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March 12, 2007
Voices Carry
I heard my neighbor having sex the other night. I really didn't need to hear that. At first, I thought it was a little baby trapped in our chimney. So as I started to light a fire to muffle the cries, I realized it was my neighbor getting her muffin buttered and jammed.
I should probably say something to her, but I won't. She's pleasant enough and her wireless connection is much faster than mine - I love that about her!
Why is it the women are always the ones to make noise during hetero sex? I was listening closely for the guy she was porking to make some sort of sound. He didn't make a peep (even though it's close to Easter and all). That's so irritating. Show some goddamn enthusiasm. Moan, fucker!
I can hear my other neighbor when he's on the phone. He laughs like Robert De Niro did in the movie theater scene from Cape Fear. And I'm not kidding one bit. He seems like a sociopath too. Plus, he owns a weiner dog.
I don't say anything to him either about his scary laugh, cuz his bedroom is right next to ours. I'm no screamer, by any means, but I do like to be an active participant - so I'm sure he's heard a thing or two hundred.
Nothing is private. Someone is always listening. Unless you're deaf.
Posted by durban bud at March 12, 2007 9:30 PM
Comments
My guess is that there ain't as much frixxion as the buttsex... but that is only a guess, I wouldn't know :-)
Posted by: TOS at March 13, 2007 5:53 AM
She may have been alone...?
Posted by: joe at March 13, 2007 5:55 AM
Thats the benifit of haveing 160 acres with no neighbors. No one can hear you scream.
Posted by: Chad at March 13, 2007 9:23 AM
Sounds like your neighbor woman was trying out a new power toy...
dBud: No, boys. She wasn't alone. There were more than one set of footsteps. I noticed as soon as the moaning stopped. Plus, she was in her living room, which is directly above mine. If she was going to vibrate her vadge, wouldn't she do that in her bedroom, bathroom, study or conservatory instead?
Posted by: Andrew at March 13, 2007 9:50 AM
Be thankful you DIDN'T hear the guy. I had the pleasure of hearing the straight couple next door making babies. They were a fun, well-educated, enlightened couple, which made the repetition of "Who da' man" as he was banging away even more disturbing. I couldn't look them in the eye for weeks.
You should do what my ex and I did: fake some noises for their benefit. They may watch the volume, and it's a little fun to see their reaction to you after hearing various barnyard noises.
Posted by: JD at March 13, 2007 11:10 AM
Hearing your neighbors have sex is funny. I always heard my upstairs neighbor have sex with her ugly boyfriend. Every other night I heard the beadsprings squeak for about eight minutes. Eight minutes! I always felt sorry for her seeing how he got his but she never seemed to get hers.
Posted by: Jim at March 13, 2007 11:39 AM
My last neighbor sounded like she was a cat giving birth during sex, all that mewling and stuff. It was disturbing.
Maybe your neighbors are equally scared of hearing you, worrying about you spilling poppers all over yourself.
Posted by: Carl at March 13, 2007 12:08 PM
Once you live in any city, you lose a degree of privacy. It's just the way it is. I am SURE someone has seen each of you naked through your window at least once...
Posted by: Matt at March 13, 2007 12:48 PM
JD, wasn't the temptation to look right at him and say "You da man" almost too strong to resist?
Posted by: Huntington at March 13, 2007 7:23 PM
My studly neighbor/landlord - i'd never ever hear him having sex....just the women he brought home.
I could have lived w/it if I had heard him GROAN just once!
Posted by: Blobby at March 13, 2007 9:28 PM
Okay, I'll jump in and paint many with the same brush here. (Can't help it; it's the mood I'm in.)
All emotions and sexual orientations aside, maybe hetero sex just doesn't feel as good (to men) as gay sex. It never did to me anyway.
Posted by: sandy at March 14, 2007 8:40 PM