I like #9.

You go girl! I mean bear...

I like #11 more.

I was almost run over this morning by a truck who did not yield to the pedestrian with the right of way. Every day I am reminded that I'm far more likely to die in a car accident than being shot in Shaw.

Uh oh ... does anyone want to buy a Hard Rock Cafe jacket? It's twill, not denim, though. Size large. From New York City.

Totes! I would love that jacket. I'll buy & bedazzle it!

re #11,

"When passenger of the foot hove in sight, tootle the born. Trumpet melodiously at first. Then tootle with vigor, and express by word of mouth the warning,'Hi! HI!'" ~Engrish signs

I would add a #12, "Do not ever use your cell phone in public for a very private phone call." I was shocked several years ago during the era of the Rise of the Cell Phone In America when a psychiatrist took a call in a Barne & Nobles where I was browsing and proceeded to spew confidential and embarrassing patient information over his phone, loudly, to everyone within earshot. Which turned out to be the whole store.

So, um, don't talk personal dirt on your cell phone. We're all listening.

Ewww....You have to tell them about #4? I thought everyone knew that...I'm staying far away from the district... and Lubbock.

Brava!, But, ummm...does this mean that I can't wear my flannel lounge pants to the grocery store anymore? I live in Maine for gods' sakes

Those lounge pants looked riduculous enough when they came out in about 1992 and the straight boys wore em to the gym...do people really still wear those things?

#1 is my favorite. "Slow the fuck down" is my new personal motto.

People using cell phones never cease to amaze me. They can be totally functional one second, then suddenly "ring-ring", they become functionally retarded. I was rear-ended recently (and not in a good way) by somebody on a cell phone in stop-and-go rush hour traffic. Just totally slammed into me, no brakes considered. Later at work, I ran into someone who had stopped mid-way through a hall door to take a call, and was standing there statue-like with the open door in one hand and their cell phone in the other.

Sorry, gotta disagree with you on the money to homeless people. I do buy them a meal often and regularly contribute to the National Alliance to End Homelessness but when you are in a rush and want to help, handing them a buck or two is sometimes all the good samaritan you can do. My question to you is this, why is it that queer men are the biggest penny pinchers when it comes to a couple of dollars to someone in need but they tend to have far more disposable income than their straight counterparts?

Not all homeless people are drug addicts and shouldn't be treated as such. Case in point, two of my neighborhood homeless, Larry and Duane, are mentally ill but not a threat to the themselves or others. Larry thinks that the Post Office is following him (as explained by the trucks and carriers everywhere) and Duane got lost in the 70s somewhere and hasn't left (he asked me last week if I was voting for Carter or Ford-I told him Carter).

Tossing your cigarettes and half eaten fast food remains on the windshield of my car is not only littering but also vandalism and I better not catch you doing it!

I like #2. I often have the problem of people behaving as if I should step off the sidewalk for their benefit. Not going to happen. I especially like it when a crowd is approaching and they make it very clear the own (or thing they do) the sidewalk. Easiest way to deal with this crap is to stop and turn around facing the opposite direction. You don't even have to do eye-contact confrontation. But they have to go around you now. Sometimes passive-aggression is your friend and is, relatively, benign.

And how does one distinguish the truly needy (through no fault of their own) and the nasty riff-raff that are just singing "Give me some money"? I remember the douchebag who hit me up three different times near the Eagle because "my lover and I had a fight and he left me here with no way to get home. Do you have...?" Three times! And the second time I said to him "this happens to you a lot". He looked at me baffled and said no. And I said no. The third time he tried this he didn't seem to remember me.

And then there's the guy who's always on his way to a job interview when his car broke down...

Great points.

I face an alley as well, a nice wide one (good for Whole Foods trucks) where people can really pick up some speed. There are a TON of accidents at one of the 4-way alley intersections. Stop signs seem to be a no brainer, yet all the buildings in my area can't seem to make the District put them in.

People should also consider not walking with their cell phone either. I've seen people almost get run over because they stepped into an intersection and not knowing what is going on.

If the District had adequate bike lanes, there would be less Wonder Women. Fortunately, DC DOT is doing something about it. More and more streets are being repainted with designated bike lanes.

Confronting smokers that toss their butts (and this is common in everywhere) will only be returned with blank stares.

#11: DC is blissfully quiet in the horn department when compared with NYC. However, DC seems to have much more siren action going on, at all hours of the day!

Hey! That's no fair to mock those of us from Lubbock! We don't wear those jackets, we FRAME THEM. Those people you see wearing the jackets are from a more cultural place, maybe Ohio.

Don't throw your nasty fried chicken bones on the street for my dog to lust after! Seriously you'd think the Colonel was in charge of the sidewalks! It's not like there is a KFC, Popeye's, or greasy carryout on every corner or something!

Oh wait...

Can we add "Do not block the intersection with your car" to that list? Those people KILL me...

I think it's time you move to Scaggsville TJ. They don't honk their horns and everyone smokes butts so there are ashtrays everywhere! Come on you know you want to go.........

I think I need to visit DC. I think it would be a very eye-opening and culturally enlightening experience. I should put that on my calendar. Should I come during the holiday season? Oh no wait, not only would I have to deal with the homeless, but also the Salvation Army bell ringers. So many needs, so little extra change...