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November 30, 2007

Megalomania

Mitt Romney makes me want to have an abortion. Every time he blathers on about his five sons and "protecting the sanctity of marriage," I want to ram a wire hanger up my snizz. I heard that when Massengill consulted God for design ideas for their new extra mild vinegar and water bottle, The Lord said, "Why don't you mold it into the shape of that fucking douche Mittens Romney?" And so it was.

Oh, I'm just kidding! I'm sure he's a lovely, wicked smart Man of God.

Anyway, me and Clyde -- or as I'm calling him this week "Muhammad" -- watched a BBC documentary on the Discovery Times Channel the other day about the Fred Phelps/Westboro Church clan called America's Most Hated Family. A British filmmaker lived with them for three weeks and attended some of their funeral protests of soldiers. Whoa. So unbelievably creepy. Watch a brief clip of the documentarian discussing his experience and scenes from the film here.

The scariest thing is how normal and well-adjusted most of these members appear to be, despite knowing how hated they are -- especially the granddaughters of Fred. They come across as almost likable, even when they smile and say, "You're going to hell." btw - If you're sent to hell as a spirit, how can you burn for infinity with no body mass...hmmm?

Even Shirley, the matriarchal cunt and most outspoken member, comes across as somewhat articulate and even -- dare I say -- funny at times, albeit in a nasty, mean-spirited way. If you ever go to their site and read some of her responses to questions people submit to them, you'll see what I mean. Sure, she's a mega-bitch and severely suffers from delusions of grandeur -- like most fundies of all religions -- but she's not a complete idiot. Evil? Sure. But not stupid -- which makes her even more dangerous.

Fred is the Osama Bin Laden of the bunch. He is a cantankerous prick but revered as their righteous prophet. I realize some other knucklehead will take over when he dies, but I'm not sure if he'll carry the same amount of influence over the flock.

What many of these parents force upon their kids has to be a form of child abuse, similar to what madrasahs do, I suppose. It's easy to brainwash when promising nothing but roses on the other end. And the constant fear of death causes many people -- especially the disenfranchised -- to believe in a magical world that is only accessible when one follows a strict set of rules, most of which suppress natural behaviors and experiences while you're actually living.

Religion is like oxycontin; it can serve a decent purpose and make you feel better when needed, but in certain hands, it can fuck you up and warp your sense of reality, as evidenced in the past couple weeks. Intervention really needs to start featuring religious addicts on the show, so we can see how fanaticism fucks up an entire family. But you already knew all of that.

The Westboro clan are coming to protest in DC on December 4th. Hmm.

Posted by durban bud at November 30, 2007 03:40 PM

Comments

When I saw Romney on tv the other night, I broke out in hives. I agree, give me a coat hanger, and let me jam one out of me!~

Posted by: patrick at November 30, 2007 04:20 PM

My brother went to the same school as his sons... they are all prats! Like father like son...

I love how he's all about the Iraq War and the strength of the military when none of his kids would even consider being a soldier...

But I suppose people like it when rich assholes get their kids in the Texas Air National Guard or some shit like that to get them away from war, dirt, and the military toilet paper that might chafe their lily white bungholes...

Posted by: TOS at November 30, 2007 10:23 PM

I was talking with an older man about the Iraq war, and he said an interesting thing: during the Vietnam war, the big thing that started the largest protests was when the US instituted the draft. Suddenly when everybody's boys had an equal chance of having to go and die, the big protests began. Ordinary men and women in the streets up in arms. I remember how creeped out I was in 1980 to have to register, even though there were no active conflicts. That would certainly shut Romney's trap.

Posted by: raybob at December 1, 2007 02:03 AM

Oh, and kudos to you for watching the Phelps thing. I can't stomach it. That much hatred makes me physically ill; I can't sit through it. Ironically though, if I were faced with it in person I think I might get righteously violent.

Posted by: raybob at December 1, 2007 02:05 AM

Oh come on now guys, you're not being fair. After all those sons of his made an even greater sacrifice to work on his campaign. Why they've had to... get up early, and, and... endure BUGS. (although some of those bugs turned out to be pwetty fier-fwhys..heh heh)... But most importantly-- they can hit a DAMN GRISSLEY DRIVER shot, and you'd better believe it's off the MEN'S T--WHAM!! DAMN STRAIGHT IT IS, YEAH BABY!

How can you stack a simple tour of duty in Iraq up against all that, even when it's been extended three or four times? Good Lord, guys, they're practically the Waltons of the new Millennium. Heh they sure sound it when they go nighnigh in the campaign trailer don't they? ...No I'm not crying I just have something in my eye.

Posted by: Dan at December 1, 2007 02:28 AM

Oh Louis Theroux is just brilliant. He gets invited into the lives of these freaks and they must know they are going to be exposed for the nutjobs they are. But being complete megalomaniacs they sit there and make total cunts of themelves in front of millions.

It astounds me that these people are not held in secure faciities for the deranged -- or just lobotomised by the state as an act of kindness.

Posted by: CraigF at December 1, 2007 06:11 AM

You shouldn't single out madrasas as being the only place where abuse of children happen - it happens every day in every religious school and nearly all religions are as hateful of queers as Islam. The term madrasa is a blanket term used to describe any religious school, not just the over-zealous ones and is often the only school available for the vast majority of the Muslim population. Singling out Muslims doesn't do anything other than show that you are just as ill informed as Mr. Phelps. Maybe you should learn more about the Muslim community instead of jumping on the "hate the darkies" bandwagon.

Posted by: Brian at December 1, 2007 10:21 AM

Working at an airline ticket counter at DCA has its share of weird experiences. Like that time, I started checking in this not-homely-but-chunky girl with the name of _____ Phelps. It was only when the bag tags came out MCI (Kansas City) that the alarm bells went off. My first thought was this girl was a clear example of the banality of evil.

Posted by: Mike at December 1, 2007 11:28 AM

I feel the urgent need to wash my monitor after watching that family spew their hate.

Posted by: Herb at December 1, 2007 02:32 PM

Blech. I'd rather catch this documentary about a different odd man who, while odd, was infinitely less evil. (I assume?) I mean, seriously, does Phelps make Peppermint soap? Of course not.

Posted by: atari_age at December 3, 2007 11:07 AM

I think you need to change your t-shirt to read "bears for Muhammad" or something.

Posted by: cb at December 5, 2007 11:51 AM

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