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May 17, 2007
I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Dog
Tos asked me to check in on his new dog, while he and his boyfriend were working late. The dog suffers from separation anxiety, and has been letting the neighbors know. So I went over to visit poor Shelly.
Tos lives a few blocks away. It decided to pour the rain on my walk over. I was drenched. When I finally got there, the dog was like, "You smell like wet dog, dude."
Fine. Since I was to "spend some time" with the dog, I opted to dry my clothes there. I took off all my clothes, except for my boxers - I do have some modesty - plus, they weren't wet. I put them in the dryer. Good. All set for 40 minutes.
Shelly was relatively excited to see me when I first got there, but after about 5 minutes, she went to sleep in the other room. Rude. Cats and babies love me, but dogs, except this one, really don't enjoy me. I think they sense my cynicism. Or maybe they're just homophobic.
Anyway, I had plenty of time to kill. The dog had been walked earlier and it was raining hard, so I plopped down on their couch and called a friend on my cell.
Shelly wandered in, sniffed me, made some snarky comment about Mountain Fresh Downy, and rested by my feet.
Tos calls his boyfriend "Boo". Is that nauseating? I wouldn't know. I don't judge. I'll leave that up to the Lord.
Anyway, I heard key rummaging and the twisting of the doorknob. I look over and Boo catches my eye. I'm wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, sprawled out on their couch, with a dog looking awfully depressed by my feet.
Ruh-roh.
Posted by durban bud at May 17, 2007 12:03 AM
Comments
Well, neither of you were smoking a cigarette, so you must not have looked too guilty.
Posted by: Raybob at May 17, 2007 01:25 AM
I had a long, depressing day yesterday (kids were bad, class was too long...) but I giggled like a schoolgirl when I got a voicemail from this one say that he was drying his clothes and shirtless in my apt. Imagine my reaction when I heard about his string bikini on the couch... *snicker*
For those of you who don't know... love is walking down the street in a downpour to check on a pup and getting caught in your skivvies while your clothes dry. This is why TJ is my best friend - well that and he's always Downy Fresh!
Posted by: TOS at May 17, 2007 05:55 AM
I love it when you post daily. Hope Tos bought your story . . .
Posted by: Long Story Longer at May 17, 2007 06:55 AM
Mmmmm..
A man in his boxers with a dog at his feet.
That would be a nice surprise to walk into!
I bet the dog had the best view.
Posted by: Jim at May 17, 2007 07:31 AM
Tell your friend to try putting a snug fitting Tshirt on the dog. Really. It calms down dogs with separation anxiety. For more information, google "TTouch" or "Tellington Touch"
Posted by: tom at May 17, 2007 08:08 AM
Just the idea of you in nothing but your boxers is enough to make any gay boy squirm with delight! :P Sorry you got rained on, dude. Shelly sounds like a piece of work, but we do love our dogs, don't we?! Wow -- even the dogs are commenting on your "man smell." Mountain Fresh Downy and BO...yes, I did read the other post! Hehe. Someday I hope to be someone's Boo...and I think the Lord will be OK with that. Later bro.
Posted by: Rob at May 17, 2007 08:47 AM
Um, we're going to be out late this Saturday night. Maybe you could come over and check on our dog, Max. And maybe it will rain while you're on your way over and maybe we'll come home and catch you on our couch...
I bet Max would like you. He likes everyone except small children.
Posted by: Bubala at May 17, 2007 09:38 AM
Did you ever stop to think that perhaps dogs would like you better if you put out more?
Posted by: cb at May 17, 2007 09:52 AM
wow can you come watch my doggie while it's raining! :-P
Posted by: Scott at May 17, 2007 11:57 AM
I've always thought that TJ smells of laundry dryer sheets, and now I know why. I bet Boo was thinking "TJ lost a game of strip poker to a dog. Our dog. WTF?"
All this talk of dogs makes me want one.
Posted by: copperred at May 17, 2007 12:09 PM
Man, when I lived on the farm with my former partner, we had nine dogs and nine cats. I would have done all that and more (and I have!) for each one of them. Too bad you didn't take pictures ...
Posted by: raybob at May 17, 2007 01:30 PM
OK... Our dog is already on Prozac, what were you trying to do to her. I didn't realize they made Strawberry Shortcake underoos in adult sizes. It was a good laugh at the end of a long day. Thanks for helping us out.
Posted by: Boo at May 17, 2007 08:46 PM
Ummm, you'd be a piece of work too if you were neglected and abused in a former lifetime... Thankfully her SA seems to be waning! No barks today either. She's now near perfect. I'm even training her to poop on command. I stole the idea from spreading santorum and am trying to get her to crap when I say the word "Romney" - it seems appropriate :-)
Thanks for the advice Tom.
Posted by: TOS at May 17, 2007 10:31 PM
Woof! *snicker*
Posted by: Mike at May 18, 2007 09:45 AM