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June 29, 2007
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Anal
It's been one of those weeks when everything seems to be going so well - like the stars are all in alignment just for me; and I wake up every morning feeling refreshed and excited to start a brand new day.
I'm totally kidding.
That's why I am so looking forward to heading to the beach this weekend -- for a full week.
The glorious DC humidity has finally hit hard. If you're not familiar with DC's humidity, I'll give you an example of what it's like. Shove your head up Laura Bush's vagina. Now try to breathe. Hard, isn't it? You'll notice how hot, sticky and wet the air is around you. You should also be aware of an off-putting odor, mixed with the aroma of mint juleps. Your breathing becomes slower; your voice takes on a smoker's rasp; and your exhales sound like queefs. That, my friends, is summertime in DC. So from July to August, we here in DC, live in Laura Bush's snizz.
That is why we often depart to the beach, and seek out a sugardaddy with a huge summer house in Burlington, VT.
On Sunday, I took Rhonda out to do some grocery shopping. As I passed by JR's, I noticed several Outsiders smoking their little lungs out. An angertwink yells: "Y'know that granny cart ages you 20 years." "Oh, really? Then I guess it's a good thing I'm only sixteen, twinkerbell." I looked at his cigarette. I looked at his face. I looked at his cigarette. I looked at his face and smiled, cuz he knows I'll outlive his twink ass.
The week started like that.
Anyway, I hope to see you this weekend or next week at the beach. I'll be in the water, relaxing, and occasionally playing the new game: rock, paper, scissors, anal. It's all the rage. I usually win.
Posted by durban bud at June 29, 2007 09:56 AM
Comments
I ignore the smoking angertwinks in front of JR’s. Had I spoken to them, I would have reminded them-- yes, we have a granny cart, but we are not spewing nasty emissions into the air with our grocery run. And speaking of nasty emissions, I would like to point out to the smoking twinks; it aint so glamorous anymore; you're hooked and it must suck hanging outside in the heat and humidity to get your fix. Just wait til August.
Posted by: rob (the other half) at June 29, 2007 11:40 AM
you should've shoved that ciggie right up twinkerbell's snizz.
(I DO like the term snizz, btw)
Posted by: cb at June 29, 2007 12:20 PM
Enjoy your VACAY TJ. Where ya going to? PTown? Rehoboth? Dammit. I am all out of vacation time this year. That's what I get for being such a traveling whore.
Have fun! Don't worry what the twinks say. You are saving your back you'll need for the weekend. ;)
Posted by: brettcajun at June 29, 2007 12:58 PM
I'da cut that bitch and told her to go back to BeBar so she can shake her non-ass for spare change from broke sugar daddies.
I'm guessing (your) anal wins since it can swallow all those other things?
DB: Unless I'm playing against you, of course.
Posted by: copperred at June 29, 2007 02:14 PM
Ahh, summer at the beach...oh wait, I already live at the beach! Took the dogs and my sorry sore ass to the cove today for a swim. Its still bloody hell cold in the ocean in Maine, I wouldn't recommend it.
Love Rhoda! Twinks be damned!
Posted by: Seth at June 29, 2007 03:02 PM
I’m so glad you learned your lesson after last year’s rock, paper, scissor, chainsaw fiasco. Enjoy your week at the beach!
Posted by: Herb at June 29, 2007 03:31 PM
TJ/Copperred will you please work out a ceasefire?
I am not sure how all this started or why TJ put your face on that pride flag….but the tension is unbearable and I sense the beginning of an all out blog fight.
It is fruitless to try to identify the biggest bottom in a town like DC and there is already enough gay on gay violence. Please work it out for all of us…especially the childrenz!
Posted by: Chris at June 29, 2007 04:07 PM
Let's see ... how would that go?
Scissors cuts paper,
Paper covers rock,
Rock breaks scissors.
How does the new game go? ::
Rock shoves up ass?
Scissors does an episiotomy on ass?
Paper wipes ass?
Ass shits on scissors?
Oh, my. The game just got sooo much more complicated.
Posted by: Raybob at June 29, 2007 04:11 PM
Chris hon, you haven't seen tension until you've lived with a woman who's having two periods a month because hers is the weaker of the two cycles in the house. This is still rollicking fun.
They don't make antiperspirant strong enough for DC summers. Still, it's a war of attrition.
Posted by: copperred at June 29, 2007 05:29 PM
Does the ranking of anal vary depending on the owner of the anus?
Posted by: Grumblor at June 29, 2007 06:05 PM
I used to live in Burlington VT. I sure didn't see any sugar daddies, but I was probably looking in all the wrong places.
Posted by: sandy at June 29, 2007 06:30 PM
OK TJ snizz is a new one. Several of the guys in my college fraternity took a sex ed class at the same time to satisfy our phys ed requirement. The assignment was to develop a list of nicknames for penis, vagina and "the act." My brothers and myself far out distanced the competition with more than a hundred names for each. Snizz, however was not on the list. Congratulations on expanding the language in such a positive direction!
Posted by: Boomer at June 30, 2007 09:50 AM