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April 10, 2008
Red Light District

I need your help.
Because of my visits to Amsterdam, a few people have asked me to mention some cool sights for them to see on their upcoming visits. But I am not very good at offering advice in this field. I am notorious for my navigational retardation and I tend to just follow where I am led. "TJ, isn't this World War II memorial simply stunning?!?" "MmmHmm."
First and foremost, I would suggest steering clear of the touristy areas near Central Station. Seek out some quieter streets, walk around and soak in the beautiful architecture.
The obvious things to do: Anne Frank House, Van Gogh Museum, Vondelpark, the Cockring, a canal tour, gay 'hoods like Warmoestraat, Reguliersdwarstraat, Amstel or Kerkstraat, and a quick stroll through the Red Light District before it is no longer there.
Try not to smoke yourself silly when visiting. There is much more to Amsterdam than pot and prostitutes. I'm serious! But if you must, and I know you must, head to the-not-so-gay-anymore Reguliersdwarstraat neighborhood and stop by the not-so-gay-anymore coffeeshop The Other Side for some cappuccino and conversation. There is also a non-touristy coffeeshop called Siberie that our Dutch friend used to "bartend" at. Great space, quiet, and they have fussball!
Oh, and do NOT eat the space cakes. They were specifically invented to fuck with naive Americans to give everyone a good laugh.
When we were there in December, we took my parents around the RLD to find some prostitutes in the windows. My mom was curious, okay? But we had trouble finding them. There were many windows, but no whores. Our Dutch friend informed us that the Russian mob was wreaking havoc on the industry, among others, so the Dutch government was buying up the whorehouses and closing them to counter this problem.
Newsweek recently profiled this sad state of affairs. Hurry and see the Red Light District before it's too late!
Thanks to our Dutch friend's tenacity and knowledge we did find a few to show my parents. A busty woman of who-knows-what descent pressed her mammaries against the glass window. My mom stopped and pointed, "Do you see her nipples? Something's not right with them." "Mom, keep moving!"
So if you can offer some of your own suggestions to help these future tourists, I would appreciate it.
Posted by durban bud at April 10, 2008 03:42 PM
Comments
The last time I was in Amsterdam, the place was a lot tamer than when I first went there back in 1987 or so. The "red zone" was much smaller and most of the window-shopping was restricted to side-streets. There were no longer signs like "Live Sex on Stage REAL FUCKY-FUCKY" (I'm not making this up) anywhere to be found, it seemed.
Posted by: Mike at April 10, 2008 07:03 PM
The intentions of the Amsterdam administration is to reduce the influence of criminal activities in the "Wallen" (Red Light District). Since prostitution is legal in the Netherlands the intention is not to remove all window-whores but just to reduce the number of whores. The authorities want more a mixture of activities in the medieval part of town.
There is a new small gay area on the Zeedijk on the edge of the Red Light district, very pleasant atmosphere, especially when the weather is nice and everyone is outside.
Posted by: Jan Voerman at April 11, 2008 07:02 AM
The Other Side used to be one of my first stops whenever I arrived in Amsterdam. It was never exclusively gay, but sorry to hear that it's "not-so-gay-anymore". And, although I've never been a spacecake fan, I can say there are shops proffering delightful choco-pot bonbons that will add a certain zing to any tour. I'm not really sure how many times I've been to the Netherlands (they don't call me Lucky Pierre for nothing), but I do know that it is chock full of surprising things to do and see. Hop a train to Edem, Den Haag, Utrecht or Leiden for a day or an overnight. Find yourself a traditional gin bar and have yourself an icy-cold-filled-to-the-brim jenever with the locals. After visiting the Rijksmuseum, and the Van Gogh museum, seek out the more obscure venues (and I don't mean the Sex Museums near the Centraal Station). I could probably go on and on, but I've got a deadline thats creepy ever closer . . .
Posted by: Lucky Pierre at April 11, 2008 07:12 PM
OY . . ."creeping ever closer"
Proof, proof, proof before hitting "post"
Posted by: Lucky Pierre at April 11, 2008 07:34 PM
I've never been to Europe much less Amsterdam, so I can't really comment on this post. I have no idea if the Red Light District is way worse than the French Quarter in New Orleans.
We don't have whores in the windows, but we'll have plenty of "LIVE ORGIES!" places and strip joints. I've always wanted to see the LIVE ORGIES just once but I need to find a few buds to go with to share the skivvy experience with.
I am all for a liberal atmosphere though! As long as Amsterdam doesn't become conservative, then I am fine with whatever the powers-that-be decide is best.
Posted by: brettcajun at April 12, 2008 07:34 AM
Is Amsterdam liberal? I thought that the Netherlands had a scary right-wing government and everyone was running screaming about the country being overrun by Muslims.
Posted by: Aaron at April 12, 2008 04:24 PM
Is that a photo of your parents in front of G Books?
Posted by: jimbo at April 12, 2008 11:52 PM
I think I saw them on an episode of COPS.
Posted by: Jeff at April 13, 2008 07:01 AM
Thanks for the travel tips.
I'm hoping we get sidetracked to Amsterdam this winter while visiting Germany. That would really suck if there is no T-n-A in the windows anymore.
Posted by: Jason at April 14, 2008 09:19 AM
Not so savory as sex shops, but every traveller gotta fill their tummy......I just read that the excellent food blog Chocolat & Zucchini has a list of "Amsterdam Highlights" dated April 8 2008 from her recent trip for good eating choices that she found there.
DB: Awesome. Thanks!
Posted by: Buck at April 14, 2008 11:50 AM
Amsterdam is not the capital of The Netherlands. Any right wing scariness that's cropping up is in Den Haag. Note: the "screaming about the country being overrun by Muslims" is less about not wanting Muslims in the country, than it is about a worry that a very vocal minority is attempting to impose their strict edicts on morality upon the rest of the population. In effect, a new wave of Islamic fundies are telling the Dutch that they can't be Dutch (ie. a traditionally open-minded society with a live-and-let-live attitude).
Posted by: Lucky Pierre at April 14, 2008 02:54 PM
If this is your first trip to the Netherlands you are obliged to eat at a “'pannenkoekhuiz'.” or at a pancake house. Their pancakes/pannenkoeks are more like large flat crepes served with a variety of toppings both sweet and non sweet. Speaking of eating, the Dutch have a savory sweet tooth be sure to pop into a bakery. Also eat a stroopwaffels or syrup waffle, a favorite Dutch cookie or a banket a delicious almond filled pastry and don’t forget appel koek or apple cake. If you’re feeling adventurous there is always maatjesharing or smoked herring a historic dish for the Netherlands. You will find streets vendors sell these throughout Amsterdam.
As far as seeing Amsterdam, be sure to wonder through the Jordan, a charming historic neighborhood. Browse through the local shops and see the quaint neighborhoods which are intersected with narrow canals, cozy restaurants and local markets. The entire centre city consists of concentric ringed canals. So even if you wonder off the beaten path eventually you will come to one of the major canals. In addition to Vondel park there is also Amsterdamse Bos a huge regional park with forest and abundant paths.
I would also suggest seeing the Hortus Botanicus or Botanic Gardens, Amsterdam. It was established in 1682 to house many of the plant items collected through the Dutch empires exploration, conquest and trade. They also have a greenhouse with butterflies which you can walk through.
If you’re looking for shopping, there is the Kalverstraat, a long pedestrian street lined with shops that starts near Centraal Station and winds through the city. It is worth the stroll but if you don’t like crowds this is not the place to be.
There are SO many other things to see and do in Amsterdam which are not the “usual” attractions but I’ll stop here with one last suggestion. The Netherlands is a small country with a great public transportation system take side trips outside of Amsterdam. There are many great places to visit and you will get a better feel for the entire country.
Posted by: rob the other half at April 15, 2008 01:30 PM
I had some friends who said they had a good time riding bicycles on the dikes in windmill country, wherever that part is.
Posted by: jimbo at April 15, 2008 03:38 PM
the Heineken brewery tour is cool and well worth the price. They give you three beers and a souvenir. Some how Heineken tastes much better in Amsterdam than in the States. At the end of the tour you can take your picture or participate in a dutch video (not that kind) and email them to your friends (for free).
Posted by: s a at April 15, 2008 10:08 PM
Ive just returned from the dam and the other side is still plenty gay. There is something for everyone in Amsterdam. 3 dyke bars, 50 gayboy clubs. Holland is going smoke free in august (sadly that doesnt mean you get to smoke free but it's cheap enough anyway) all it means is you are no longer allowed to mix tobacco in your doobie so double yay
Posted by: NZdyke at May 9, 2008 08:34 PM
