« Holy Shit | Main | All I Have to Say is Life Comes at You in Many Ways »
September 14, 2008
Thanks But No Thanks
Hi. How be u? Oh, I'm good, thanks. I'm in a hurry so I'll be brief.
The next person who works the phrase "lipstick on a pig" into a discussion, column, interview, or comment, as an attempt to appear hip to current events or some such nonsense, will receive a roll of my eyes, a disdainful glare, pity, scorn, a smack on the ass, and a sharp pin plunged deep into the groin of my 2008 election voodoo doll made in the offender's image. The phrase was played out the minute it was said. Five days later is just shameful. You had me until the very end, Tommy. "Enough!"
Also on the chopping block, the following words and phrases:
Heartbeat away from the presidency
Maverick (What is it, 1885?)
Blink
McSame/NObama (Name calling doesn't bring credibility to your point, fuckface.)
Country first (MmmHmm)
Troopergate (No more gates!)
Sexism
Red meat
Elitist
Liberal media/MSM
Mooseburgers
Squirrel melts
Reformer
First Dude
The surge
Barracuda (I love Ann Wilson, always & forever.)
23,000
Earmarks
Pray away the gay
White working class women
Red states
Blue states
Purple states!
Alaska (What happened to all the Eskimos?)
Hockey mom
eBay
Drill, baby, drill! (There are no words.)
The English language is vast. Get creative, people.
Posted by durban bud at September 14, 2008 12:39 PM
Comments
Please add: Walmart Moms and trashy childrens' names (Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig).
Posted by: homer at September 14, 2008 9:43 PM
I wasn't going to say it, but now that I know by using it I'll get you to smack me on the ass, how can I not?
Posted by: Jeffrey at September 15, 2008 7:55 AM
I heard "Spooge Deluge" is IN, "Buttsex" is OUT. Moby and CB are going to be so happy they are so trendy nowadays. ;)
Posted by: brettcajun at September 15, 2008 9:28 AM
Personally, I like the word "ignoramus". For example, I'll use it in a sentence: "McCain found the least qualified person possible and put her on the ticket, cynically knowing that ignoramuses across the country would love her cause 'she's just like them.' In other words, a clueless, bigoted, religious fanatic."
Posted by: DanH at September 15, 2008 9:32 AM
Also out, t-shirts with any of the above words and phrases.
Ahem...take off your shirt please.
Posted by: Jeremy at September 15, 2008 11:17 AM
Well don't watch Monday's episode of Ellen on your Tivo tonight... she managed to work a few of those into her segments today
Posted by: jc at September 15, 2008 12:37 PM
two more:
"Turnip Whore" and "Flazortka"
Posted by: Georgie at September 15, 2008 2:53 PM
Can I still use "lipstick on a cunt"?? They still do it in hustler magazine photos...
Posted by: cb at September 15, 2008 3:46 PM
Don't forget "Caribou Barbie".
Posted by: tonkamanor at September 16, 2008 1:10 PM
Call me an ostrich with my head in the sand. I can't even accept that this would be a possibility in my country. I am with Michelle Obama...I am not proud of my country right now. The repugs are truly putting on a sideshow to woo the lowest common denominator. It's an embarrassment in front of the world.
Posted by: Boomer at September 16, 2008 5:16 PM
Oh God, I can’t stand it. I just have to put up my insanely clever catch phrase I thought of… “Don’t blink, or you might miss Sarah Palin’s qualifications for VP as they flash by”. Haa Hu—OEW… THAT SMARTS! Damn, and I was going to use my groin tonight too! >|
Posted by: DanH at September 16, 2008 11:16 PM
You should also add
"Thanks, but no Thanks" to that bridge to nowhere.
Posted by: Marwan at September 17, 2008 1:24 PM
"Tzaba!" is always in style.
Posted by: t.todd at September 17, 2008 3:26 PM
What the difference between Katie Couric and a pitbull? A pitbull attack usually draws an audience.
Posted by: stebbins at September 17, 2008 5:54 PM
True dat! I am so with you on many but if I hear lipstick on a pig again I will go insane! Another one is the word "chic" I hear it about 5 times or more a day!
Posted by: Rad at September 19, 2008 12:04 AM
Ok, so I'm an offender. Used both Barracuda and Elitist over the last couple of days. In webprint. Let the eye-rolling commence. ;)
Posted by: 'stina at September 23, 2008 11:33 PM
I like McCunt http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Euu_DMhsXQo
and Sara Quaylin - since she's obviously as stupid and a previous VP pick.
Posted by: Robguy at September 24, 2008 4:47 PM
can you add "throw me under the bus" to that list - i hear people use that at work all the stinking time and it's gotten fracking annoying.
Posted by: BigLug at September 29, 2008 1:28 AM
That poor guy in the "Earmarks" photo. Ewwwwww.
Posted by: Mike at October 9, 2008 9:30 PM
dammit, i just did a post like this. now i have to go back and add words.
Posted by: Joe.My.God. at October 16, 2008 4:14 PM