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August 14, 2007
Sloppy Mistake
I rented a few adult DVDs of the homosexual persuasion yesterday. I returned them today (on time!).
Until...
I received a phone call from The Video Rack.
"One of the DVDs doesn't have the DVD in the case."
Ugh. So I checked my DVD player.
"I don't see it here. What's the name?"
He whispers, "Ummm. It's a Treasure Island video."
"Okay, but what's the name?"
There was a lot of noise in the background. I heard a baby crying. Softly, he says, "Cummmm shoppy buuuu hoes."
"I'm sorry - I couldn't hear you."
Ever so delicately, "Cummm shoppy buuuu hoes."
"I'm sorry. I can't understand you. It's too loud in your store. What's the name again?"
"CUM SLOPPY BUTTHOLES!!!" It got very quiet in the background.
"Ahhh yes, the Merchant-Ivory flick. I see it. I'll return it tomorrow. Sorry about that."
Classy.
Posted by durban bud at August 14, 2007 12:23 AM
Comments
You dirty pig! I love you.
Posted by: moby at August 14, 2007 01:24 AM
Hilarious.
Posted by: Barry at August 14, 2007 04:17 AM
YOU... deserve a spanking... and to be taken out to a fabulous dinner for doing that, you bad boy. The background noise people probably had no clue as to the context of the Video Rack dude's blurtation, other than as "just a thought for the day for your enjoyment", which he might have said while looking around the store after a moment of stark silence. Yes, I'll administer your punishment.
Posted by: Dan at August 14, 2007 05:30 AM
OH MY GAWD. If I was the video rental person, I would have reached through the phone line and swatted you for making me scream that out loud in front of other people. Ha Ha! Especially if there were children around!
Now you know, you are going to get some lecturers REEMING you (and not in a way you like!) for mentioning THAT media company and THAT title. I dared link to their website once in a post, and got read the riot act for influencing my peeps down a dastardly road. Who knew I could possibly have influence on anyone? Yeah... me either!
So... be prepared to get some heat brother! You can just use me as an excuse. Just say... you heard a rumor that I was in the movie and you needed to check it out for sure. ;)
Posted by: brettcajun at August 14, 2007 07:39 AM
And now we know a bit more about what you like!
Funny how things work... you could have gotten the innocuously titled "What I Can't See", but this was much funnier.
Posted by: atari_age at August 14, 2007 08:24 AM
which reminds me that "High School Musical 2" debuts Friday, August 17.
Posted by: Herb at August 14, 2007 10:29 AM
Hi,
As an employee of the Leather/Video Rack I found your blog post very hilarious. Though it wasn't me that made the call to you. I'm laughing that someone at the store was too shy to utter the phrase "Cum Sloppy butt holes". Since all we do all day is talk about porn.
Check by this weekend. We should be recieving more new Treasure Island DVD's. "Built to fuck" and "MachoFucker:Ass Stretcher" are expected to be arriving soon.
DB: I think he whispered because there was a parent and child present - which is highly unusual at your store (unless, maybe, it was some form of roleplay - I dunno). I swear this isn't turning into a porn blog! But feel free to send me movies to review. Thanks.
Posted by: Roy aka Nortorious KuB at August 14, 2007 10:46 AM
Oh, to have been in the video store during that call....
Posted by: Greg at August 14, 2007 11:16 AM
I'd rather hear about what you were doing while watching that video :P Seriously, what a funny conversation!
Posted by: Steve at August 14, 2007 12:04 PM
I'm telling the guy at G Books that you are cheating on him.
Posted by: stebbins at August 14, 2007 01:55 PM
LMAO! You dirty, dirty, boy... ;)
Posted by: TigerYogi at August 14, 2007 02:13 PM
You're my hero. I love you. Muah. :)
Posted by: Rob at August 14, 2007 03:55 PM
I love it. You are priceless.
Posted by: Mike at August 14, 2007 05:32 PM
Well, if more parents would be open to cum sloppy buttholes in the firstplace... Oh who am I kidding, I'd be totally embarrassed, too.
Posted by: Signalite at August 14, 2007 06:25 PM
Weren't you a butthole double for that epic film?
Posted by: homer at August 14, 2007 08:05 PM
Don't cum sloppy buttholes spread disease and de-emphasize the severity of HIV and STDs?
Sorry, I'm being the obligatory prude-queen, but...
Posted by: TOS at August 14, 2007 10:00 PM
You should totally rent "Dawson's 50 hole weekend!"
Posted by: patrick at August 14, 2007 10:00 PM
LMFAO, great story!
Posted by: YNAGER '56 at August 15, 2007 09:20 AM
Well, it definitely has more emphasis on the 'ivory' color....
Posted by: cb at August 15, 2007 10:12 AM
LMAO outrageous!!!! Keep posting!
Posted by: Sammy at June 4, 2008 02:40 PM