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June 03, 2007
You Must Be Logged-In To Do That!
I just asked Marilyn Manson to be my friend on MySpace. He better not deny me. It's not so much that I'm a fan, I just think it would look nice to have his photo sandwiched between my longtime high school friend Pam and fellow blogger Clickboo. And since this month is all about celebrating diversity, I'll do it my own way. Fingers crossed.
Don't you just hate when people blather on and on about their workout routines? So 2002.
So, a friend has been working me hard at the gym lately. He's a very patient drill sergeant with me -- I guess it's a combination of his military training and former Mr. Eagle title status. And I assume winning Mr. Eagle is a step up from winning Mr. Fireplace or maybe Mr. Splash. But I'm not sure. By the way -- is it appropriate for someone to wear his sash to the gym during workouts? Just curious.
I'm also learning new things with the sarge.
There's a reason the hip adductor machine is located near the women's workout room -- it's meant for women! Men -- who use it too often -- will fuck up their hip bones. I know it's fun to show how far you can spread your legs and all, but you're damaging your bones and probably growing a little, baby va-jay-jay in the process. You've been warned.
Yesterday the drill sarge told me and Rob that we would work on legs. As any homosexual knows, a leg workout is really just code for sculpting the ass. Squats, lunges, sphincter tightening and leg presses are all about the glutes, I'm told.
Then we learned the workout wasn't at the gym; it was at Meridian Hill Park -- more specifically, it involved these steps by the fountain.
I ran up and around the steps three times before vomiting. I opted out of the advanced conditioning he proposed after -- which was basically just lunging over hypodermic needles and empty flasks strewn throughout the park. Maybe next time.
Anyway, the purpose of the intense workouts is to get me in shape for a triathlon, or maybe a Big Muscle Bears profile. I'm still up in the the air about which is healthier.
Although I am not photogenic, I am allowing myself to consider the profile to help celebrate diversity and pollute even more internet real estate. My profile will be completely different from the rest. It will be an homage, of sorts. Stay tuned; you'll see.
In other news, I fear Russia is reverting back to the Soviet Union.
Posted by durban bud at June 3, 2007 10:04 PM
Comments
Oh honey, you are too photogenic. Especially in those naked photos of you in your bio section. You know? The ones for members only?
Posted by: Raybob at June 4, 2007 12:09 AM
Hi DB, it sounds like you are on a serious program. Intensity is the key. Compressing sets and limiting rest time will give you good results. One way to add intesity to any workout is to limit the rest time between sets. For about a year now, I've been doing 8 sets of 8 reps of each exercise with no more than a 15 sec rest between sets. This means you stay put on the bench or whatever until you complete 8 sets -- then you move onto the next exercise. Its called 8x8 and is a classic workout routine.
Thanks for the great blog -- I read you everyday.
Mike in Minneapolis
Posted by: mike at June 4, 2007 01:24 AM
definitley have some more fun workouts in your future big boy! WOOF! Now drop and give me, well.... I'll keep it g rated.
Posted by: the sarge at June 4, 2007 08:38 AM
I am so proud of you for having a Sarge. I wish I had one to kick my butt right now. I have been slacking off and being WAY too piggy.
Posted by: brettcajun at June 4, 2007 09:05 AM
I vote for the Big Muscle Bears profile. You'll get a much better workout than in a triathlon.
Posted by: Zack at June 4, 2007 09:09 AM
I think you are very photogenic.
Posted by: Mike at June 4, 2007 11:06 AM
I will have to ask Scott about that adductor damaging your hip stuff. I want to hear the facts, because so much gym voodoo is BS.
Anyway Richard Dean Andersen from Stargate and MacGuyver is my friend on MySpace. And George Takei. And Ben Takei.
Posted by: jimbo at June 4, 2007 12:41 PM
Clearly the words spoken about the hip abductor is man who has never seen Ms. Onatop in her natural millieu. Those exercises come in handy when holding onto things like horses or men who have to be killed.
If you need intensity, you should just work out with an Asian navy wife; there's more yelling than at a stoning.
Posted by: copperred at June 4, 2007 02:16 PM
Copperred: That is one of funniest things I have read in a long time!
Posted by: Chris at June 4, 2007 03:46 PM
It would be such a thrill to be next to Marilyn. :)
Posted by: clickboo at June 4, 2007 07:22 PM
Cool of Marilyn to show up for your workout...even if he does deny you as a MySpace friend. All the more reason to go for the Big Muscle Bears profile. Nothing like a bunch of hot bears to cheer you up.
Posted by: rodger at June 4, 2007 11:59 PM
myspace... is that still on?
Posted by: Brian at June 5, 2007 02:32 PM
Digging the latest version of your profile photo. Is it just me or is the TB guy kinda hot?
Posted by: condoblogger at June 5, 2007 03:36 PM
You fricken crack me up! Love ya! Your humor is my cup of tea! xo Rad
Posted by: Rad at June 5, 2007 05:09 PM
Ok, now THAT was comedy! Thanks for the good laugh
Posted by: moby at June 7, 2007 03:32 AM