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September 29, 2008

The Myth of Cuddling

A lot of guys lament on their personal profiles or whatnot about how much they love to cuddle. Who doesn't love to cuddle in the infancy of a budding romance? Come back to me in 13 years and tell me how much you love it.

I still enjoy it, providing the whole ordeal takes place in under a minute. After that, I get sweaty and short-of-breath. But I still try for those rare moments!

Case in point: I tried to cuddle last night (as is my wont). I always go to bed later than Rob these days because he's introduced me to the joys of political arguing commenting on newspaper articles and blogs. I was not aware of this practice until I discovered Rob spending hours on his laptop while ignoring me, except for occasionally asking me to proof-read his latest diatribe. I told him it's pointless to debate people in these comment sections because the only people who read them are partisans who already have their minds made up. "Maybe so," he says, "but my comment has been 'recommended' by 27 people." His latest mission is to comment on local newspaper web sites in battleground states. "If I change one person's mind, then I could help decide this election."

So after I submitted my final comment of the evening, I got into bed and nuzzled up to my partner in sodomy (as is my wont). He made some agitated whimpers, like a distressed Terri Shiavo. "Ihhhh, stop, I'm sleeping." I'm like, "No, you're not, you're talking to me -- stop lying." "Ihhhhhhhh!" With forceful drama, he flipped away from me onto his other side. Fine, I'll just put my arm around you and pull you closer to the warmth of my love.

I didn't realize as I put my arm around him that he had picked up a glass of pink lemonade on his bed-side table to take a sip. My hand hit the glass and it fell on the floor, splattering him and the sheets with pink liquid. Oops.

He leapt up all exasperated, wet and pink, looking like Carrie. "Look what you did! I was sleeping!" I'm like, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't spurn my love. God is trying to send you a message." He scoffed off to the bathroom to towel off. I assisted by sopping up the sheets with a cum rag. He returned to deliver some more anti-loving rhetoric my way. I was all curled up in a ball under the comforter and said, "Keep your voice down, I'm trying to sleep."

Interestingly, I found him curled up next to me an hour later. Hmmm.

Cuddling is a sweet, desirable novelty in the first year of a relationship. And intimacy (and lots of it!) is a necessary ingredient to sustain a healthy relationship for the long haul. But cuddling is only a small aspect of it. If you still cuddle, great; if not, don't worry. It doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. Everyone knows that the true test of a relationship's future prospects is whether or not you still engage in mutual rimming with your partner. If, years later, you still do -- then you and your man are as good as gold.

Posted by durban bud at 12:14 PM | Comments (44)

September 24, 2008

All I Have to Say is Life Comes at You in Many Ways

While trying to read online material not related to politics, I stumbled upon the website of porn star Vinnie D'Angelo. Sadly, he is going through a rough patch. He was hurt in a fall and doesn't have porn star health insurance to cover his hospital fees. It all comes back to politics, doesn't it? He writes about the ordeal on his site and is now seeking donations to pay off his $2500 hospital visit. This is heartbreaking:

"...So as some of you heard i fucked my ankle up in San Francisco. Yes i am on crutches for some time with a "skiers boot brace" on...All i have to say is life comes at you in many ways.. and you have to take it as it comes. For you out there that is wondering how i did this...i was running down the stairs to the muni station trying to catch the train that was already there. halfway running down the stairs i twisted my left ankle and grabbed onto the railing to protect it and then shifted my weight on the other foot of which was not securely on the step(being half on and half off) so in turn twisted the fuck outta that one...not good not at all i said to myself. But as of many here in the united states that have no insurance or cant afford it...i was then told i should goto the hospital no matter the cost...i had tore the ligaments in both sides of my ankle...i actually had a hairline fracture and actually a bone fragment that chipped off the larger bone. oh fuck!!!! is what i said...I will heal pretty fast being as healthy as i am.. well seeing that just the emergency room visit was costing me a couple thousand(of which i don't have to spend)...So there it is...Well i am writing this to access some kind of help with this from fans out there.. cuz unfortunately i do not have health insurance. There is no such thing as pornstar health insurance. Allot of people will ask "don't you get paid allot for a film"? Well "NO" is the answer. Since everything is going online pay-per-view no one is buying videos anymore of which drives the price down for us that do the actual acting in the films, So in cases like these, the out of pocket expense is astronomical in comparison with someone that has health insurance. Until a new president comes in power and changes that(lets cross our fingers for universal health coverage)i will be shit outta luck in going for any kind of health care. Unfortunately this case i had no choice. So any of you great fans and supporters out there have it in your heart to help me out... it would be greatly appreciated!!! thnx"

When a hunk of man-beef cannot afford health insurance, you know the economy sucks. Where is the love and support among the many profitable gay porn companies? It's like they are using him. Step up.

Porn stars give and give and give and give (and sometimes receive), with their images used all over the world, and they still get paid shit. Maybe he should supplement his income by escorting, like most of us regular folk have to do to pay our electric bill. Or maybe these porn companies could offer health insurance when signing someone as an "Exclusive." My gay porn company would, fer sure.

Posted by durban bud at 8:18 AM | Comments (27)

September 14, 2008

Thanks But No Thanks

Hi. How be u? Oh, I'm good, thanks. I'm in a hurry so I'll be brief.

The next person who works the phrase "lipstick on a pig" into a discussion, column, interview, or comment, as an attempt to appear hip to current events or some such nonsense, will receive a roll of my eyes, a disdainful glare, pity, scorn, a smack on the ass, and a sharp pin plunged deep into the groin of my 2008 election voodoo doll made in the offender's image. The phrase was played out the minute it was said. Five days later is just shameful. You had me until the very end, Tommy. "Enough!"

Also on the chopping block, the following words and phrases:

Heartbeat away from the presidency
Maverick (What is it, 1885?)
Blink
McSame/NObama (Name calling doesn't bring credibility to your point, fuckface.)
Country first (MmmHmm)
Troopergate (No more gates!)
Sexism
Red meat
Elitist
Liberal media/MSM
Mooseburgers
Squirrel melts
Reformer
First Dude
The surge
Barracuda (I love Ann Wilson, always & forever.)
23,000
Earmarks
Pray away the gay
White working class women
Red states
Blue states
Purple states!
Alaska (What happened to all the Eskimos?)
Hockey mom
eBay
Drill, baby, drill! (There are no words.)

The English language is vast. Get creative, people.

Posted by durban bud at 12:39 PM | Comments (20)

September 11, 2008

Holy Shit

Posted by durban bud at 2:49 PM | Comments (13)

September 9, 2008

Chop Chop!

Amen.

Posted by durban bud at 5:02 PM | Comments (7)

September 5, 2008

You're Not Going to Watch Hotel Rwanda, Are You?

Slate asked their readers to name a Netflix rental they've had in their possession for an extended period of time without ever watching it.

Hotel Rwanda received the most votes. I couldn't agree more. I had that movie for months and kept thinking, I'll watch it soon, but not tonight -- it's too depressing.

I would not return it because it was so well-reviewed, and sending it back without putting it in my DVD player would be giving up on a very important film. I will definitely watch it next weekend.

I finally canceled my membership after returning Born Into Brothels, which I held on to for well over a year. I never watched it.

And I still haven't seen Hotel Rwanda, though I did manage to watch the opening credits before turning it off. Pathetic. It's comforting to know I wasn't the only one.

Via Slog

Posted by durban bud at 10:40 PM | Comments (12)

September 3, 2008

All That She Wants

What color outfit will Sara PayLynn wear tonight?

That might be a sexist question, but let's face it, men really only have a couple options -- though, if I were a candidate I would wear a turquoise suit because I'm a fucking maverick (also, a reformer with results).

My money is on something light and "warm" -- maybe light blue? Or maybe dark blue, to appear tough on the gays. Pink or peach will only remind people of her daughter's furtile hoohoo. She already wore black, and red might appear too abortiony. Royal blue will only recall another scandal. Laura Bush already wore white after Labor Day. Hmm.

UPDATE: She wore something with a santorum hue!

Posted by durban bud at 2:43 PM | Comments (18)