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July 16, 2007
The Saliva Pit
I think it would be cool if Bob or Rich played Prince's Batdance some night at Blowoff. I've got some moves I'd like to throw down to that song. Plus, a lot of those Big Muscle Bears are posting their "Which Superhero Are You?" results on their profiles. So it would probably go over well in that type of setting. The demand is clearly there.
Something unusual occurs on the floor at about 1:00 am. A small area in front of the left side of the stage turns into a saliva pit. Shirts are pulled off and boyfriends push their boyfriends into the pit, where the grass is green and the cold sore puss flows freely. There is lots of tonsil wrestling, swinger-style. It's a bonding of the lips. The bonding is so strong, a vortex sucks you in even if you fight it, and you find yourself really getting to know the other swingers. The next day, your vagina itches.
I did notice something troubling. Jockstraps can be very sexy, except when they look like this. Then they look like male Spanx, holding your belly in tightly. And when you're letting your pants fall lower and your male Spanx move up your back for everyone to see, it becomes less than pleasant to witness. You're not playing badminton at the club, so leave these male Spanx at home. You'll be glad you did.
We watched these two shirtless men gyrating their butts together. One guy bent over while the other one laid his back on his. Another man approached and started pinching the guy's nipples. They were clearly enjoying themselves.
The Sarge was like, "WHO is that guy?" "Oh, that's Rob's therapist. Interesting, huh?" When the therapist noticed Rob, he said hi. I said, "I'm sure you've heard a lot about me." Then I tweaked his nipples and said, "Too bad they're all lies. Enjoy your evening."
I met a couple readers of this site there. I could only say, "I'm sorry" and hug them.
A huge surprise came later in the evening when Sarah and her girlfriend popped in to say hi. It was lovely to meet them. I hope they weren't too scared by The Saliva Pit. I believe they witnessed some things.
I hadn't been to Blowoff in awhile, so it was nice to go back. We went with Mr. Bartender and the Sarge, but ran into several bloggers -- hovering around The Saliva Pit, not surprisingly -- including Dumbek, Dinger, Jimbo, A-Ron, Clickboo, Cynically Optimistic.
"This town needs an enema!"
Posted by durban bud at July 16, 2007 11:07 PM
Comments
You make a hot night out sound like a fungel infection :)
Posted by: Mike at July 17, 2007 02:47 AM
Wish I could have been there. That saliva pit sounds like a good time!
Posted by: Bubala at July 17, 2007 08:28 AM
The only problem with the saliva pit is if you're macking out with your friends you don't meet anyone else.
:'(
I have a sore throat.
Posted by: jimbo at July 17, 2007 09:19 AM
I KNEW we should have gone...oh well, next time.
Posted by: stebbins at July 17, 2007 09:51 AM
Blowoff: what a cool name for a bar! And the "Saliva Pit"... whoaaa.... damn.. I need to come to DC and experience everything! I am envious.
Posted by: brettcajun at July 17, 2007 10:19 AM
It was great to meet you and Rob. I thought the 'Saliva Pit' was normal occurrence at Blowoff.
Posted by: Sarah at July 17, 2007 11:50 AM
My lips are chapped.
Posted by: rob (the other half) at July 17, 2007 12:12 PM
Whores and sinners repent!!!
Posted by: homer at July 17, 2007 12:22 PM
Why don't we get Tim Burton comic book movies with Prince soundtracks anymore? Everything about that movie is fucking beautiful.
"Partyman" is a good, mix-worthy track as well...
You're right, the demand is there.
Posted by: Dagon at July 17, 2007 12:45 PM
Well, sooner or later I'll run into you guys there. I actually go all the time, but didn't know of your existence until a few weeks ago. But you look familiar as do some of the bloggers you mentioned :) Batdance would be cool!
Posted by: Steve at July 17, 2007 09:43 PM
"Plus, a lot of those Big Muscle Bears are posting their "Which Superhero Are You?" results on their profiles."
Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman
Wonder Woman
Posted by: Brian at July 18, 2007 10:01 AM
Why not call it "The Spit Pit"? Like the substance it refers to, it just rolls off the tongue so nicely.
This has been bugging me all day. (I have nothing better to occupy my time right now)
Posted by: John at July 19, 2007 02:51 AM