January 11, 2007
dBud Stud: Matt Rogers
So I'm watching this new show on the Discovery Channel called "Really Big Things," (which totally wasn't about what I thought it would be), and it's hosted by some guy named Matt Rogers. He's a big, burly bear and very hot. So naturally I go to Discovery's site to do a background check on him.
Turns out he was an American Idol finalist from Season 3. I remember him from that. I always thought he was cute but kinda goofy. He looks a lot better now, especially with the full beard.
Good for him. I would much rather host a show on Discovery than have to join the rat race of the pop music industry. I think it's safe to say if you end up in the top 10 of American Idol, and get some good managers and agents behind you, you can have a decent career. And he's a perfect host for this show.
Sadly, it appears he's straight, and is "married" to a "woman". That's "her" in that photo with him. Whatever, he just hasn't met the right guy yet.
Anyway, check the show out. It's kinda boring, cuz they deal with concrete and big drills and bolts and shit, but watching him is part of the fun.
I'm here to educate you boys and girls on hot mandies. Consider yourself educated today.
Posted by durban bud at 12:57 AM | Comments (23)
December 11, 2006
The Elephant Men
This weekend I learned all about HDMI cables, DVI cables, RGB cables, inputs, outputs, blah blah. For some reason the sound stopped on our bitchin' plasma, so between hissy fits and chair throwing, we managed to make it down to Graffiti Audio & Video.
The sales guys there were very helpful, but suggested we go to Radio Shack to see if they have HDMI converters cuz they didn't have any. I didn't even know Radio Shack still existed. So we ventured on over.
About ten salesmen greeted us at the door. I don't mean to be rude, but does Radio Shack have a policy against hiring semi-attractive people? Even Rocky Dennis would say, "Eeeew." One of the elephant men asked what we were looking for; I told him and he took us to the proper section.
He informed us that HDMI converters have a male input and a female input and then showed us how their "organs" are different looking. I asked him, "That's cool, but what happens if the HDMI converter is gay?" He wasn't amused and walked away.
As we were leaving, I noticed a huge crack in one of the mirrors by the cash register. I wasn't surprised.
So then Rob and I went to the gay book store. When the owner saw me, he said, "Hi, uh Jimbos. How uh you?" I'm like, "Hey guuuurl. I'm feelin' sass-ay!" He's all, "I have uh new poppers. They uh so strong." "No way! Remember last time?"
He showed me the cover to Jake's new movie. He started in on the whole "you should be a porn star" schtick again. Jeezus, give it a rest. But this time he added: "You uh the right height for porn star, not too tall." Huh? I didn't ask.
Jake was lookin' mighty sexy. For your viewing pleasure, I am posting photos of some hot mandies and one chica (for the lesbians and 3 straight guys who read this). The photos are posted, as the kids say, "after the jump".
My boy Jake:
Parker Williams:
Infamous lip purser, Danny Craig:
This guy is on that awful show, Dog, the Bounty Hunter. I couldn't find any decent pictures of him so this will have to do. His name is Duane and he's the son of that scary man:
The most beautiful woman I have seen, Penelope Cruz:
Posted by durban bud at 2:03 AM
December 3, 2006
Pursing Lips
Jimbo says I purse my lips in every single photo I'm in. Not sure I agree with him. Frankly, I think his girdle is too tight, causing him to imagine things. It's not a conscious decision if I do, or maybe it is, cuz I look like shit in most photos, and pursing my lips is a tool to try and look somewhat cool. For the record, Jimbo tends to leave his mouth open in almost all of his pics.
Speaking of pursing lips, I saw the new James Bond movie last night. It's my gay blogging duty to mention that film.
Daniel Craig is a beautiful man and a masterful lip purser. I would totally share a burrito with him at a Chipotle if he asked me.
Whoever took the risk to cast him as the new Bond is a genious. When I first saw his pics, I was not impressed. His face seems a bit worn, maybe the result of a cruel bout of adolescent acne. But he seems to have aged into a ruggedly handsome man, which proves you can still look better no matter how old you are.
I'm not sure what the movie was about; something about millions of dollars, gambling, a tragic relationship, and the word "ellipsis". I did notice Craig has very sexy lips and a cute butt; Judi Dench needs major dental work; I want to visit Montenegro; and chicks with big boobs look funny riding horses on beaches.
It was a great movie. I haven't seen or wanted to see a Bond film since, I believe, For Your Eyes Only with the not very sexy, Roger Moore. But with this guy at the helm of the franchise, I look forward to the next one.
I hope he hooks up with, at least, one guy in it. That would make me happy.
Posted by durban bud at 11:41 AM | Comments (10)
November 28, 2006
Porn Crush
Imagine my surprise when I awoke this morning, to find a very naughty but oh so pleasant comment on my blog from my porn crush (one of the last comments). We all need a little ego stroking from time to time, especially when we're PMSing. And if the stroking comes from a hot porn star, even better.
Dreams DO come true, people. Especially if you're slutty.
Mission accomplished, indeed. This could get dangerous...
Posted by durban bud at 11:23 AM | Comments (10)
November 16, 2006
Mario Lopez Has a Nice Butt & Other Observations
* My annual Thanksgiving Day feast with friends at my place will be replaced this year by a Thanksgiving Day feast with Mom & Dad at my place. They are staying a few nights, which means I will need to completely de-sex the place and wash the sheets, for a change. This will take hours. I'm sure some pesky nipple clamp will somehow magically appear while they're here, like last time. I hate when that happens.
My mom always feels the need to investigate my closet organization. During her last visit, I caught her reapplying my shirts on their hangers. Apparently, I don't do it neatly enough. As she was doing this, a leather, wanna-be cop cap fell from the top of my closet and hit her on the head. Without missing a beat, she picked it up and placed it on a more appropriate hook. Nothing was said. She continued sprucing up my closet. I was like, "Mom, my closet is fine." In her southern accent, she says, "I reckon it's okay, but yer shirts and pants (pronounced: "paints") are a big ol' mess (pronounced: "mayis")." Whatever.
I've never cooked a full meal for them before, so this should be interesting.
* Some 18-year old whore named pinkyboobies keeps asking to be my friend on myspace. I totally denied her. But she keeps coming back for more. Sorry, pinkyboobies, but I'm not interested in your whore web cam.
The spam situation is out of control on that site. The other day I got over 100 requests for friendship. They were from strippers and twinky male prostitutes. And if you have over 300 friends, I'm guessin' you don't really need another.
* Normally I'm not attracted to pretty, smooth boys, but Mario Lopez is hot. He has a very perky butt. I'd like to spank it.
The new Bond is also a beautiful man. Again, not normally my type, but very sexy. I may actually see this one.
Penelope Cruz is a beautiful woman. Again, not normally my type, but I would totally have sushi with her.
Balthazar Getty is totally my type. He's come a long way since Lord of the Flies. Sadly, he's one of them heterosexuals.
* If someone sends you a smile on Friendster, or something similar, are you supposed to respond? I don't know the protocol.
* What the hell happened to Carson Daly? He needs to eat a meal or two. He used to be cute; now he looks like he enjoys the crystal meth. I attempted to watch his show the other night when I couldn't sleep. I have never not laughed so much in my life.
Posted by durban bud at 12:39 AM | Comments (10)
September 26, 2006
Man-Meat Moratorium
Folsom weekend was loads of dirty, rotten, naughty fun. That said, I really don't need to see another penis for a long, long time. I really don't.
Our wonderful hosts, Matt & Michael, held a party on Friday night. I got to meet future porn star, John aka Waremouse aka Space Cadet. He's a funny guy. Some observations he made:
"If this party is a reality show, I'm the black guy who gets kicked off.""Lisbon is the Baltimore of Europe."
"Dean Coulter is the Greta Garbo of gay porn."
He invited us to a Raging Stallion party on Saturday, but we couldn't make it. Saturday was all about Magnitude, the big, gay, leather dance party.
I played the part of spectator; although I did put on a leather Wonder Woman-like bracelet.
It was quite an experience. Lots of beautiful people. The music was great. Friendly atmosphere. Ran into a couple mandies.
I made it on the dance floor a few times, and proved to myself that I can still have fun without being fucked up on some drug. I saw a number of guys who were so high. I remember exactly how that felt and missed it for a split second; then I remembered how shitty I felt the entire week after. Not worth it to me. Plus, I didn't end up doing something I'd regret. So I remained fully clothed the entire time! Yay me!
After watching some of the events occuring in the dungeon or onstage for everyone to see, I realized just how much of a prude I really am.
Sunday was the fair. It was a gorgeous day. Crazy crowds. Lots of fun. I knew what to expect so I wasn't shocked by anything. It's basically an anything goes type of event.
I met a bunch of porn stars. All of them were really sweet, especially my boy, Jake. He was a good sport, as I took several photos with him. I was well-behaved. Good guy. I hope he comes to DC soon; we would love to take him out for sushi or something.
I have to say it was kind of ego brusing to be around all these hot guys. I look like the retarded brother with Down's in the pictures I took with them. Oh well. We can't all look that good.
All in all, we had a wonderful time. I love San Fran. I always have a good time there. I hope to go back soon.
I know you're just dying to see some of the photos. *They are pretty R-Rated*, so view them at your own discretion.
Cosmic Blast
T.Todd freakin' me the fuck out.
Porn Stars:
Kirk Ziegler
Jake. I love how his photo is in the background on the right.
Blurry Jake
Enzo Grimaldi
Folsom Pics:
Yes, he is doing what you think he is doing.
So that is why I am on a man-meat moratorium.
Posted by durban bud at 9:05 AM | Comments (13)
September 25, 2006
Mission Accomplished
Posted by durban bud at 1:09 AM | Comments (20)
September 20, 2006
Stalking Jake Dakota
Jake is the one with the baseball cap. I will be stalking him at Folsom this weekend. He's my very own McDreamy. I've already alerted him of my intentions, and he seemed to imply that it would be okay. With my luck, I'll fuck it up and won't meet him, but at least I'll try!
Anyway, I leave tomorrow. I'll be taking my laptop, so maybe I'll live blog from Folsom! Nah, I'm not that pathetic (or am I)?
I'll be staying with sex god, Cosmicblast. He's hosting a party Friday night. I hope I can make it. I'll prolly end up at Harvey's drinking milk and playing trivia.
We all bought tickets to some party called Magnitude. We didn't read the dress code until after we got our tix. It calls for wearing something leather. Um, not sure about that. I'm not bringing any leather items I may have. No room in my backpack; plus, I'd be the one in the security line who gets pulled aside, questioned, and anally raped. Maybe I'll just wear a wrist band or something, like Wonder Woman does.
I haven't been to a club proper in like 3 years. Since I won't be partaking in drugs and alcohol, it should make for a unique experience. I hope I don't slip on any Crisco.
Sunday is the fair and the performance with Bob and Rich.
Update: Jake and me
*************
This photo was lifted off porn star Jason Ridge's site. He's kinda hot too, but it's all about Mr. Dakota this weekend.
Posted by durban bud at 2:16 PM | Comments (13)
August 20, 2006
Durban Sports
My blogDaddy once told me, "Son, if you have nothing to say on your blog, just post photos of attractive men."
"Thank you, blogDaddy, I will do as you say. I WILL do as you say."
People routinely come to my site via Google to find travel information on Durban, South Africa, but they are sorely disappointed. More specifically, they are usually looking for whores in Durban, South Africa. Not sure why my site comes up for that. So I thought I would call this post Durban Sports, to again, disappoint the many.
Anyway, from time to time I'll see a rather attractive man on the telly playing a sporting event. In the past week, I came upon these three blokes. I don't know anything about them, except that they caught my eye.
One of them plays golf. Can he really be considered an athlete because of this? I think not. I played golf once and that was enough to bore the bejesus out of me. It took 3 hours to play 9 holes. I had a much better average at the Crew Club!
#1: Kinda handsome. Name is Chris DiMarco. Hits a ball.
#2: Name is James. Swats balls. Has really white teeth.
#3: Name is Justin. Tackles other men. Tattoo signifies bottom.
#3 gets my vote.
Posted by durban bud at 12:00 AM | Comments (7)
August 16, 2006
DC Guys Are Hot
DC gets a bad rap sometimes. I firmly believe though that we have some pretty hot looking guys. A lot of people complain about the attitude here, and maybe it does exist to some extent, but I think you're gonna find that anywhere. Everyone is a dick from time to time, except me, of course.
So it's time for another catty online poll. Please help me find where the best looking guys really live. This is so very important.
Oops, I forgot Canadian cities in my silly poll; I have a soft spot for them Canadians. I also forgot cities in Italy. Whatever, just hit "somewhere else" or write it in.
Posted by durban bud at 7:54 PM | Comments (12)
August 6, 2006
Realizations
I, too, put on my period panties and lounged around this weekend. Here's the way it went down:
1. I watched CNN and realized...
People should vote for Ned Lamont instead of Joe Lieberman for one clear reason; can we all really endure six more years of...that voice? I know I can't.
2. I went to BigMuscleBears.com, hit refresh over and over and realized...
There are pictures of me on that site, yet I don't have a profile. What the hell? Looks like one of my friends has added them to his own profile unbeknownst to me. The nerve! I spat out my Diet Coke with Splenda when I saw myself. Luckily, he blackened out my face in one photo and only left my legs in another.
It's not that bad though; I feel more sorry for the unsuspecting women who are seen smiling with their best gay friend in one of his profile pics, right next to a close up of their best gay friend's hairy hole. Classy, very classy.
I also realized that a number of big muscle bears love their dogs, and for some odd reason, rollercoasters.
3. I watched ABC News and realized...
Dan Harris is adorkable. He looks like a very small man, so I'd like to put him in my pocket and take him out when I want to hear the latest headlines, or if I need to cuddle, or if I need some change.
4. I read the Washington Post and realized...
Gay people are moving out of Virginia and into DC. That's good to hear since my neighborhood has flooded the market with new condos. My condo is now worth twenty bucks.
5. I rented a porno with Jake Dakota and realized...
I need to send him a 'thank you' note. My parents always taught me to acknowledge someone's good deeds, not just the bad. So I did. I sent him a nice little note thanking him for his courageous performance in "Manhole" and how it truly touched me. He didn't write me back though. Whatever, he's going to Folsom, and so am I. So I will find him and thank him in person. Awwwww yeahhhhhh.....
6. World Trade Center?
Um, I don't think so.
Posted by durban bud at 10:25 PM | Comments (5)
June 20, 2006
The Fireman
Last night at dinner, while Manhattan Furball and Suitcase Sally were discussing whether Pam Cooking Spray could be substituted for Crisco for a certain naughty sexual practice, I was still dreaming about the firemen I had seen the previous evening.
I went to Maggie Moo's in Adams Morgan to satisfy my latest addiction. As I was waiting in line, a firetruck pulled up in front of the building. A number of very attractive firemen entered and stood behind me. I was giddy. I could swear at least one of them was family.
The hottest one actually spoke to me. He said, "What flavor is the blue one?" I said, "Cotton Candy." My heart melted as he undressed me with his eyes.
Many people have asked me throughout the years when I knew I was gay, or more specifically, when I knew I liked guys' butts. I always say, when I was five.
I don't remember a whole lot during my really young years, but I do remember this. Lightning had struck a tree at our neighbors across the street. The tree had fallen onto their house. Nobody was home. A fire truck arrived at the scene. A few minutes later, a fireman knocked on our door and asked to use our phone. I didn't know who he had to call or why he couldn't just use his own radio transmission, but it didn't matter, he came into our home, and I was happy.
He used our phone in the hallway. I remember just staring at him for a long time. He was very handsome, or at least, what I considered handsome at five-years-old. I seem to recall he looked like Eddie Cibrian from Third Watch. I wanted him to take me into his firetruck, hold me on his lap, and read me some Aesop's Fables. I wanted him to take care of me.
The next morning I was at the church nursery while my parents were taking their Bible class. I played with a toy phone, pretending to be talking to the fireman. I don't remember what the hell I was saying on the phone, but I do recall the nursery "teacher" giving me weird looks, and telling me to play with other toys. Leave me alone bitch, I'm talking to my boyfriend. That's when I knew.
I got my ice cream and sat on a stool by the window. The firemen stood in front of their truck to eat theirs. I watched and watched as they took long licks. I looked to see if they had wedding rings on; they didn't. Each bite of my cotton candy ice cream got sweeter and sweeter. They were putting on a show for me; I just knew it.
The one who was undressing me with his eyes looked my way each time he took a long, slow lick. He was teasing me with his cold cream. I teased back, using both my lips to suck the cream into my mouth. He flexed his bicep as he lifted his arm to take another lick. My hot breath was causing the cotton candy to melt all over my lips. I lovingly scooped it all up with my tongue, making sure I didn't let any go to waste. I wanted to taste every drop. My ice cream was just about gone, so I slowed the pace of my licks, savoring every moment while keeping my eyes on the fireman. My heart was racing. My jaw was numb. It was inevitable, I climaxed. There was nothing left to lick. I took a deep breath and exhaled. The fireman, too, had finished. He looked flushed and sweaty. I imagined Eddie Cibrian winking at me as he boarded the truck. His job was done here. He was going to put out someone else's fire.
I wonder what happened to the fireman who made me gay. I wish I could call him. We could reminisce about the old days, and maybe share some Maggie Moo's.
Firemen will always hold a special place in my heart. *sigh*
Posted by durban bud at 6:22 AM | Comments (11)