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April 01, 2007
The Pizza Boy: He Delivers Sssecrets
A man delivered a pizza to me last night. It was a surprise since I had not ordered one. I suppose it was delivered to the wrong address, but I was hungry, and quite frankly, people shouldn't make mistakes. I still tipped him, though.
Then I remembered that this must be The Sssecret, working its magical charms. I knew I would begin to receive gifts; I just wasn't expecting them so soon. But I don't question the wisdom of The Sssecret.
There were artichokes on it. I have never seen them on a pizza before. Unfortunately, there were no anchovies. And I do enjoy the 'chovies. I realize I'm like the only one, but I have an affection for all things salty and hairy. Maybe they will be on my next free pizza.
I had a couple slices and put the rest in the fridge. After that, the phone rang. Caller ID suggested it was the front door. I assume they were calling to "complain." So I didn't answer. I was full and tired and didn't feel like being bothered. There's already enough negativity in the world. They left a message about needing my "credit card number." Bitch, please. If you have a problem with it, take it up with the laws of attraction.
I wonder what else The Sssecret has in store for me.
btw, I was totally kidding about this! There were no artichokes.
Posted by durban bud at April 1, 2007 11:59 PM
Comments
Off the top of my head, I'd say Sssmall Claims Court.
Posted by: Huntington at April 2, 2007 09:56 AM
Artichokes!? Bitch, that pizza was for ME!
There are anchovies spawning in rock creek park now. I'll take you to go watch them. Bike ride at 6am tomorrow?
Posted by: jimbo at April 2, 2007 11:37 AM
Was it the PiSssa Hut on U? They'll have forgotten by now. Though the only place I can think of that puts on artichokes might be Alberto's. When they had the younger, loud, vaguely Russian taking orders, you had to be on the ball and prepared for decapitation if you stumbled.
Sssecret: It still sounds like a euphemism for the clap.
Posted by: Carl at April 2, 2007 11:42 AM
I dunno about that. Some of that story seemed like negative thinking and negative behavior toward others.
The secret may now send a skinny, hairless pizza delivery boy to ravage your ass with his 2 inch penis.
Posted by: cb at April 2, 2007 12:51 PM
Don't be silly, the Ssssecret rewards bad behavior.
http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/the_secret
Posted by: Justin at April 2, 2007 01:54 PM
I put artichokes on one of the pizza's at Jimbo's Mexican Loteria Pizza Party last week.
Posted by: homer at April 2, 2007 03:57 PM
Ssssecret? Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.
Posted by: Mike at April 2, 2007 05:46 PM
Pizza karma. It's the worst. Be careful out there.
Posted by: sandy at April 3, 2007 06:30 PM
I am so glad that I found your blog! You are hilarious!
Posted by: Keith at April 3, 2007 10:32 PM