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August 4, 2008
I Fly Like Paper, Get High Like Planes
ANNOUNCEMENT: If you just Googled the lyrics "fly like paper, get high like planes" and unfortunately landed on this site, let me help you. The song you are seeking is "Paper Planes" by M.I.A. Who knew using those lyrics for an entry title would bring a lot of people here? Great song, great artist. Go download it. You're welcome.
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Like most people, I spent the weekend wondering how much Proactiv pays celebrities to endorse their product. I mean, it must be a lot to embarrass Alicia Keys and Kelly Clarkson with their before and after photos, right? As I did some research, it became clearasil. According to this site:
Lindsay Lohan - $2 million
Jessica Simpson - $2.5 million
Puff Diddy - $3 million
Even with zit creams, there is sexism in pay. So sad.
Then I went to G-Books to visit Joon, my favorite Chinese porn shop curator. I know what you're thinking. Yes, I've already called him Joon Bug. But he's "already heard that before. Eez no funny."
When I walked in, he lifted up a dildo molded from a famous porn star and said, "Heez dead." Indeed he had died. Nothing like a death to pimp out a sale. Despite the death discount, I wasn't interested. That would be creeeeepy.
Then I found out that jellyfish are taking over the world. Apparently they have been a huge nuisance at beaches this summer. And it's only going to get worse.
I remember seeing a History/Discovery/Science Channel show about the problem Japanese fisherman are having with the huge amounts of these giant beasts getting caught in their nets and poisoning and suffocating the tasty fish with their enormous size.
So what can we do with all these jellyfish infiltrating our waters? Why not eat them? Actually I'm told they have no real taste, so instead, they are ground down to a powder and sold as cookies. Protein cookies! Yum.
Then I learned that they're considering building a trans-Atlantic tube train that would get you from New York to London in 54 minutes.
Interesting, huh?
Anyway, a few weeks ago we had dinner with the adorable Atari_Age (which I found out is not his real name). We had a nice time and ventured over to Nellie's later in the evening. About an hour into it, he said he was exhausted and needed to head back to his hotel. I rapped, "We just met, you can't do that yet. Just rock baby pop, don't stop, stick out your butt and shake what you got." And he's all, "No. I must go."
The following week saw Homer and Brett taking turns at the Durban Inn. We had a delicious time.
We are heading to New Orleans for Southern Decadence at the end of the month. I've never been to New Orleans. It will surely be...interesting.
Posted by durban bud at August 4, 2008 11:32 AM
Comments
Why does your favorite Chinese porn shop curator have a Mexican accent? Or is he running a shop specializing in Chinese porn? With the Olympics coming up, he might be onto something!
Posted by: John at August 4, 2008 12:31 PM
I look completely stoned in that picture- must have been that Rohypnal stuff you slipped in my drink.
Posted by: homer at August 4, 2008 12:40 PM
OMFG. WE ALL LOOK STONED. Dammit. I don't remember doing anything! Do you think any particles got in the air filtration system at the Durban Inn? This is surely going to tarnish my goody two-shoe reputation.
Posted by: brettcajun at August 4, 2008 1:01 PM
I LOVED New Orleans last year and can't wait to go back. Would be interesting to see the progress of the rebuilding there.
Oops .. sorry, gotta go - just got some more spam about penis pills.
Posted by: matticus at August 4, 2008 5:47 PM
"Interesting" is definitely an understatement for New Orleans during Decadence.
Posted by: Erik Rubright at August 4, 2008 8:07 PM
OMG your adult ADD really came out in this post...it is hysterical. You boys will love New Orleans and Decadence. Plenty of hot masc buds and the food...don't even get me started on the food!
Posted by: boomer at August 4, 2008 10:22 PM
I'm sad I didn't get to visit as well. Looks like a fun time was had by all.
Posted by: moby at August 5, 2008 2:30 AM
Interesting it will be for sure, can't wait!
Posted by: Derek at August 12, 2008 11:45 PM