This song is at least 50% as uplifting as TLC's "Red Light Special."

More inspiration for you: http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/

That was downlifting.

???

Jesus sort of rhymes with penis (imperfectly but still valid). Too bad the song didn't use it.

Oh, and was I supposed to chuckle at it?? I love the sing-speak the kid does at the "I thought I'd take it... right to you" line.

So what have I learned today . . .
1.) Jesus was Gandalf.
2.) Jesus does not implode in space like normal people.
3.) Jesus has child molesting tendencies.
4.) Jesus can time travel. As shown by clothing discrepancies.

Never mind the stuff I already knew about jesus being white (despite historical and area based racial dispersal of the time).

I think if I said this stuff out loud back in Kentucky I ccould realistically expect to get at least dirty looks, if not a good lynching

DB. I feel dirty . . .
Although i will say that the flashing stars reminded me of my Lite Bright from when I was a kid.

That was...oh I dunno...morose maybe?

That said...Have a blessed weekend and remember Mr. Jesus Loves YOU TJ!

That kid needs to be slapped.

Dear Mr. Jesus,

I've been really good this year and even made my bed every morning and everything, even if that means kicking my boyfriend out of bed early to do so.

I gave money to beggar the other night even though she was rude and interrupted my coffee and "death by chocolate" cake.

So Mr. Jesus, do you think maybe now I could have a Ferrari and a villla in the south of France? Santa didn't come through for me so it's up to you.

Thanks heaps Mr. Jesus, Love Kezza.

PS Mr. Jesus, if you could please not stand so close to me on the tram on the way to work, and maybe jack off into someone elses coat that would be super radical.

Not much rhymes with "Jesus" except perhaps "squeeze us" or, ahem, "please us".

And it's agonizing to hear a whole fucking choir of little people trying to "swing" and delay the beat at "shelter .... FROM the storm". shudder.

I preferred "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz" by Janis.

BEST VIDEO EVER

You Protestants are so strange.

It would have been so much better if only it had been sung by Cartman.

I thought it was just Jesus not “Mr. Jesus” like Cher or Madonna? Why so formal. That’s why she gets beat.

Wow!!! I have never read more Crap in a comment section as I have for this post. Just because you don't believe doesn't mean you shouldn't respect.

I don't believe in the Easter Bunny - should I still respect him?

Damn bunny eyes.

I haven't trekked your blog in a while, and this is what I find when I return?! Oh wait, yeah yeah, I get it. ::gurgle;:

Jesus, forgive me, but why not help the kid by not letting her get into a dire situation in the first place? Geez, Jesus, do the math.