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January 28, 2008
Breaking Cujo
One of my neighbors thinks my name is Chuck. I just walked Cujo Clyde and when he saw me, he said, "Hey Chuck, how's it going?" I'm like, "Hey, it's going well, thankssss." I never correct him. He's been doing it for so long that I've grown accustomed to it, plus we never stop and chat anyway. There is another gay guy named Chuck who lives in a house nearby, but he's obese. Surely, he's not confusing us. Surely, he's not fucking confusing us.
Right after we exchanged erroneous pleasantries, a woman with a thick Caribbean accent walked by, saw Clyde and said, "That is a big-ass pit-bull, mon." I paused, turned around and yelled, "He's not a pit-bull!"
But he exhibited pit-bull stereotypes this past weekend, that's fer sure, mon.
Tos brought over his sweet dog Shelly to hang out for a few hours on Saturday.
Clyde's behavior with strange dogs is documented, but his owner insisted that after an initial meeting he tends to ignore them. Cool.
He met Shelly, sniffed and ignored her. Tos even gave them both a treat. 10 good minutes. Then Clyde put his paw on her back. She barked and he bit her neck and WOULD NOT LET GO. Three of us grabbed Clyde, pulled his choke-chain, screamed at him to let go, attempted to open his jaw, but nothing worked. He was in the zone. After about a minute he finally let go, with bloodshot eyes. Luckily, there was no damage and Shelly was/is fine, but shaken, as we all were. Great, I'm taking care of fucking OJ, the dog. How embarrassing. Visions of me and Clyde fleeing ASPCA authorities in a white bronco are not far from my mind.
I immediately called his owner and banished Eminem to his naughty mat. Tos took Kim home.
Something tells me this behavior is not a new thing; I was just never informed. His owner adopted Clyde and his sister Bonnie (ha ha) as puppies. A couple years ago, she gave 5-year-old Bonnie away. She said Clyde required too much attention. Hmmm. She also had his front teeth removed (which explains his awful lisp now). For example, when I told him to apologize to Shelly for what he did, he said, "I'm thhhow-wee, thhhelly. I'm tho, tho, thhhow-wee."
The bottom line is his anger management needs to be dealt with or he's gonna get euthanized by a pissed-off dog owner, and rightfully so. His time with me (at least full-time) will be up soon. I'm going to attempt to use a gentle leader for the remaining weeks. Pray for me on that one. At my request, she is also going to apply to the Dog Whisperer. If anyone can teach Clyde how to behave well with a pack of dogs, it's Ms. Milan.
But if Clyde doesn't get to be on TV, you can watch this video of an American Bulldog also named Clyde to witness their sheer awesome strength.
Take care,
Chuck
Posted by durban bud at January 28, 2008 04:10 PM
Comments
Chuck rhymes with my very favorite word! TJ, on the other hand, does not. But what's in a word?
Clyde sounds a wee teensy bit scary. Good luck with that.
Posted by: Raybob at January 28, 2008 08:38 PM
At least your neighbor didn't wave their hands furiously in the air and yell at you that they'd forgotten the crackers, Chuck.
Posted by: Signalite at January 28, 2008 09:27 PM
LOL! I had a neighbor that called me "Scott" for the entire 4 years the we lived across the hall from each other. My friends would to laugh at me about it because. we would have a conversation in the hall and I had stop correcting him about the error. It was like I had an alias.
Posted by: TQ at January 28, 2008 10:55 PM
I'm just glad Shelly and the boys and I are OK. It was really terrifying seeing my little dog dangling from Clyde's jaw. Seriously, it took 3 grown, strapping, manly men like 3 minutes to pull him off. I aged about 10 years in the process. If it is possible I love Shelly even more now...
But let us not dwell on Clyde's bad behavior... TJ and Rob got unlucky this time...
The last time they dogsat... he was an absolute angel... how I miss that little Beagle...
Posted by: TOS at January 28, 2008 10:56 PM
Oh wow. Is there anybody as adorable as that Shelly with raindeer ears on? I know we're not going to dwell on it but I'm afraid that Clyde would be in the dog house with me for a very, VERY long time. I'm just glad she's okay and hopefully not tramatized too much. Please give Shelly a, gentle, kiss and a hug for me.
Posted by: Dan at January 29, 2008 04:58 AM
Lord... reminds me of many trips to the dog park in the French Quarter. Big dogs (except Labs) HATE Dachshunds. Boudreaux and Pierre are hunted by Great Danes and Pit Bulls. I have to hurry and pick them up because Boudreaux will actually sit there and try to fight. Pierre is smart enough to hide behind my leg.
Posted by: brettcajun at January 29, 2008 09:44 AM
You speak to your neighbors? Good god man! Actually a new neighbor spoke to me and I really couldn't get over the shock. It just isn't done.
I'm sure Shelly was spoiled to easy her over her trauma. It sounds like Chuck needs Valium, or a stick of lard, which has the same effect.
Posted by: copperred at January 29, 2008 07:30 PM
Tho Thowee about hith littttthph. I work with a man whose office number is theven theven thixth thixth thixth theven theven. I chuckle every time I dial him. My dogs act heathen also. They're such bitches.
Posted by: R.B. at January 29, 2008 09:39 PM
We watched a season of Dog Whisperer and learned a lot and were much happier with our dogs' behavior (and I think they were happier with us).
Posted by: Robguy at January 30, 2008 06:11 PM
That was an terrifying experience, Chuck.
I'm lucky to have one of those dogs that just sit there when other dogs barks at her. Infact, she will look up at me and my boyfriend as if she's saying "what's up with that? Let's go, I'm bored with this." Oh, how I miss her face...
Anyway, I hope Shelly is all fine and didn't get bad memories because of this.
Posted by: Sorata at January 31, 2008 02:30 AM
Thank you to all who sent well-wishes to reindeer head :-) She's fantastic and has been to the dogpark every night this week and all is well. Yay!
BTW - Dan rocks!
Posted by: TOS at January 31, 2008 09:10 PM