ROFL.
If it makes you feel better, I experience this with pretty much anyone I travel with.
I tend to be a highly organized, my way or the high way, everything in its place (high-strung) kinda guy.
Come the second week of July I'm heading to Oak Island, NC. Where myself and 7 of my friends from college have all rented a house. One of our members is driving down from CT to ride with me the rest of the way.
Pray for his soul, cause he probably won't make it to Richmond :-)

Wait, just wait a minute... You mean to tell me that the folks are friends with Bobbie and they had never seen a gay person???!!! Would this be Bobbie, the "one-woman walking PFLAG parade" Bobbie? Sounds like quite a trip, did you stay at the Cumfort Inn again?

Ahh (sorry blog readers, personal moment here) that reminds me of our trip years ago when she used to smoke Misty Lights and then go buck wild with the Jean Nate...

If you need a pick-me-up, watch this little cartoon, completely unrelated but it involves a little something called "Star Anus" Wok the Fuck

Thank you so very much for making E.Shrew and I feel "normal". As I read your blog post to him, we were both relieved to hear that other couples have fusses from time to time too. It's not just us squabbling on long car rides. And we don't give a shit about "gay marriage" either. :)

Wait, are you saying that you're Hispanic?

It's possible everyone has an old high school friend named Bobbie in North Carolina. :)

Oh, by the way -- you KNOW the rule for meeting straight folk is to make out incessantly!

I'm disappointed. ;)

I've been through hell and back lately. I needed to laugh and be light-hearted in the worst way. Thank you, TJ, for always keeping it real, keeping it funny and for keeping it sassy. You're ssssuper! Love ya bro. Hope you and Rob are back on speaking terms now...lol. From one bear boy to another...WOOF and grrrrrr!!

Dude, you need to date ME! My father trained me well in the fine art of navigation. I think I still have the welts.

But the training took, and I'm excellent at it. And it also started me down the path of S&M at the same time.

Who knew?

My former partner and I when on road trips - I'd asked him which way to go, and if he said " right " the correct way was left - Now I use a GPS and my current partner brings Google maps whenever we go somewhere new.

Umm, I know I have been gone from the DC area for a couple of years now (10), but isn't it rather an easy drive to Raleigh? Maybe because I did it so many times, but really..........you got lost??? Seriously? Seriously! Lost?

Hmm, Wow. Oh yeah, I never use Budget for rental cars. But you learned a valuable lesson.

We never bicker when we're driving on road trips. It's when we get somewhere and we change plans at the last second.....

DB: The drive to Raleigh from DC is indeed simple, providing it's not raining. Trying to find her home within Raleigh is when we got lost, Tonka Toots.

NEVER put two gay men in a car for a journey of over 20 miles.

THIS IS a hard and fast RULE!

Having said that, my dad and I have driven 800+ miles together without a harsh word being spoken!

please tell me you have photos to send....how is she.
Yes. You're so right on, the life she is living is one that is interesting to think about. When is your trip to see me....
Your ass never writes about me, and I'm the one with the most history...so rude.

Good Lawd! That sounded painful. She better be a REALLY good friend. lol

My roomie and I travel well together. He sits back and lets me do all the driving, directions, etc. It works out perfectly. I make a horrible back-seat driver though. Oy!

This could have been a story from my life...right down to the forgotten present. What's truly frightening is that we're gonna give a driving vacation a go in Europe this fall. Should mean all the usual Boomer and Buckethead (my sweet pet name for the boif) driving drama plus we really only speakee the English.

Those Budget motherfuckers.

Hope everyone is back to speaking to each other.

The navigation problems occurred within Raleigh city limits. Like all new southern cities, it was clearly built for automobiles. While it has a city center it seems to spread out endlessly into territory that would be considered the suburbs in most northern cities. We never saw downtown, only strip malls and cul-de-sacs. The problem occurred when we approached the end of the directions. Google maps instructed us to go 2.2 miles and bare left when in actuality it was 22 miles. As TJ’s anxiety increased and his voice grew louder, I remained calm despite his insistence that I was responsible for the torrential downpours and the bad directions. After visiting all the wrong cul-de-sacs we somehow found the correct one, “take a left after the Catholic school just before the mega Baptist church.” As we pulled up to the house Bobbie said, “You sounded so calm on the phone while TJ was yelling in the background.” We actually did speak to one another at the party because it was an "us vs. them" moment. The heterosexuals, were under the tent in one corner - TJ and I were opposite them eating green cake. Interestingly, the only straight male who went out of his way to speak with us, was the must bible thumping of the bunch. He was also the gayest looking of them all, he remained thin after fathering a child, his hair was flawless and he clearly worked out. Hmmm

In our household, the secret to long term driving bliss has been acheived through the introduction of various gadgets. Gadgets are not just for the bedroom, you know, rather, they can be of use in a variety of environments. Take us, for example; We've been together for years and are polar opposites on many levels. I drive, he doesn't, I am trilingual, he is unilingual francophone with a rudimentary understanding of English (we live in Montréal, by the way), I am techno savvy, he hates pusing buttons. For long trips, I bought myself a GPS and got him an IPod Touch. When friction occurs along the way, I pop out the GPS and ask him if he has any (insert obscure musical reference here) on his IPod that we could listen to. He gets lost in the Apple universe for a good hour or so (did I mention that he doesn't know that his IPod could be set up in French?) looking for the requested music and I listen to the instructions from the GPS and get us safely to destination. Amittedly, it costs a few bucks for this kind of set up and we don't get to have angry make up sex, but it's kept us on a happy path for a long time. Besides, whenever I want angry make up sex, I just have to mumble something in English or German, tell him to never mind when he asks what's up and make various facial expression indicating exasperation. Works every time!

Tim once pulled the map out of my hands and threw it at me.

I think we didn't speak for about an hour.

I don't want to mess with the blame-that-newfangled-technology narrative you've worked up, but wouldn't all the trouble have been avoided if you'd left on time instead of three hours late?

Next time, I think you should just hitchhike.

The boyfriend and I will be taking our fist big road trip together on the 4th. I can already hear the fights echoing in my ears.

Oh DB, bless your heart. Does your voice go up into the spectrum only canines can hear when you start yelling at the GPS?

My former partner and I picked up a book of "Back Roads of North Carolina" many years ago. The directions were things like, "go about four miles, then turn left onto the dirt road at the red barn with the decaying tree". Way before GPS. It was the closest we ever came to actual physical violence with each other.

We did see some great stuff, though.

And, ahem, this also happens when I travel with my parents.

I've never lost my cool on a road trip with anyone... just bragging a little :).

I don't think the reason you guys blowed up had anything to do with the road trip... i think it's cuz ur short :P. Short guys have shorter fuses ... therefore it takes less to make them blow their top. All the tall guys i know have mild tempers... but the shorties get their panties in a bunch all the time!

Here's my suggestion for your next road trip... ditch the gps and the maps and donn those stilletto heels you hide in that trunk under your bed. :)

Ugh, my partner and I are fine on the road. However, in the days leading up to the trip, he's intolerable. He insists on a thorough cleaning of the house, doing unnecessary laundry, and constantly asking me why we can't eat off the floors. I dread the times in which we are getting ready to ride to a party like yours. He's very self-conscience and I have to convince him to go to the party...every time. Of course, when we get there, he's the belle of the ball.

Gee, thanks for ruining my day with these remenisces.

PS- of course, I love the guy to the end of the earth.

You came to Raleigh and didn't even come by and say hello---and my place is easy to find :-)

I love your writing, it always brings a smile.

Traveling with someone is the true test of a relationship. My friends know when I take a guy to Miami for the weekend I am at "make or break" time.

I used to live in Raleigh, it is a mess to drive there, even without inclement weather.

Life is messy and often unpredictable. We've taken wrong turns before but it irritates our families much more that us. We're together so we know everything is still ok.

Great blog! It made me laugh out loud. Loved it.