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February 24, 2007
The Martini Crowd
I made pancakes for our birthday dinner. I'm an original. It was pretty low-key until Mr. Fister from NYC paid us a visit at 9:30 last night. He was hungry. I offered him a pancake. He devoured it. He was still hungry cuz his blood sugar was way low, apparently. Rob suggested we go out for another bite to eat. I declined. I was disheveled, unshowered and not pretty. They were going to go to grAnnie's, but opted on a closer place, since it was so cold out. Somehow, I got talked into going.
We walked down to Duplex. It looked crowded. There was a sign on the door about some benefit something something Soulforce something GLBT something. We asked the host if she had a table for us. She did. We took our seats and ordered.
As we sat there, the place got increasingly more crowded and louder. There was a DJ. It was fagtabulous! And I mean that in the best sense. There were tons of pretty boys with button-downed shirts, designer jeans, hair product and martinis. And there were also plenty of Jennifers. And then there was me.
Our table became surrounded by people sipping cocktails. The DJ played "Ice Ice Baby". I bopped my head. It's a natural instinct. The Jennifers began shaking their asses and rapping along to this golden ditty. Um, are we in the middle of the dancefloor? I do believe we are.
"All right stop collaborate and listen
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop yo I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle"
Um, no.
So there I sat, unkempt, with people peering over us as we took our baby bites. The final straw was when a gyrating Jennifer with junk in her trunk hit my fork with her jiggly ass during Bryan Adam's "Summer of '69". Check, please! We wrapped up our food and escaped.
I am simply not fabulous, although a fag.
Posted by durban bud at February 24, 2007 10:42 AM
Comments
This post would be almost perfect, except you didn't write about Anna Nicole or Britney.
Posted by: homer at February 24, 2007 08:00 PM
"Not fabulous" is the new "fabulous". Sorry, TJ.
Posted by: Curt at February 24, 2007 08:07 PM
I'm glad your birthday was thick and rich and buttery.
Posted by: Sarah Spelled the Right Way at February 24, 2007 09:14 PM
Living and having birthdays with family and friends is most definitely fabulous no matter how ya slice it. Happy BD, TJ.
Posted by: Raybob at February 25, 2007 01:12 AM
Happy Birthday (belated)
Posted by: Kelly at February 25, 2007 11:03 AM
Dude- we so need to talk. I'm not 'fagalicious' either. I went to a bar last night and felt old and out of touch. It felt like kindergarten-goth night or something.
Posted by: cb at February 25, 2007 11:11 AM
Did Jennifer bonk you with her giant purse? It's not an evening out until she hits you with her giant purse, completely unaware.
Posted by: jimbo at February 26, 2007 01:16 AM
I think Duplex is on a downhill slide. Last time I was there (on a date) they were showing American Idol on the monitors and also people were singing karaoke. In the middle of the dining room. On a Wednesday. Not very conducive to sexy date-talking. Happy Birthday, though!
Posted by: ivan at February 26, 2007 04:14 PM
Sounds kinda . . . I don't know . . fun? crappy? More importantly, did you get good presents?
Also -- question requiring input from the finer sex (don't know why they say women are the finer sex, I would vote for gay men any day). Anyway . . . thanks to the link I understand what a Jennifer is . . . but is there a term for a non-screechy, not-quite-so-young woman (notice I'm not using the term "girl") who doesn't carry a suitcase for a purse and who just happens to find gay clubs less obnoxious then straight ones (where, lets be honest, she is bound to be approached by at least one toxic straight man)?
dBud: Hmmm...that's a good question. There has to be something in between Jennifers and fag hags. I will ask about this. As for the presents -- no. :(
Posted by: 'stina at February 26, 2007 05:00 PM