 2007 06:42 PM
And umm.....what would master like slave to say in his comments next? ;)
Posted by: A-Ron at February 28, 2007 06:44 PM
A-Ron, I think you've seen your share of cocks lately. Share with the single people, mmmkay?
Posted by: jimbo at February 28, 2007 11:51 PM
I could never do the whole master/slaveboy thing without giggling constantly.
Posted by: mark at March 1, 2007 05:21 PM
mmmmm . . . bellybuttons . . . .
Posted by: t.todd at March 2, 2007 12:58 PM
I'd be your slaveboy, Sir
Posted by: Draegon at June 29, 2008 12:09 AM