Intervention needs to do an episode on this. And I'll gladly submit a few names to the producers for consideration.

Awwwwwww. That's what Chuck looked like 3+ years ago. And again we say awwwwwwwwww.

How could his previous owner have possibly banished this adorable creature to a cold, dark and cramped closet every single night just so he wouldn't be disturbed in his one-room apartment while getting man-hammered by a horny stranger? Luckily for Chuck, those days are over.

His eyes are no longer blue like that -- they're yellowish. Dunno why they changed.

Cats are making a comeback, y'all. Secure men are openly admitting they dig these under-appreciated and loyal cuddle furballs. Ain't no shame.

Check out this video of Chuck's doppelgänger:

I must buy some balloons this weekend! Awwwwww.

It's my duty to inform you that Everything But The Girl's Tracey Thorn and Courtney Love's Hole both have new records coming out soon. And, as part of their promotion, they are each making a song available to download for free. Yay!

Tracey's new album Love And Its Opposite will be released on May 18, 2010 and you can download or stream the first single "Oh, The Divorces!" here.

If any of you are wondering if Tracey's music is still a barrel of laughs and party favors, this photo suggests, WHY YES -- YES IT STILL IS!

Hole's album Nobody's Daughter is out at the end of April. Download the surprisingly good "Skinny Little Bitch" here before they pull the plug on the offer.

Just thought you should know cuz I'm nice like that.

I wonder what he does with that (and I know you're wondering too). It's probably used as a good starter kit for newbies and that's why he hasn't surgically reduced its size.

Yeah, you like Daddy'ssssss belly B, don't you? Jussssst take it!

Last night:

This morning:

Virginia Market is OPEN, of course. The married Korean couple who run it have never closed the store for one single day since they bought it a year and a half ago, not even for a holiday. And they are the only ones who work there. That's dedication!

UPDATE: I'm getting yelled at for not including photo credits. So please note: all photos are ©Mrs. Durban Bud.

Mega Shark Vs. Giant Octopus -- starring my friend Deborah Gibson and revolting man-whore Lorenzo Lamas!

Here is a photo of Lorenzo hearing the shocking news for the first time.

Sadly the trailer for the underground indie gem, Ben & Arthur, failed to make the Top 10. Let's work hard to get the word out so it charts next year!

I think this sums up 2009 in oh-so-many ways. Enjoy!

Speaking of Chuck, here's a bittersweet video to get you in the holiday spirit, especially if you are a pet owner:

But I am still thirsty.

Facebook is our friend. NERDS!

And then an undercover cop in a Hummer ruins the fun when he takes out his gun.

Recent rumors of me deliberately avoiding the outdoors have been greatly exaggerated. But I did start to melt from interrupting my hibernation too early.

Here are a couple photos of the Meg Ryan from ten years ago looking at a photo of the future Meg Ryan.

Exactly.

A botched plastic surgery can only compound an already fragile ego, which makes it even more painful to watch her on live TV, as she nervously giggles and awkwardly makes animated facial expressions to deflect sustained eye contact on any one of her perceived abnormalities. Poor thing. The pressure to remain desirable in an ageist industry must be exhausting (unless you're Steve Buscemi). Add a low dose of self-esteem, along with a disposable income and a few doctor referrals from shady friends, and you can have a less than 10% chance of successfully surgically enhancing your looks!

Exhibits A & B:

Heebie. Jeebies.

The good news for the 90% of folks who have destroyed their face is that, in very small instances, the work can be redone to salvage some sense of normalcy back to their face.

Congratulations, Daryl Hannah! I hope Meg considers a do-over, too.

So beautiful!

Sounds a lot like those Autotune the News music videos.

Here I am on the beach on Thanksgiving Day, working my fierce LL Bean catalog pose:

Here is God pissing on my photo-shoot, trapping me:

Here's a big clam:

We spent Thanksgiving with Rob's family. But the primary reason for the trip was to attend Rob's 10th 20th High School Reunion. MUCH TO MY CHAGRIN. I didn't even go to my own - for obvious reasons! Rob had to go because he made the mistake of becoming president of his class back in the day, which obligates him to organize and speak at these events regularly or something. Listen up, kids -- that is why you never ever run for class president. High school memories will follow you until you die if you do!

But I played along cuz I'm sweet like that. Also, he FORCED me to go.

There was only one other gay person there. Hi John!

I said to the woman who helped organize the event, "How long into the night do you think the DJ will play "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas?" She said, "Um, I asked him to play that song first, to get things started." Oh. This is going swimmingly!

'I Gotta Feeling' that song will be played at every goddamn wedding, Bar-mitzvah, and class reunion from here on out. Mark my words!

The rest of that evening looked like this 30-second clip I shot:

Drunk Jennifers and 'I Gotta Feeling' are with us forever. Get used to them.