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December 29, 2007
Asian People Rarely Cook With Cheese
Anyway, it was just a year ago that my mom said, "Your father and I are very simple people. We don't need to travel to these places that you and your sister like. We're perfectly happy with the Outer Banks. We don't really enjoy traveling anyway." So what does my sister do? She takes them on a whirlwind European tour of Amsterdam, Rotterdam, Den Haage, Paris, and Brugge -- all within one week. They became very acquainted with planes, cabs, subways, trams and trains (which they hadn't ridden "since the 70's"). By the end of the trip they kinda resembled that Jesus guy walking up the hill at the end of the Passion of the Christ. But they were troopers, even as we had to run like hell to catch a departing train. My mom even dropped "Merci" a couple times. I was beaming with pride.
We took them to all the tourist traps. Our favorite moment was a Xmas dinner on the Eiffel Tower. I know, I thought it would be cheesy too. Luckily it was not a Planet Hollywood.
It occurred to me as I was looking up the Eiffel Tower's skirt that HR Giger must have been inspired by it. It would be cool if they made another Alien movie there, with the aliens hiding by blending in with the tower's iron and Sigourney Weaver screaming, "Obtenez loin de elle, vous râlent!"
Several places in Europe require you to pay to use a public restroom. It seems to be more common now as I never had to pay before. Taking a dump is about 1 €. Taking a piss is, of course, cheaper. I think America should consider this "poop tax" to cut down on unnecessary chronic defecating. Jimbo alone could help fund the Iraq war for another couple years.
And you can even douche if you need, which is far more pricey, as you can see in this pic. At first, we were like, wow, how completely sexist to charge women a lot more just to have fresh cooters. But then we realized that douche means shower in French. So remember that next time you call a French person a douche. You're really just calling them a shower, which further perpetuates the dumb American stereotype.
On January 1st we will most likely feel what will seem like a minor earthquake here in America. Some will think it's from New Year's fireworks, but it's not. It's the French trembling from nicotine withdrawal. France institutes a smoking ban at all restaurants, cafes and clubs on the first of the year. And the shit is gonna hit the fan for awhile. It will, however, make our future visits there much more enjoyable. The Netherlands also follows suit January 1.
This was my one purchase the entire trip -- bear slippers from Brugge!
My niece insisted on taking a picture of us by the Xmas tree in front of Notre Dame. By the way, my dad was surprised that there was no stadium at Notre Dame.
And one of my fave pics, me and my dad at the North Sea near Wassanaar:
Also at the beach - sand dunes:
My apologies for my lame photography skills. I still have not figured out how to set the resolution higher than 72ppi.
Posted by durban bud at 07:25 PM | Comments (16)
December 24, 2007
Medieval Times
The trip is going well. I've only had to reprimand my mom a couple times for speaking too loudly in public. I now say, "Mom, please use your European voice." She gets it.
Brugge, Belgium is stunning. I'm always pleased when someone tips me off to small, magical towns that are not your run-of-the-mill, well-known tourist destinations (at least not to this American). Here are some pics, including some shots of the trees on the drive there:
Happy holidays, kids!
Posted by durban bud at 05:12 PM | Comments (13)
December 22, 2007
Holiday in Holland
Pics from Wassenaar, Leiden and Amsterdam. Off to Belgium today. Groovy!
My apologies to the Dutch for embracing this stereotype, but, c'mon -- the shoes, the SHOES!
Showing my parents the sights:
Posted by durban bud at 02:48 AM | Comments (11)
December 19, 2007
Dag Mijn Vrienden
I'm in Holland. It's very Chris Miss C around these parts. And cold. I'm in a town called Wassenaar. My sister's family has a lovely place here. Rob and I are sleeping in a full-size bed. I miss those 6 extra inches.
Anyway, my parents arrive in Europe for the first time in their lives tomorrow. We are taking them on a tour of Amsterdam on Friday. Heading to Brugge, Belgium on Saturday, and -- as a Xmas gift to all of us -- on Christmas, my sister is taking all of us to a popular European city for a few days. My parents don't know about it yet and are gonna shit bricks when they find out. I will have my camera so I will document everything. I'll write more later. Au revoir!
Posted by durban bud at 05:41 AM | Comments (14)
December 11, 2007
Fruit Flies
If you're a homosexual and someone says you act very immature for your age, just tell them, "I can't help it. I'm suffering from neoteny." I know I will.
Who cares that Oprah is supporting Obama? It's been one of the leading stories on all the major news networks the past few nights. Big deal. Didn't she also tell people to go see her movie Beloved? I like to think for myself, thank you very much. Besides, it's all about who Sally Jessy Raphael is supporting.
The Sarge and Mr. Bartender are leaving me for Minneapolis at the end of the month. Boo.
Carl commits blogicide, promises instead to do live readings of his "musings" Friday nights at Town (around 1:00am-ish). Also promises he'll "keep on a-twitterin'."
Johnny goes to a Spice Girls concert and tells people!
Clickboo hangs out with Cyndi Lauper and says to her, "The Goonies are, indeed, good enough for me, Miss Thang!" Then he adds, "OMG, I bop too!" They hug.
If Brettcajun was a teenage girl, I'm pretty sure his videos would look just like this.
Whenever I hear that song "Bubbly" by Colbie Caillat, I think of Jimbo. Don't you?
Posted by durban bud at 11:23 AM | Comments (12)
December 06, 2007
The Shmammys
Apparently, if you write lyrics like this:
You had my heart
and we'll never be world apart
Maybe in magazines
but you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
You can see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share
You will secure yourself a Song of the Year Grammy nomination.
I'm officially out of the music loop. I've only heard of 2 of the Best New Artist nominees:
Feist [sic]
Ledisi
Paramore
Taylor Swift
Amy Winehouse
What a crock. Where the fuck is Bearforce1?!?
Posted by durban bud at 01:39 PM | Comments (13)
December 05, 2007
Snuggles
Jimbo called and said, "OMG! A snow storm is coming! A snow storm is coming! You need to stock up on water, saltines and potted meat NOW!!!"
So, to keep warm, I would like these items from Vik Prjonsdottir for X-mas, please:
The Beard Cap:
The Sealpelt:
The Twosome Blanket:
Take your pick. The sealpelt is my fave. Thanks.
Clyde has taken a shine to me. For now, he's my furry snuggle blanket. He follows me everywhere and whines if I close a door to be alone. When I use my laptop, he comes over, rests his head on it and uses his paws to get me to pay attention to him. So needy! Today I was lying on the couch, he came over, climbed on top of my chest with his 100 pound body and curled up in a ball. Um, no.
He tries to be all butch and tough with other dogs, but when he's behind closed doors, he's a cuddle pig. Here he is looking all bad ass with his silver bling:
Now here he is, lying on my leg, stretching out away from his blanket, as I'm using my laptop:
This is who he is really like:
I sense he's gonna miss me when we head abroad in less than 2 weeks. It's gonna be crazy until then. I'm kinda nervous.
* I first discovered the items above from The Blog Blog, which is also where I discovered the edible anus. Good stuff!
Posted by durban bud at 12:03 AM | Comments (16)