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April 04, 2008
Yellow, Oval-Shaped Pills
Oh, this is lovely.
The other day my stomach was burning. I figured it was the direct result of eating crap the past few weeks. I got up in the middle of the night to take a Protonix, a wonderful drug my doctor gave me months ago to offset the firepit that sometimes erupts in my belly, due to the pain and misery of being in my thirties. There were only two left in the container. When I woke up a few hours later, I had a really bad headache and my espohagus felt like I had consumed sixteen margaritas. Hmm. That's odd. So I stumbled to the bathroom, found the container with one yellow, oval-shaped pill left and took another to combat the latest onset of pain.
This morning I had an even worse headache, my face was flushed and my espohagus felt like I had, instead, done twenty straight shots of tequila. Protonix is usually amazing for erasing this type of pain, so I went to refill the prescription. When I grabbed the empty container to call the pharmacy, I noticed the label...Cialis. Oops.
Not good. I called Rob immediately and naturally he was concerned about my health, "OMG - what a waste!"
Ugh. I thought it was odd that I had a massive erection from stirring ravioli, and again, later, reading CNN headlines.
I know, I know -- why would we have boner pills in our household? We're not Lou Dobbs. I think it's pretty safe to say that most gay men who have gay doctors stock up on these little jewels at least once a couple years just in case. Yes, we're that piggy. But obviously I don't use them enough to know their exact texture and whatnot. And now I'm all out. :(
My throat is on fire and I have a major migraine, but I'm totally ready to dig a hole to China. What a waste, indeed.
Posted by durban bud at April 4, 2008 02:36 PM
Comments
I dropped by to see "what was up with T.J." I wish I hadn't asked myself that question.
Posted by: Aaron at April 4, 2008 07:37 PM
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind".
A house with those pills is only a hop, skip and a jump from being an intern whorefest and frankly I'm appalled. Appalled and pondering.
Posted by: copperred at April 5, 2008 01:34 AM
Being almost done with the flu, I'm quite glad everything I took came from branded packaging and not generic containers.
But maybe something to play with wouldn't have been that bad with all the time I spent in bed...
Posted by: Barry at April 5, 2008 02:08 AM
Well the only thing to do after this travesty is to just...
"Sit Down On It"!
Posted by: brettcajun at April 5, 2008 06:28 AM
Good lord, now you and Republican Senators have something in common!
Posted by: homer at April 5, 2008 12:37 PM
Personally, I don't buy it. I need some proof. Pics please!!
Posted by: Andrew at April 5, 2008 02:55 PM
It wasn't completly wasted. ;-)
DB: It's okay if you're rolling your eyes right now.
Posted by: rob the other half at April 5, 2008 03:06 PM
Silly boy, you keep THOSE pills in the bedroom next to the lube and toys.
Posted by: moby at April 5, 2008 04:39 PM
Protonix sounds like something from the Frank Herbert "Dune" Series. It had something to do with a Holtzman effect and house shields or not penetrating defenses above a certain moving speed. I am such an engineer geek.
Sounds like you overcame not penetrating defenses.
Posted by: TedBear at April 5, 2008 06:29 PM
Sorry I wasn't there to help. ;)
Posted by: atari_age at April 6, 2008 09:34 AM
Love the Cialis...it has a weird aferlife of its own. I had inappropriate erections for like 4 days.
Posted by: Boomer at April 6, 2008 04:48 PM
I, too, am just sorry I wasn't there to help you in your time of, ahem, need.
Seriously, you are one funny man :-)
Posted by: Raybob at April 6, 2008 10:37 PM
I cannot BELIEVE you keep cialis around. Why?? You should just follow the simple rule, the one with the hardest erection gets to be the top...
Posted by: cb at April 7, 2008 09:57 AM
O/D on Cialis..... I can't decide if it's good or bad. If you'd had the other problem cured, maybe this could have been more entertaining. Greats story for someone READING it, not for you.
Posted by: Mark H at April 7, 2008 03:04 PM
Can't you just pound out a couple of loads??
Posted by: tonkamanor at April 7, 2008 07:41 PM
Oh man, were you bloated? I worked in Pharmacy for eight years and have heard of OD's on erectile dysfunction drugs. Had not heard about the esophageal pain, but have had patients bloat like a citrus fruit. Cialis in your 30's? Damn, I need a city doctor. Mine wont give me any until I turn at least 40 without a visit to a urologist.
Glad you are ok.
Posted by: Dan at April 19, 2008 02:29 PM